Late Wedding – Chapter 4 – Want to take her seriously

Chapter 4 – Want to take her seriously

“Even if you cannot change all the people around you, you can change the people you choose to be around.
Life is too short to waste your time on people who don’t respect, appreciate, and value you.
Spend your life with people who make you smile, laugh, and feel loved.”
― Roy T. Bennett

“What are you angry about?” Mo Wen Yang drove the Dong Feng Feng Shen sedan that had just bought one hundred thousand yuan. He was refreshed. He dialled his bangs with one hand and said Jiang Yan with a smirk on his mouth. “This shabby prince is You have to pretend to be, and if someone makes you angry, you can’t blame others.”

“I’m not angry that people think I’m shabby prince.” Jiang Yan Ying pulled out a strong body, lying on the car chair lazily, crossed his hands on the back of his head, and the slightly hooked corners of his mouth filled the boy’s naughty taste. However, thinking of Xu Yu’e’s angry face, his piercing eyebrows frowned slightly, and the corners of his mouth flattened and said, “What about you? You stayed in Wen’s house for so long, which girl did you fancy?”

“The only thing you can see is that you caught it first?” Mo Wen Yang raised his eyebrows, knowing that the Wen family had all ran to the balcony to witness the rendezvous between a man and a woman, but unfortunately, he could not see it with his own eyes. Just ask the person concerned.

The car happened to pass by a streetlamp, and as the light flickered in front of him, Wen Man’s little white face flashed, like a warm little lamp dangling in front of him. Jiang Yan felt warm in his heart, and suddenly felt that Jiang Yan’s heart was filled with a kind of inexplicable homely warmth.

Seeing that he was completely distracted, Mo Wen Yang couldn’t help but shrink his mouth to whistle: “Hey, do you really have a crush on someone?”

Jiang Yan was startled by these words, and his eyebrows tightened again. That’s right, Wen Man is a very good girl, with a good temperament and a kind heart; but her family is top-notch. He Jiang Yan has been in the society for so many years and he has met many people, but he has never seen someone like the Wen family. For such a superb money worshiper, Eugénie Grandet also need to step down gracefully. Therefore, if he is a normal man, he would never want to have contact with Wen’s daughters.

Mo Wen Yang seemed to have guessed what he was thinking. He looked at the road conditions ahead and said casually: “It is not at all like the senior intellectual family my dad said. Maybe Wen Shi Rong and his wife and daughter pretend to be more similar, but other the elders look very vulgar briefly. As for the girls, they are actually okay.”

“When they heard that I had impoverished family, all of them ran away.” Jiang Yan didn’t want him to argue for the Wen family, and coldly told the truth.

Mo Wen Yang saw that he had made it clear that he hated the Wen family, shrugged and frowned reluctantly: “Okay buddy, let’s take it as a trip out this time. There are no wonders in the world, and there are all kinds of people, so let’s look at the excitement and see the novelty.”

“Yes, if you don’t come out like this, you won’t be able to see people like Wen family in this world.” Jiang Yan raised his handsome eyebrows, and the corners of his arrogant mouth evoked amusement. Apart from the depression, the experience of being treated and almost hungry tonight is really a strange story. Moreover, it was the Wen family who had this kind of superb quality that allowed him to discover such a strange woman as Wen Man. Thinking of the bowl of instant noodles, he licked the corner of his mouth, as if it was not the delicious bowl of instant noodles, but the taste of Wen Man. That night, Wen Man kept flashing in front of his eyes, almost occupying his dream of the night.

The next day

“The most amazing and eternal art you will ever create will be the spontaneous one”
― Sami Abouzid ―

Wen Man arrived at the company the next day and talked to Chu Xia about the blind date last night. He also touched his stomach and said, “I almost starved to death.”

“Who told you not to eat Japanese sushi with me?” Chu Xia raised her eyebrows, not ready to sympathize with her, “Why, did you miss the handsome guy at the expense of his belly?”

“There are handsome guys.” Wen Man thought about the shabby prince last night, and a sigh was pulled from his lips, “Unfortunately, he is not rich.”

“It doesn’t matter if you don’t have money, you just have a car and a house.” Chu Xia analyzed for the buddies, and now the renminbi is depreciating, buying a house is the best way to keep the value.

“He doesn’t have a house or a car, anyway, everyone in our family looks down on him.” Wen Man “hey” deeply. This sigh is not that there is no money in the poor settlement, but how can this poor settlement be so proud.

Three no poor people. Chu Xia also sighed deeply and put her hand on the shoulder of her best friend: “Man Man, listen to me, this man who has nothing, really can’t get married.”

“What nonsense are you talking about? I didn’t like him.” Wen Man finished speaking, moved her hand away, tied an apron and went to work in the mounting room.

In the afternoon of the same day, after Jiang Yan found out which company Wen Man was employed in, he urged Mo Wen Yang to take him to see it.

Mo Wen Yang was surrounded by a group of people last night, and had no time to glance at Wen Man. He had long wanted to see what the woman who had captured Jiang Yan looked like, and for this reason he was filled with curiosity about Wen Man. He agreed to Jiang Yan and hurriedly drove the car to the company where Wen Man was located. First, he ran into Chu Xia at the door holding the paperwork, so he asked about Wen Man’s whereabouts after showing his identity.

Chu Xia saw the two of them dressed very well and came over in a car, “Hey”: Didn’t Man Man say that it was a shabby settlement? Could this be the handsome guy Wen Man said last night?

“Didn’t Wen Man work here?” Mo Wen Yang saw that she never said a word, and he couldn’t help but feel puzzled.

At this moment, Jiang Yan dazzled the sight of the beautiful woman, left his buddy Mo Wenyang, and walked straight to the other side of the aisle in the office building.

In the indoor floor-to-ceiling windows installed across the office building, Wen Man’s slender and soft figure lay on the workbench, like a sculpture under the fluorescent lamp, with a layer of fine sweat already secreted from the tip of his small nose.

The most difficult part of the mounting work lies in patience and care. A little carelessness will ruin the original author’s efforts. Therefore, mounting is a separate skill, and a good mounting master has the same value as an outstanding painter and calligrapher. It’s a pity that most people don’t understand the depth of this industry.

It was four years after graduating from university that Wen Man decided to transfer to work in the mounting room. She originally studied art design, but later found that her personality was not suitable for this job, because the current advertising agency pursues fashion, and the industry atmosphere is rather impetuous. Wen Man’s temperament has always been slow and tidy, and she likes to concentrate on pursuing the ultimate in detail, which is more in line with the requirements of the decorator. However, after all, she is a newbie who started late in this industry. The salary for her first arrival is not high, so after so many years of graduation, her salary has been in the range of two to three thousand, which can be regarded as a low-level powder collar in big cities.

Jiang Yan knows a little bit about mounting, because there are elders in the family who are good at calligraphy. Watching Wen Man’s small hands repairing the remnants of the painting little by little on the copy table, her dark hair is tied in a gentle bun on the top of her small head, and the soft shadow is drawn into an oblique photo. It is already a painting of a classical lady like ink painting, which is exciting.

Mo Wen Yang walked up to him at some time and looked at Wen Man in the framed room with him and said with a smile: “So you like this type of woman.”

Jiang Yan didn’t argue with him, a pair of star-like handsome eyes stayed in Wen Man’s posture for a long time.

Out of curiosity, Chu Xia walked behind them and listened to the conversation between them. Suddenly he was suspicious: Is it really a shabby settlement?

Jiang Yan narrowed his eyes to Chu Xia when she walked over. After turning around, he first looked at her. Seeing that she was not as secular as the Wen family, he asked: “Are you a good friend of Wen Man?”

“Yes. Is there any problem?” Chu Xia always looked at him with a puzzled look. The two handsome guys standing in front of her are obviously more heroic than Mo Wen Yang.

“How long is a good friend?”

“It’s been ten years since college.” Chu Xia unconsciously slowed down his tone, because this handsome guy brought arrogance that ordinary people don’t have when asking questions, and seemed to like to speak under pressure.

Mo Wen Yang saw Chu Xia’s slight fear and smiled and interjected: “Don’t get me wrong. He is not that kind of person, just used to giving orders.”

“What do you mean?” Chu Xia seemed to have discovered the New World, and her eyes flashed brightly.

Jiang Yan was worried that Wen Man would find out that he called her to the corner with a handsome face, but he looked at her from the corner of his eye and said, “Could you please help me keep a secret with your friend and your friend’s family first.”

“Why did I do this for you?” Chu Xia had to consider what this person was trying to do with Man Man and asked tit-for-tat.

“What I can assure you with my life is that I will be nice to your friend Man Man.”

Chu Xia raised his head and read a clear light in the man’s eyes: He was serious.

Late Wedding - Chapter 4 - Want to take her seriously
CHAPTER 5 – INTENTIONAL ENCOUNTER

Late Wedding – Chapter 3 – The throbbing of a bowl of instant noodles brewing

Chapter 3 – The throbbing of a bowl of instant noodles brewing

“One cannot think well, love well, sleep well, if one has not dined well.”
― Virginia Woolf ―

“Sister Hao Xue, I will show you something interesting.” Wang Shao Han slipped into the study-room and pulled Wen Hao Xue out of the crowd.

Mo Wen Yang was still performing calligraphy in his study-room currently.

Disturbed by a little kid, Wen Hao Xue put up with his temper, and immediately stared after walking out of the study-room: “What’s the matter?”

Wang Shao Han took her to the balcony and pointed to the intersection: “Look, who is sitting with whom?”

Seeing the shabby prince sitting next to Wen Man, Wen Hao Xue’s eyes brightened, and she stroked Wang Shao Han’s head: “You stinky boy, with blazing eyes, worthy of praise. Go! Pull out your parents and have a look.”

Wang Shao Han pursed his mouth, and unwillingly, he pulled Wen Hao Xue out, just not wanting to inform him.

Wen Hao Xue didn’t know what this kid was thinking, she grabbed him a cheek, and said: “Go and drag the other sisters out.”

Wang Shao Han laughed, hehehe ran into the study.

So, after a minute, no female relatives were watching Mo Wen Yang in the study, and all of them slipped to the balcony.

“It’s time for Sister Man Man to get married. If she doesn’t marry again, what shall we do as younger sisters?” The sisters are all babbled. Although this is not so bad for a shabby settlement, some people want to get married. That’s pretty good.

The elders think so too: “Yeah! No matter how poor he is, he is still a man, and a woman must find a man to live.”

Isn’t this taking the opportunity to ridicule? Everyone gossiped about her daughter being not outstanding and that she was a pair of ragged shoes that no one wanted. While Xu Yu’e was choking, she grabbed her little daughter: “You run down quickly and call your sister up.”

“Mom. I won’t do such a shameful thing.” Wen Yuan held her breath just like her mother. She had long felt that it was useless to have an older sister who couldn’t let herself show off in front of her classmates. Now Wen Man can only choose to settle down because she can’t get married, and it’s even more embarrassing.

“Speaking of which, the sister-in-law is really true. Nowadays, when the girl is still a college student, the family has to arrange a blind date so as not to get married late.”

“Sister-in-law and eldest brother gave Man Man the name it really is, Man Man, doesn’t it sound the same as Wan Wan (Means “Late” in Chinese)?”

Not only was Xu Yu’e embarrassed, but Wen Man’s father Wen Shi Xuan also just came over and heard this, the middle-aged man’s old face was equally black.

So, if daughter can’t get married, the outsiders don’t blame themself, and the first target is the child’s parents. Some parents bear it on their own, and some parents usually endure enough to be spoken by others in society. They can’t bear it when they come home, and their anger is vented to their children.

Wen Man was a bit unlucky, and what she met was this kind of parents who like to go home to show off their anger.

The chirping on the balcony. Wen Man and Jiang Yan are far apart, and they didn’t hear them. They just sat full and sat in their original positions for a while.

“Your name is—” Jiang Yan asked.

“Wen Man.” Wen Man said in a very ordinary tone.

Jiang Yan looked at the big black glasses on the bridge of her small nose and almost dropped to her lips.

She is not the kind of beautiful woman.

The facial features are not bad, the nose is small, the lips are small, the eyes are a bit small, the face is thin, the fingers are long, and it is not a beautiful face, but her face will be pleasing and comfortable if everyone looks at it for a long time, because her expression is always with a faint smile, like a “carefree” cloud in the sky.

“What about your name?” Wen Man was a little uncomfortable with his eyes. Although she knew his name, she asked politely.

“Jiang Yan. [Yan] is a derivative of [Yan], and the word [Xing] with three dots of water in the middle of the word [Yan].” As if worried that she could not figure out his name, he took her a hand and made gestures on her palm.

It was the first time that Wen Man was squeezed by a man. Her eyelids blinked in surprise. She wanted to retract her hand, but she was afraid of being rude, so she could only endure it in silence.

“Do you know which word it is?” Jiang Yan lowered his head when he saw her, and asked with some worry, his face closer.

“I know.” Wen Man immediately retracted his hand when he relaxed a little. However, there was his residual temperature in his hand, the feeling he had just touched, but the strange things made her remember deeply. His hand is not as arrogant as he himself, with a thick cocoon, which can make people feel that this person is gentle but actually very powerful.

“Really know?”

Wen Man suddenly felt that his heat was spraying onto his face, and he raised his angle of view unconsciously, and found that he was close at hand, looking at her with a pair of smiling eyes. Pulling her brows slightly, she quickly lowered her face, and packed her things to leave.

Seeing her transient look, Jiang Yan was astonished, and then stood up and asked, “Did I do something wrong?”

“I don’t know how many girls you have made such a joke, but I am not used to it.” When Wen Man said this, she only looked at the flower garden by the roadside. She won’t look at his handsome face that don’t know has bewildered how many girl’s hearts.

Most of the good-looking men are the easier to be distinguished and admirable. This is almost a constant law.

Jiang Yan immediately realized that she had misunderstood, and this made him care very much, which he had never cared about. So, when she was about to start her step, he rushed to her to block her.

The Wen family on the balcony almost stared now they saw Jiang Yan stopping Wen Man.

“Oh my God. Does this shabby prince have a fancy to Sister Man Man?”

“Good deed, sister-in-law, congratulations.”

Xu Yu’e turned around and left the balcony after listening to the cynicism of the crowd.

“I… I’m not that kind of person.” Jiang Yan danced with both hands and patted his forehead again, “Really, I just think you are a good girl.”

Wen Man blinked his eyelashes blankly to see how he was at a loss: Could it be that he is not arrogant, but not good at speech, so he simply pretended to be deep and silent.

“Hey—” Jiang Yan hugged his head with his hands and showed innocent eyes like a pair of children from his fingers.

Wen Man was also amused when she saw him like this. The corners of her lips were slightly raised, which was cute.

At this time, Xu Yu’e came over and shouted from a distance: “Man Man, come here!”

Jiang Yan heard this cold, arrogant and angry woman’s voice, his eyebrows flicked unpleasantly, and when Wen Man was about to brush her side, she held her hand and asked: “Who is that person?”

Feeling that he shook his hand and used his strength a little bit, Wen Man was taken aback and said, “My mother.”

Is it her mother? It’s not like it at all! Jiang Yan looked at Xu Yu’e’s face with all emotions on her head from afar and frowned deeply. How can such an arrogant woman raise a daughter with rich content like Wen Man?

Wen Man broke away from his hand and walked towards her mother with her head down.

So, when Jiang Yan saw that she walked to Xu Yu’e, Xu Yu’e should have been scolded in a shameless manner. He felt agitated suddenly, and took out his cell phone from his trouser pocket to make a call to his companion: “Mo Wen Yang, how long do you want to play tricks in front of the group of monkeys?”

Mo Wen Yang finished his calligraphy performance early, and while the Wen family ran to the balcony to watch the excitement, he answered his phone and replied: “I can go anytime! If it weren’t for you, this ‘Jiang’s young master’ would like to act, you must know, you will always be my priority in my schedule, wherever you go, I will go—”

“Fuck you! Let’s go!”

Hearing Jiang Yan’s tone was very unhappy, Mo Wen Yang immediately bid farewell to the Wen family after closing the line.

“So fast.” Of course, Wen Shi Rong was reluctant to let go of ideal son-in-law, accompanied Mo Wen Yang to the door, and eagerly asked this young man by the shoulders, “How do you feel tonight?”

“Uncles and aunts are very hospitable.” Mo Wen Yang replied in the tone of a three-good student.

The answer is not what has been asked. Wen Shi Rong was about to continue knocking from the side, due to Mo Wen Yang received another call from Jiang Yan, so he stopped looking at the faces of any Wen family members and went out straight away.

CHAPTER 4 – WANT TO TAKE HER SERIOUSLY

A man does these things to prove that he really loves you

“The first step to be a good man is this: You must deeply feel the burden of the stones someone else carrying.”
― Mehmet Murat ildan

Most women often say that men can’t believe what they say, anyone can rely on it, that is, men can’t rely on things like that. It’s sad, it can only be said that you haven’t met a good man, or that women don’t understand men at all. If a man really loves you, he will do the following things:  

A man does these things to prove that he really loves you

Willing to pay for you

Money is not the most important thing in romantic life, but it is necessary. If a man really loves you, he will not calculate money for you. As long as you need reasonable and able to pay, he will certainly not fail to agree. Because in his heart, even you are his, why can’t he spend money for you?

Willing to listen to you

Women often have a lot of unhappy things. In the eyes of men, many are just small things, and they are not even worth caring about. A man who loves you will want to know what you are thinking, and will be willing to listen to your complaints. After hearing a lot of your words, he will comment and comfort you.

Willing to suffer for you

Most young men are hard-working, and it doesn’t matter if they suffer. People with limited financial resources will reduce their expenses and pay for them emotionally. A capable person will think about your future when doing everything. When a man eats himself, he will think about whether you have eaten or not. When he is entertaining, he will always think if he can take you there. When he is happy, he will always think of how you feel at this time. , In short, no matter what state you are in, men will think of you.

Willing to end for you

When two people eat together, often girls will end up saying that they can’t eat anymore. A man who loves you will be willing to help you with the rest. Most men of this age are raised in the presence of a baby at home. They have always been paid by their family members and enjoyed themselves. If he really loves someone, he will let go of himself and go for the one he loves.

At critical times, he will always protect you

“Rain with an umbrella while holding hands with your lover is damned sure nice.”
― Carew Papritz ―

When two people are shopping together, the man who loves you will walk on the side of the road, and you will be on the side of the road, so you will be safe. When climbing, the man who loves you will always be behind you and can protect you from climbing. When it rains, he will always tilt the umbrella a little more towards you, even if he gets wet, he doesn’t want you to get a little bit of rain. When there is a strong wind, he will hug you tightly and prevent you from being blown by the wind… No matter what the situation, he is willing to minimize the harm to you.

A good man needs a good woman to take good care of. Maybe the man next to you is not perfect, not the prince-like man you have always dreamed of, but as long as he treats you sincerely, you should To cherish, a woman’s greatest cherishment for a man is to love him well, there is only him in her heart, and she is willing to work with him to endure what she has to face in life.
  
Finally, I hope that all people in the world who truly love each other will stay together, cherish each other, and face it together.

“A man can be happy with any woman as long as he does not love her.”

By Oscar Wilde

I can’t accept open marriage and choose not to marry

How long is it suitable for two people to be married? A British survey agency conducted a survey of 1,000 couples and found that for couples with a harmonious marriage relationship, the average length of love before marriage is 3 years. “Long-term love and not getting married” may be due to practical reasons, or it may be because in the long-distance love race, the matter of getting married has gradually become less important.

The story is about three people who have been in love for more than ten years but have not entered into marriage. The reason behind of the “Long-term love and not getting married”:

I can’t accept open marriage and choose not to marry!

The reason why my boyfriend and I are not married is me, I am a firm “non-marital person”.

I met him when I went to study in the UK at the age of 23. He moved his family to the UK when he was in junior high school. He is a Chinese with a relatively high degree of westernization.

My thoughts have experienced a relatively big change after going abroad, and ten years ago, I never thought about not getting married or something. Of course, an objective factor is: The sky is high, the emperor is far away, people are abroad, and they are gradually weakened by the influence of domestic traditional concepts. Before the age of 30, the family has been urging marriage, and even came all the way to the United Kingdom to “investigate” my boyfriend.

After crossing the hurdle of being 30 years old, they have been “indifferent” a lot. It may seem that I have lived well abroad, of course, because I can’t get involved.

The reason why I didn’t want to get married was not because of feeling. We only had one time relationship crisis for the past ten years. At that time, it was because my company transfer me to Europe for work study. I was a little distracted by the foreign state. To be precise, I met another person who crushed me briefly. Although nothing happened in the end, it prompted me to reflect on the intimate relationship.

It is certainly a good thing to end from the beginning, but I dare say that it is difficult for most adults to really like only one person from start to finish, although people with a sense of morality know how to stop in action. I personally think that “open relationship” has its rationality, but I don’t recognize “open marriage”. Some people play their own after marriage, but marriage is only an economic bond. I don’t understand what is necessary to maintain this kind of dead marriage.

Similarly, a stable intimate relationship does not need to rely on a wedding certificate to prove anything. Whether I am with this person depends only on whether our relationship is in tune and whether we can support each other’s lives. I have lived with my boyfriend for six years, and I have experienced it together, whether it is daily chores or the larger changes in my life. To be honest, it is no different from married couples.

Recently, because of the impact of the epidemic, our relationship has become closer. Before, we were busy working, and the time to stay together every day is limited. Now we work from home, but we have more time to explore more common hobbies. I heard friends in China say that there was a wave of “divorce” after living in isolation, which further verified my previous view: there is no inevitable connection between a good relationship and whether to marry, and marriage is not the inevitable direction of an intimate relationship.

It can be expected that at my current age, if I still live in the country, I must be gossiped by people around me, even not just me, my family may also suffer. But in the UK, examples like me abound. No one will take us “seriously “. The boyfriend’s family asked us about getting married once “side by side” two years ago, and after receiving no positive answer, they closed their mouths very tacitly.

Later, I would still go to his house for dinner on larger festivals. We live in harmony like relatives. Is it a wife or a girlfriend? Is identity so important?

After 13 years of being together, i “pretended to break up” with my boyfriend in front of my family.

I started to be with my boyfriend when I was 16 years old. This relationship has accompanied me through the purest campus time. Regrettably, I should not be married.

The reason is quite vulgar due both of us are in a different walk of life or so-called ”social match“, and it is impossible to reconcile, but I’m not willing to give up this relationship for more than ten years.

Before graduating from college, our feelings were always in an “underground state”. My family didn’t ask me, and I didn’t say anything. I thought that after one or two years of stable work, I would also be able to have a perfect wedding “from school uniform to wedding dress”. Who knows, this relationship has just surfaced, and it was unanimously opposed by the whole family.

My boyfriend’s family situation is not very good, he is born in the countryside. Although he is very strong himself, it does not change the personality of the “Phoenix man” or so-called “self-made man” in the eyes of my parents. Twenty years have passed in the twenty-first century. My family still believes very much in the “social match” set of things, and this matter is not only opposed by my parents ‘ generation, even the old people at home come out to do my ideological work.

One thing that makes me cry and laugh is that one of the examples given by my grandmother is that my mother just found the “Phoenix man (self-made man)” —– my dad made himself so hard, so I must not let me go back to my mother’s old way. My heart says that my dad has been hard for so many years, and as the economic pillar of the family, he must be secretly despised by them.

The old man was too old, even if he was upset, he couldn’t openly contradict him, so under their strong request, I pretended to have “broken up” with my boyfriend. I only vaguely revealed part of the pressure at home to my boyfriend. He also knows that we want to gain a foothold in Shanghai. At present, we can’t do it by ourselves (the down payment of the house cannot be helped at all at home, and my house is frozen again.), I said that when the two of us are capable, it’s not too late to talk about marriage. At this stage, seeing the parents can only be ashamed.

But as I grew older every year, I sometimes played drums in my own heart. Watching the little sisters around me get married one by one, my “love vanguard” lagged the big army. On the other hand, I really envy those people with similar families who don’t need to worry about these things, even if some of them seem to me to have only met through blind dates, and the feelings between the two are not so deep.

When I was adolescent, I also dreamed of that kind of dreamy wedding. Only after I got older did I realize how many realistic tests must be experienced behind that solemn sense of presence. Houses, cars, deposits, wedding gifts………………a marriage without material security is like a mansion with a weak foundation. I can’t imagine the scene after entering it.

Perhaps as the old saying goes,falling in love is a matter of two people, and marriage is a matter of two families. I have also heard of couples who broke up during the marriage phase, not to mention the problems of supporting the elderly and raising children after marriage, so let’s wait until we have enough confidence to face these things.

When I returned to my family as “single” in name, my mother also offered me a target, but in an attitude of being responsible to my boyfriend, I rejected all of them. I will explain the reason privately if the other person is a little more understanding, and I will blacken the people who are not good at talking.

I have never told my boyfriend about these things. Although I am tired of “acting” on both sides, the pressure of life is already so great that I don’t want to add unnecessary troubles to him anymore.

After being in love for 10 years, we became a couple whose marriage failed.

I was 18 years old with my current girlfriend, and two days is a full ten years.

To be precise, we are a couple who failed to get married.

When I was almost 25 years old, that is, three years ago, my girlfriend and I tried to marry once, because the two of us really got along well. At that time, there was no idea about marriage. Her family had been urging the marriage, and my family was also urging the marriage. We both discussed it and decided to get married.

At that time, I felt that marriage should have no effect on our love, at best it would be more ritual. Our family relationships are more harmonious, and our parents are also young, so we thought that getting married is a more formal relationship.

After the day was set, we started to handle it. My parents played with our enthusiasm for getting married, and immediately acted as the shopkeeper after the tinkering, and went on a trip together. Leaving my girlfriend and I watched the wedding day approaching day by day, they were busy day by day and anxious day by day.

During the three months of preparing to get married, our seven-year relationship almost collapsed. Basically, we ended up arguing for seven years together.

25 years old is the age of struggle at work, and my girlfriend and I are very aggressive. We put a lot of energy on our work, and suddenly we must divide up part of our amateur energy for the wedding, they really give us a terrible headache.

It’s not just a wedding, you must put it on the agenda before you get married to buy a house. The two parents were only concerned about giving orders remotely. My girlfriend and I could only do it, staring at the house, looking for a wedding planner company, and both of us were totally unprepared.

This is when the contradiction arises. Originally, I was going to try on clothes that night(only have time in the evening), but I was suddenly notified that I was going to work overtime. I feel very tired and annoying, It had been postponed twice. I called my girlfriend to inform but who know she was directly on fire, saying that this is not her wedding alone, and asked if I could put more heart on the wedding preparation.

I quarreled with her in the stairwell of the company for more than half an hour. We both complained to each other about how hard and tired we were recently. At the end of the quarrel, she cried and said that if we can’t get along well, then “break up”.

I was stunned at the time, and felt that our relationship for so many years had not broken up no matter how many things. When we quarreled before, we didn’t talk about breaking up with each other, but this time we shook our relationship so easily for a little thing.

Marriage scared me, it started from that moment.

That was the first time I missed work, and I hurried back home to find a crying girlfriend. The two of us carefully analyzed and discussed all night, and came to the conclusion that our relationship itself is okay, and all the problems are the impact of “marriage” on our living conditions.

The two of us were already very busy. The time we needed to be considerate and caring for each other in our relationship was mostly taken away by the trivial matters of the wedding.

Fortunately, we were reconciled in the end, and of course the wedding was over (cancel the marriage event). After explaining to both parents for a long time, they gradually chose to respect our decision.

After experiencing this, I found that not everyone needs marriage as an advancement or bond of relationship. As long as two people are comfortable and can be loyal and love each other, the responsibilities and constraints brought about by marriage become less important.

I have been in love with my girlfriend for ten years, and it is still like our “first love”. We don’t know when we will get married, but I know that it must be the “right time” or “right timing” and it will give us enough time to prepare for the next step.

Marriage is not only about the right person, the right time, but also the right feeling.

What do you mean by open marriage in life?

What is open marriage?

“Open marriage thus can be defined as a relationship in which the partners are committed to their own and to each other’s growth. It is an honest and open relationship of intimacy and self-disclosure based on the equal freedom and identity of both partners.
By Tristan Taormino

Open marriage is a casual lifestyle adopted by both spouses in dealing with sexual life after they get married, that is, their sexual life is arbitrary and does not restrict each other. This kind of marriage is similar to dancing between men and women. If you feel good, you will dance, and if you feel bad, you will go to different things and find your own.

Introduction

Before deciding on a more fixed partner, this kind of person usually skips with a few people. Where can they not practice their personal feelings? How to identify who is best without comparison? Such people generally don’t take marriage too seriously, let alone see it as immutable. Since they can get married, if they feel unhappy, they can of course get divorced.

Analyze

“Open marriage” or “partner marriage”——It is to break the exclusive rights of “monogamy” to the body and spirit, so that both body and spirit can be “shared”.

Open marriage is very popular nowadays. Many young people say that they can accept this form of marriage. It is a very avant-garde form of marriage. However, many small partners don’t know what open marriage is. Next, let me tell you.

First of all, open marriage refers to the spouses adopting a casual lifestyle in their sexual life after they get married. In simple terms, their sexual life is casual and not restricting each other. In vulgar terms, it means playing their own ways.

This kind of people generally don’t care much about marriage. They have a mentality of getting along and leaving if they can’t, and they are very casual. Strictly speaking, this is a sign of immaturity. Since two people have chosen to get married, they still have to take responsibility.

Open marriage, spiritually and emotionally, has enough freedom to develop one’s own personality. It can only be said that there are advantages and disadvantages. Under this new principle, everyone can freely develop their individuality and benefit from it.

But traditionally, it is better not to do this now. Because no matter from the family or morality, it is not certain. Especially in China, marriage is a matter for two families, and we cannot be too casual.

A psychologist told me that his experience of open marriage.

“What do the Chinese think about open marriage?”

When I went to a foreign country for professional training, a psychotherapist Peter suddenly asked me.

In a hotel in San Francisco, we were sitting by the pool, passing by young girls in bikinis from time to time.

He said: “My wife and I have an open marriage, and we have a ‘date night’ every week——I spend the night with my lover, and I will come back to communicate with each other the next day. But recently I have some troubles: a Chinese girl is with me. The time together is a bit longer.”

Peter is white, in his 50s, and still maintains an enviable figure.

“Where is the trouble?”

“I have changed several girls, and I can’t forget her. Are Chinese girls very infatuated?”

“Are you infatuated, or is she infatuated?”

“What do you think I should do?”

“We all learn psychology, maybe you should understand how to do it.”

“No, no, no!” He lifted his head in pain, waved to me, and walked to the girl across from the pool.

Which of the three types of open marriages has a good ending?

After so many years of consulting, I have met many fans of “open marriage”.

The results of it?

I haven’t heard of a good ending.

why?

You will know by analyzing it.

Active “open marriage”

“An open marriage is nature’s way of telling you that you need a divorce”
By Ann Landers

Peter and his wife are both players in love. When they were 35 years old, they met and found that they were in love with each other, so they wanted to try marriage.

It’s 5 years to try it, but Peter can’t try it now.

After he talked to me that day, he tried to hook up with a girl, and the other party had already thrown his arms, but he was suddenly dim, and he still wanted to chat with me.

“What do you mean, try marriage?” I asked him.

He said: “I can’t really love only one person, and I can’t be with one person for a long time. After I love, it’s all daily trivial and boring. I want a lot of fun, a lot of joy, a lot of exciting games, but marriage will be like circling a mustang … ”

“So, you agreed that although you are married, you don’t have to be loyal?”

“Our understanding of loyalty is more advanced: if we like other people, we will tell each other the first time and be transparent to each other.”

Peter’s wife comes from a family with a particularly strong religious tradition. When she was a child, she had to recite the Bible with her father for half an hour every night. Only if she memorized it word for word, she could go to bed.

When Peter was 3 years old, his parents divorced, and he grew up with his father. His first impression as a child was that in a smoke-filled room, his father and a group of people played guitar and sang all night long. Less than 10 years old, he was broken by one of his father’s girlfriends.

A person who hates a rigid life, a person who always lives in a high concentration of emotional stimulation, they all have their own demons.

Peter’s father died of drugs in the end, so he absolutely doesn’t touch it, but sex takes its place and can help him maintain this highly exciting life.

“You know, I’m so tired of these love games, but I don’t know how to stop. We have nothing to say now, and I long for someone to let me stop, take a break, and make me feel safe. So, I love more and more That Chinese girl, but I’m scared.”

“What are you afraid of?” I asked him.

“I’m afraid that if I need this person too much, she will completely control me.”

In fact, we have been working hard to do two things all our lives:

  1. Fight against the demons.
  2. Self-integration.

Peter’s life revolves around trauma. As a child, how can he not need a quiet and warm home?

But he didn’t have such a home, and he had to accept his father’s life, which was always high to the extreme, and only in this way would his father not despise him.

On the one hand, he agrees with happiness, but deep down in his heart, what he needs more is happiness.

What he needs most is a maternal environment, so that he can relax and perch, without so much stimulation to cover his sadness: I want to have a home, a small place, let me shelter, let me be myself.

Those who declared that they wanted an “open marriage” at the beginning were just afraid of deeper emotional links, so they used the development of “superficial” relationships as a fig leaf.

 Because they can’t face the demons, they will constantly put themselves in the game and self-anaesthesia.

Until one day, they can’t play anymore, and the other side of life will flip over——-they have to face a major choice:

Is it to start waking up, or to increase the dose of anaesthesia?

Passive ” Open Marriage”

Such a relationship is very common in Chinese-style marriage.

The general standard is like this:

  • The couple belong to the “model couple” in the eyes of everyone.
  • The two people talked about nothing and were very close.
  • Only have no sexual desire for each other. (Maybe there was at first, and then it got lighter and lighter)
  • Both parties and unilateral lovers outside marriage can satisfy their sexual desires, but they have no feelings.

Such a relationship can be maintained for a long time, but in the end, there will be a day of “breaking work”.

I asked one of the couples to imagine: in bed, how old are they?

The man said: “I am in bed, it seems that I am only 8 years old, and she seems to be my mother.”

The woman said: “I seem to be 18 years old in bed, and he seems to be a child.”

In short, in sex, they all have very depressive parts.

Unlike the first type of “sex game” “open marriage”, their approach is to put all the fear of intimacy in the “sex” world.

What are they afraid of?

The fear is the encounter of water and fire.

A man who had never been able to have sex with his wife told me that when he was 12 years old, once he was bullied by his classmates, he threw himself into his mother’s arms and instinctively sucked her breasts.

Suddenly, he heard his mother’s groan, and since then he has always hated her mother, and their relationship has ceased.

What is he afraid of?

Fear of his own desires, fear of having a relationship with his mother.

Because he couldn’t accept desire and wanted to connect with his mother at the same time, he had always contradicted himself in the intimate relationship, so he could only throw desire and intimacy to two people.

The wife he was looking for also happened to be a virgin woman. She had always been dressed very plainly, and it was almost impossible to realize that she was a charming woman.

Why “hide yourself”?

Because she deeply understands that as a child, after the mother’s derailment, it is shame to be blocked by the “enemy” and yelling at the door.

So they have all become victims of “sexual depression”.

They want to exclude the “dirty” of sex from intimacy, so that their world can not be destroyed and can always be safe.

But this separation of “sex” and “love” must be like a rubber band, and one day it will break if it is tight.

Once one of them has an “emotional link” with an extramarital lover, their relationship based on “fear” will fall apart.

“Fake” open marriage

“The husband cheated. He suggested that we have an ‘open marriage’.”

Many people will face such a scene.

The result?

There may be three types:

  1. The woman also tried to cheat, just to retaliate against her husband and try to see if her husband would be jealous.
  2. The woman also tried and found that the talent is the best, but in 80% of the cases, the other party is just playing, so the woman will lose love again.
  3. The woman also tried, but she wanted to transfer her emotions in this way, but found that it was a futile effort, and her heart still couldn’t tolerate others.

In fact, this kind of “open marriage” is just a repetition of the ancient “polygamy” system. It is difficult for the woman to be as “chic” as the man. The reason for accepting this “big house system” is only because she cannot do without this man and cannot give up. Marriage.

And after they tried, men often had the following three reactions:

  1. It doesn’t matter: He likes this kind of relationship with a very indifferent boundary.
  2. Be jealous: I can cheat, you can’t! The relationship gets worse.
  3. Happy: I finally caught your pigtail, so that my divorce will be easier.

What we need to open is our heart, not marriage.

In summary, we can draw a conclusion: “Open marriage” is not the “final version” of marriage, because its essence is the “low-match version” of intimacy.

There are two levels of marriage

The first level is “protective marriage”: protection marriage tries to adopt various “conservative treatments.”

  1. “Rationalization”: Marriage is all family affection at the end, so you can “bear hard”.
  2. “Drugization”: Since life is too dull, let derailment become our aphrodisiac.
  3. “Defensive”: Since the heart is really dangerous, dilute the relationship, even if the injury is not too deep.

The advantage is immediate results.

The disadvantage is the “marginal effect“. Although these temporary measures can save a moment, they cannot save the entire life.

Because no one wants hemiplegia, no one wants to contradict himself, no one wants to be chased by fear.

We all need inner peace and balance in life.

The second level is the “healing level marriage”.

  1. A truly powerful marriage can help us grow, let us repair the wounds of the past, and have a stronger self.

Many people settle down to realize self-growth only when “love is at an end.”

Some people are not so lucky, “walk all the way to the dark”.

The so-called “change your fate against the sky” is nothing more than whether you really have such a consciousness, stop and stop hitting the same stone.

What is the difference between LIKE and LOVE? Boy and girlfriend, please think carefully after reading.

There is an essential difference between like and love, but in real life, too many people confuse love with like.

Explained in the dictionary:

Like

The word like refers to love in general, and happy. To like is a feeling, including appreciation, admiration, love, and worship.

EXAMPLE : We like him because he’s funny. He is happy-go-lucky. When we are with him, we feel like laughing until we want to break our stomachs. But, we won’t miss him very much if we don’t see him for a week… (in other words: like to be directed to someone who can be a comedian to us. We will tell him to shut up if we want to break up…)

Love

Have deep feelings for people or things

EXAMPLE : We do expect him to be ours. Everything we do, if we can, I want him to know … and we probably don’t want to hurt him. We will always think about him. (In other words: love is directed to someone we always remember and dream .. Without him we will feel lonely and we love him wholeheartedly with a sincere heart even if he does not know)

“I love you without knowing how, or when, or from where. I love you simply, without problems or pride: I love you in this way because I do not know any other way of loving but this, in which there is no I or you, so intimate that your hand upon my chest is my hand, so intimate that when I fall asleep your eyes close.”
― Pablo Neruda

LIKE” is not equal to “LOVE“. Someone likes flowers but she will pinch them back and place them in a vase to admire them; and those who love flowers will take care of them, protect them, love them, and spend time for them, so this is ” LOVE“.

In fact, people are the same, some people misunderstand likes and loves, and mistake likes for love. Personally, people like things that are beautiful. So, likes are just a kind of appreciation. They are willing to pay for you all their lives, love you, and protect you, tolerate you, appreciate, and accommodate you is really called LOVE.

Like is a kind of appreciation, and love is a kind of responsibility. Like is a kind of pleasing oneself, and love is pleasing to others. Love is just moving your mouth, and love is running and breaking your legs. Love is a kind of sublimation of like!

First, the literal meaning is different. Like in the encyclopaedia means “joy, rejoice, happy”, the main body is oneself, which means to like is to meet something or people that can make me happy. Love in the encyclopaedia means “the happiness of giving actively”, and the subject is the other party, which means that how to do it can make the other party happy.

Second, the distinction between subject and object. In fact, it is mentioned earlier. Like is to please oneself, and love is to please others. Like is to satisfy one’s own pleasant feelings, while love is selfless giving.

Again, the degree of difference. Like is shallow love, and love is deep like. You don’t have to think about it, just follow your heart, thinking too much can be counterproductive!

Like is not love. Do you know why? Let me make an analogy. If you love your parents, you just like your parents? This is not necessarily, it depends on your definition.

“Love” can be selfless, what happens to “like”? “Like” can also mean that you have a good feeling, that is, if you have a good feeling for a man or woman, you can also say that you “like” him, but “love” is not. It’s the upgrade of “like”, and only when you like it, there will be love. It can be said that this is different.

I think like is the predecessor of love, and only when there is like, there is love. They are inseparable from each other. Just like the chicken or the egg came first, whichever one makes sense, the same goes for “like” and “love.”

Although both like and love are produced in the same process, there are still obvious differences between them. For example; when you do something for a person you like, you want her to see and know that you did it for her. And when you love to do something for a loved one, you do it silently, without asking for any reason, because love does not require any reason.

“Like” is like a little grass. Looking at that charming little grass every day, you can’t put it down. Water it all the time and give it plenty of sunshine for fear that it will wither away. When the grass grows up, you will find that you have become accustomed to it, you can’t do without it, and you always want to have it. Once you lose it you will inexplicably hurt, this is “love”.

Without likes, there will be no true love. Direct love, it’s not love, it’s just love formed by trading. Without love, there can be many likes, until you are tired, hated, and disinterested, maybe you don’t like it anymore.

It’s easy to like, but it’s hard to love. Some people like many people in their life, but they can’t get true love. Therefore, Xu Zhi Mo said: I will look for the most precious things in my life that can be known with my soul-mate, career, belief, pursuit, etc. If I pursue it, it is my honor; if I don’t pursue it, it is also my destiny.

Many people can’t distinguish what is like and what is love. Simply put, likes don’t need to be considered too much, and likes can be changed at any time. For example: I can like you today, and I can like her tomorrow. However, love is different. “Love” is restrained. Love is not a matter of one or two days but is permanent.

For example, when you like someone, you often inadvertently try various ways to attract the attention of the opposite sex and let him/her pay attention to you. Like is only a one-sided consideration. Generally speaking, it is not comprehensive, let alone the relationship between the two people from the perspective of the other person. Just thinking about how you treat him/her well. And love, will always help each other silently behind his back. He or she is happy or sad because of his/her emotions, so if you love the other person deeply, then every move of him/her will attract your attention.

Generally speaking, it is just verbal talk, and no actual action is taken. The time for liking someone is short, and will disappear with the passing of time. Loving someone is more than just verbal talk. He/she is full of my mind. Sometimes I can’t help but the urge to find her, contact him immediately, or come to him right away. It’s not just verbal talk.

Like a person, just enjoy the good time now, never caring about what life will be in the future. This is not the case with love. Loving someone will always consider for their future and plan the future lives of the two people.

Personally feel: “Like” is like you are fond of a good apple and want to eat it; “Love” is like you have finished eating the apple you like, carefully planting the seeds in the ground, and carefully caring for it to sprout. Grow into apple trees, cultivate and manage them with all their heart, until the fruit trees are full of apples again, and apples are loved by people…

Love is giving, sincere care and tolerance, do not ask for any return, just hope that the other party is joy and happy.

Like is possession, just want to ask for the companionship of the other party, think that if you pay, you must be rewarded, and if you don’t get any return, you will be preoccupied. These are two different concepts. Like is to pay and want some return, and love is to feel happy when you suffer!

Like is to see your advantages, love is to accommodate your shortcomings, like is to change you in the way he likes, love is that you can be yourself with peace of mind. Truly love a person, after being separated, you will miss it from the bottom of your heart, and you will fall into it when you meet…

Love is a feeling, shallow, temporary; love is a responsibility, deep, eternal.

Love is a lifelong thing, both emotional things, and rational things. Almost all love is long-term, almost always a lifetime thing. But likes are often short-term, although they also think rationally, but most of the time, emotional things seem to dominate, likes can be casual, but the word love often cannot be easily said.

The difference between liking and loving is that you will like a lot of people,and you can do it to like a lot of people. There are not many people you love in your heart for a lifetime, and it is difficult to love and like a person for a lifetime.

Like is the first sight, love is forever;

Like is not hate, love is hate and cannot be separated;

Like is to fall in love with strengths, and love is to live with weaknesses;

Like to want to have sex with you, to love to want to cook with you;

Love is fearless, you hold her hand and firmly believe that you can always be together forever.

Love is about gains and losses. After meeting her, your superiority and pride disappear without a trace, and you live without dignity. You are often worried and afraid of her leaving, because you can’t imagine what to do if she is missing in the future.

  • Like is the cause, love is the result.
  • Like is happiness and love is suffering. Only in this way will it be unforgettable and unforgettable.
  • Love is the starting point, love is the end, from the beginning to the end is the completion.
  • Love is unlimited giving? Don’t ask for anything in return. Like can be pursuit.

Most of the times, people with good looks like beautiful and handsome ones. Everyone possesses a heart to appreciate what is beautiful. As for love, it is through communication, chatting and socializing, that you can feel the feeling of heart trembling, toss, and turn, and it is difficult to fall asleep. Sometimes a very beautiful girl comes up with jokes or curses as soon as she opens her mouth, and the best image will collapse in an instant. Therefore, love and liking are a progressive relationship. If there is no liking, then there is no love, if you love it then it must be liked.

Of course, there is also love at first sight. The so-called “There is a maiden fair, whom a young man is wooing.” Falling in love is like playing a game called “fighting the landlord”. If you like him, you are willing to show him your biggest card, because you want to show him the best. If you love him, you are willing to show him all the small cards and hole cards, and if he sees your small cards and is willing to lose to you, then he loves you!

However, love can be divided into two types: one is affectionate love: love and affection, one is the love of men and women: love. Therefore, family love is “like + habit”. The love of men and women is “like + hormones”.

Hehe, general engineering thinking likes to formulate complex descriptions. The above can be regarded as formulas.

Like it, no matter how much you love it, it’s nothing more than shocking eyes and lips, delighting, emotional, and emotional! Love is drunk with eyes and lips.

There is a connection between liking and love, and love must first have liking to lay the foundation. If there is no liking, there can be no love in the heart. It can only be deceived. Conspiracy, exchange of material desires, deduce likes and loves to fake sentiments, pretend to be, and play tricks. It is worthy of vigilance, improve the ability of discrimination, and beware of scams.

The difference between like and love is that like is the enthusiasm of love. Love is produced through the fermentation of warm soil. Love has desires. Like does not necessarily mean love. Love must have like. This is the difference, love is no doubt, love is loyal, behaves seriously, is sincere. Like is satisfied, the mood is optimistic about deliberateness, expressing happiness and not disgusting, appreciate the deeds, with the heart, accept quickly and easily give up. Love is heartfelt and warm, licking the heart, seeing blood stains, being affectionate, it is the palliative disease. Once you fall in love, you will not pull yourself away, it is difficult to give up, blast the fire, the passion is surging, the blood just fills the pulse, love does not Lazy.

Like generally pays attention to the outer surface, “at first sight” is casual and wilful; while love pays more attention to the deep inner exchange of ideas, “love is forever” is tolerance, dedication, and selfless giving. Not asking for anything in return. If there is no result if you like someone, you will not feel heartache, but if you love someone with no result, you will feel heartache. To endure the pain is to say the feeling of love, just like cutting out the heart.

Like is like, love is love, the pronunciation and writing of the two are different. Regarding the difference between like and love, some netizens have summed up a sharp response from God:

  1. To like is to take medicine, to love is to take a condom.
  2. I like to miss you, but love can’t help but fall on you.
  3. To like is to sleep with her for a while, to love is to sleep with her for a lifetime.
  4. To like is to untie your clothes, what goes is the kidney, love is to dispel your style, what goes is the heart.
  5. Like wants to take you to bed and have sex with you, love wants to take you home to see your parents.

There is one kind of emotion in the world called “like”, and the other kind is called “love”. Like and love are two different concepts.

Like:

Refers to a person who has a good opinion of another person and is willing to associate with him or her. There are older people who like younger generations, including children and peers. There are young people who like their seniors, including outsiders, to say hello when they meet, or are willing to help him or her, without giving back.

Love:

Generally refers to the emotion between the two sexes. Regardless of long-term liking or short-term liking, love must go through the process of liking. Only by liking a person can you have a deeper relationship with him and her, deepen mutual understanding, and develop from friendship in the process of getting along. To like, from like to love. It’s just that some of this kind of love is that one side admires the other, and some loves each other.

I think that liking and love are not only related to the relationship between the two of us, but may also be related to our age.

When I was in high school, there was a boy who I liked very much. At that time, I wanted to see him every day after class. I was very happy to see him. During the summer vacation, I called every day at home. I met when I was free. I wrote letters when I didn’t see him. Write a love poem to him, full of joy. That’s it, I didn’t think about anything else, I didn’t hold hands or kiss, but this time of love is strong.

Without knowledge, let me just talk about my opinions. I think there must be love between relatives, and most of them like it between male and female friends!

Let me give you an example. When talking about a girlfriend, I only hope that she is her own. No one can get her. She belongs to her. I want to be together every day. I like it very much! But after getting married, she is no longer a girlfriend, a wife, or a relative! It feels different. You can give your life and everything for her. When she marries someone else can be happier, it can make her live a better life. This is love!

Sometimes when I think about it, what should I do if I suddenly got cancer? Will distribute the few assets to his wife and elder brother, why do you want to give it to your elder brother? I definitely hope that he will do my share of filial piety for me. I have no chance. Then the divorce asked her to find a good-tempered husband. This is love! Rather than the kind of like that I wanted to selfishly own when I was young! Like is possessed! Love is dedication!

Is love a combination of like and appreciation?

Love is a combination of liking and appreciation. I agree with this point of view, and I think it is a more rational and perfect love. However, what I want to say is that I like the combination of liking and appreciation. Once loved, like is shallow, love is affectionate like. This sentence not only expresses the like and love, but also the difference between love and liking.

Appreciate, sometimes, or most of the time. It’s just an expression of love, not love. Believe, understand, and tolerate each other. Love is the mutual support of two people and the mutual respect and mutual respect.

What my understanding of love may be, but I only know that I can really be lucky enough to meet the person I love and love me, I will love it, care it, and cherish it! Having said so much, I believe you should understand the difference between like and love!

Differences Between Mixtures and Compounds

A mixture contains two or more substances mixed, but not chemically as well as not in indirect quantities while a compound contains two or more elements that are combined chemically and in a fixed ratio. For example, seawater, crude oil, mineral oil, alloys (copper, bronze) and so on are some mixtures, water (H2O), hydrogen peroxide (H2O2), sodium chloride (NaCl), baking soda (NaHCO3) and so on are the names some compounds.

Like the classical theory of physics, anything that occupies space has a mass and volume known as matter. Even things can be classified into two classes, mixtures, and pure ingredients. Pure ingredients are made up of elements and compounds.

The elements are simple materials and cannot be broken down into simpler forms. It contains only one atom of type, but a compound has two or more different atoms or elements, on the other hand, a mixture contains different substances.

In order to highlight the differences between mixtures and compounds in this content, we will give a brief description of them.

Comparison Chart

Definition of Mixture

When we look we find many things around us are mixed, such as air, rocks, oceans, and even the atmosphere. These have mixed constituents with physical properties and not with any chemicals and not in a fixed ratio. Thus, we can say that the formation of a mixture occurs by mixing two or more substances, but not in a fixed ratio.

In a mixture there is no chemical reaction, fusion occurs physically. Thus a mixture has two or more different types of atoms or molecules, or at least one atom and one molecule. The mixture has no fixed melting or boiling point.

Mixtures can be separated by physical methods such as filtration, pouring, distillation. The mixture can be either homogeneous or heterogeneous.

Homogeneous Mixture

This is considered a true solution, as the constituents present in this type are equal or evenly distributed. For example sugar solution, mixture of alcohol and water, etc.

Heterogeneous mixture

When the constituents are not evenly distributed in a mixture, it is known as a heterogeneous mixture. For example, oil and water when mixed, a mixture of sulfur and iron, gravel, etc.

Apart from the above two things, the mixture will be classified based on the type of particle size found in it. These are solutions, suspensions, colloids.

Solution

This contains nano size particles, which are less than 1nm in diameter. The solution cannot be separated by the pouring method or the centrifuge method. Oxygen dissolved in water, air, gelatin are some examples.

Colloid

In this solution, the particles are so small, that these cannot be seen through the naked eye, the particle size varies from 1nm to 1mm. The colloidal solution shows the Tyndall effect, the colloidal constituents can be separated by the process of casting and centrifugation. Blood, smoke, cream are some examples.

Suspension

This is a kind of heterogeneous nature, they also show the Tyndall effect. These particles are quite large and can be separated by centrifugation or casting. Mud, granite, dust or pollutants in the air a little for example.

Definition of Compound

When two or more atoms of different elements are combined chemically to form a bond called a compound. It is a chemical mixture between different elements or elements. When bond formation occurs, the new compound forms chemical properties that are different from the components from which it is made.

For example, water (H2O), ethanol (C2H5OH), sodium chloride (NaCl), are part of common compounds, they are made up of a certain proportion of their elements and have a chemical identity as well. The different types of bonds are molecular, acid, cation, anion and binary bonds. All of these have different identities and chemical formulas.

Key Differences Between Mixtures and Compounds

Given below are the important points that distinguish the mixture from the compound:

A mixture is an impure substance, consisting of two or more physically mixed substances and not in a fixed ratio. A compound is a pure form, consisting of two or more elements of a chemical mixture and in a constant ratio.

  • Mixtures can be homogeneous or heterogeneous, but compounds are generally homogeneous.
    As mentioned earlier, the composition of the substances present in a mixture is not in a fixed quantity, this means that the ratio varies, but in the case of elemental compounds present in a fixed quantity, this means that the ratio is fixed. Therefore, these compounds can be named and have specific chemical formulas such as Sodium Chloride (NaCl), Baking Soda, Methane, Salt, etc., but these are not the same for mixtures.
  • Since the ratio of the substances present in the mixture is not fixed and its properties are also different (not fixed) as it depends on the type of material and the quantity of the elements being mixed, whether chemical or physical properties. In compounds, new properties (physical and chemical) are retained after the formation of a new compound, and we know the quantity or ratio of the elements present in the compound.
  • Separation of the substances present in the mixture is easy by different physical methods such as filtration, chromatography, evaporation, while in the case of compounds the substances are not easily separated and performed when compared to chemical methods.
  • No new substance is formed from a mixture, due to the irreversible properties of its constituents, while there is always the formation of new substances, due to the mixing of the chemical properties of different elements.
  • No heat change or energy involvement is observed when the mixture is made, but the formation of the compound results in a heat change as energy is applied or evolved in the reaction. The mixture has no melting or boiling point, but the compound has diluted melting and boiling points.
  • Examples of mixtures are alloys such as copper, bismuth, chromium, seawater (salt and water), gas mixtures, etc., while Sodium Chloride, Baking Soda, Methane, Salt, etc.

In conclusion

The information mentioned in this article is not applicable in science, but can be observed in everyday life; therefore it is necessary to know all these terms in detail to identify and distinguish them.

What is the Difference Between Mitosis and Meiosis?

Most people get injuries, which are complex or simple like bruises and, over time, these injuries heal. This healing process may be done through cell division in which a single cell divides to form two or more cells and the process continues like a cycle. This process helps living things grow, for example, more than 2 trillion cells divide each day in humans. There are two types of cell division processes, mitosis and meiosis, each with different characteristics.

Definition

Mitosis:

A single cell divides into two genetically similar cells. The process is asexual and the resulting cells have the same number of chromosomes in each diploid cell, each with the same nucleus.

Meiosis:

Meiosis is the process of sexual cell reproduction in which one cell divides its homologous chromosomes equally to form two haploid cells with half the number of stem cell chromosomes.

Mitosis process

Mitosis occurs in five phases that detail the changes through which the cells go. These stages are prophase, prometaphase, metaphase, anaphase, and telophase.

In prophase, chromosomes dissolve in the nucleus while centrioles move in pairs to opposite sides in the nucleus. As this process continues, the spindle fibers begin to form bridges from one end of the cell to the other.

In the next phase, prometaphase, the nucleus that envelops the chromosome begins to rupture and, now without a nucleus, the sister chromatid becomes independent. Long protein chains form the entire cell and are attached to the kinetochore (protein) which is in the center (centromere).

In the third phase, metaphase, kinetochore microtubules induce and attract sister chromatids. The chromosomes are then united in preparation for division.

In anaphase, the two chromatid sisters divide and move toward the cell pole. Although the kinetochore holding the fixed microtubules is attached to the centromere, it begins to shorten in length, while the second group of microtubules not attached to the kinetochore begins to lengthen. The whole cell then begins to stretch and pull in the opposite direction.

Finally, the process enters the telophase stage where each identical chromosome reaches the end pole of the cell while the spindle fibers begin to disappear. On each chromosome, the nuclear membrane forms and forms the nucleolus within each nucleus.

Although not considered part of the mitotic phase, the final process in mitosis is cytokinesis in which cells physically divide before the process begins again.

Meiosis process

Meiosis produces two different cells with half the number of chromosomes compared to the stem cell thus increasing genetic variation. There are two main steps of meiosis; meiosis I and meiosis II. The process of meiosis is important because it reduces the number of chromosomes in an egg or sperm to one set and also allows for the propagation of more than one pair of parental chromosomes.

Meiosis I

Meiosis I has four phases. In the first phase, prophase I, chromosomes appear, the nuclear membrane disappears, and centrioles begin to build spindle fibers to cover the chromosomes. The chromosome then splits into two sister chromatids whose centromere is held together. Thus, this process means that there are two sets of sister chromatids (four chromatids) in two chromosomes. Two non -cat chromosomes cross because the other two remain. Second, in metaphase I, chromosomes line up in the center of the paired spindle fibers. The third phase, Anaphase I, creatures when the same number of chromosomes are divided. In the final phase, telophase I, daughter cells completely divide, chromosomes disappear, and a nuclear membrane is formed.

Meiosis II

Meiosis II also has four phases in meiosis I. First in prophase II, centrioles form spindle fibers as the nuclear membrane disappears and chromosomes become more visible entering into metaphase II where chromosomes are again united in the middle along the spindle fibers. In anaphase II, the chromosome divides into two chromatids that each contain a piece of DNA then the cell divides. Finally, the shape of the nucleic membrane produces four new cells each with different DNA. In men, four cells form sperm while in women, only one cell becomes an egg and the remaining three are reabsorbed into the body.

Summary of Differences

Meiosis occurs in humans, animals, plants, and fungi to produce new genes after a homologous pair. The process of meiosis includes two parts that produce four haploid cells. This process only produces sex cells. Mitosis occurs in all organisms to produce all cells except sex cells. In mitosis, homologues are not paired and division occurs only once to produce 2 identical cells.

Late Wedding – Chapter 2 – Only the handsome shabby prince

“You are not rich until you have a rich heart.”
― Roy T. Bennett

Chapter 2 – Only the handsome shabby prince

“The one who walks in the front, gentle and pleasant, is the son of my dad colleague named Mo Wen Yang. The one behind is the friend he brought with him, named Jiang Yan.” Wen Hao Xue gave a live commentary to the sisters.

Since Jiang Yan was more handsome than Mo Wen Yang, everyone rushed forward.

After an hour, all the people gnashed their teeth,muttered their mouths, and retreated with a gray head and a lost face.

“What is it? Isn’t it just a shabby guy!”

“This suit he came to us to wear today was lent to him by his friend.”

“There is no money, only handsome farts.”

“Don’t talk about the house and car, according to his unstable job and salary, he is not a civil servant, and it is difficult to support his family.”

Wen Man thought later that if Jiang Yan hadn’t settled down, she probably wouldn’t even look at him. The main reason is that he can make her a group of sisters and aunts get angry then its enough to make her look different.

Leaving the page in his hand, stretching her neck from the shadow, Wen Man carefully landed on the shabby prince with her eyes through the big glasses.

The height should be more than 1.8 meters, silver-striped shirt, blue and black trousers, polished leather shoes, and the top button of the shirt has been pulled out, revealing a small graceful collarbone.

The facial features are clear, the nose is sharp, the brows have a touch of arrogance, and the corners of the lips have a touch of coldness.

Accidentally, the two of them touched their eyes.

Wen Man’s head drooped immediately, her eyes facing the book spread out on her lap. As the noise in the living room became louder and louder, she moved the stool to the balcony to make it quiet.

Unexpectedly, the floor-to-ceiling window of the balcony suddenly pushed away,and a figure flashed next to her.

“When someone loves you, the way they talk about you is different. You feel safe and comfortable.”
― Jess C. Scott

The small clusters of gentle and beautiful eyebrows, and the small raised corners of the eyes can see the shabby settler leaning on the balcony railing, sighing like a hair dryer:

“The scenery is beautiful, but the wind is a little bit strong and I feel hungry.”

The sound of grunt and hunger came from this charming and handsome man.

The shabby prince is really a dilapidated, and the Wen family said that it is useless only to be handsome.

The problem is that when Wen Man listened to this voice, she remembered that she couldn’t eat dinner because of her mother’s urgency, so she was hungry and couldn’t hold it anymore.

She looked carefully into the living room, everyone in Wen’s family was doing everything they could to get up to the marriage. At this time, if you shout hungry, you will not only be horrified, but you will also definitely be embarrassed by Xu Yu’e. Forget it. Wen Man placed the book lightly, stood up, and prepared to sneak out to find food for himself.

However, the shabby household turned his head and stared at her. A pair of mixed eyes of various colors made Wen Man’s spine look a little hairy. This person is obviously going hungry, and he seems to be a little bit resentful. It may be that when he was brought to Wen’s house, he thought he could be invited to eat a meal, but he didn’t expect to be hungry without the free meal.

“If you don’t mind eating instant noodles—” Wen Man opened his lips carefully, paying attention to the situation in the living room.

However, this shabby price is so arrogant, can he accept the suggestion of eating instant noodles?

The tall and tall figure flashed quickly, grabbed one of her hands, nodded like garlic, and said, “No problem, as long as it can fill the stomach, anything is fine.”

This poor man can’t even afford instant noodles.

Wen Man doesn’t know how to describe this momentary complex feeling in her heart: pity for the same illness?

All the people in the living room moved to the study room to watch Mo Wen Yang perform calligraphy. Wen Man walked to the door and opened the door, and the two of them slipped out smoothly.

Outside the house, as he said, the night scene was beautiful, and a round of moonlight shone on the road in the community, shining the shadows of the two. The wind is a little bit stronger, and the green plants in the community can be heard rustling, making it seem quiet.

“The moon is a loyal companion.
It never leaves. It’s always there, watching, steadfast, knowing us in our light and dark moments, changing forever just as we do. Every day it’s a different version of itself.
Sometimes weak and wan, sometimes strong and full of light.
The moon understands what it means to be human.
Uncertain. Alone. Cratered by imperfections.”
― Tahereh Mafi

When you reach the corner of the intersection, there is a small shop.

Wen Man touched the pockets of her jeans. She happened to have more than a dozen dollars for change after buying a paintbrush for Wen Yuan. She discussed with the owner of the commissary: “I want two bowls of Master Kong beef noodles. Can you flush us with hot water?  We put the fabric ourselves. By the way, I also want a pack of mustard greens.”

After the commissary owner received the money, he followed her instructions and helped her get everything ready. So, Wen Man began to unpack the noodle bowls and put ingredients in the two-noodle bowls. In the eyes of others, her way of discharging is a bit strange, instead of putting all the ingredients in one piece according to the instructions and soaking in hot water. The commissary owner and Jiang Yan watched her keep busy with the two-noodle bowls with a pair of small hands. They were surprised and talking from the heart: Does it take so much trouble to eat instant noodles?

“Okay,meal is ready to serve.” After a few minutes, Wen Man smiled in satisfaction with a pair of crescent eyes.

When Jiang Yan took the noodle bowl she handed over, there was a pause in her smiling eyes that looked like crescent moons, and the handsome face seemed to flash with a daze.

“Let’s sit there for dinner, don’t hinder others from doing business.” Wen Man lowered his head, holding his noodle bowl and sat on the stone piers on both sides of the street.

Jiang Yan took two slender legs and sat beside her in a few steps, he follows her to lift the cover of the noodle bowl. The scent rushing on the face is like the taste of ordinary instant noodles, with a touch of more appetizing. Looking down the noodles and dried vegetables floating on the bowl seemed to be soaked just right, and there was no slick. Jiang Yan stirred the plastic fork in the noodles, picked it up and sucked it into his mouth. His eyes were stunned: delicious!

Instant noodles and dried vegetables that are just soaked in this way are not something ordinary people can make.

Wen Man ate slowly beside him, to the level of gentleness, without making the slightest sound of eating noodles.

Jiang Yan’s stomach was very hungry. The noodles were delicious. He raised the noodle bowl and grumbled and drank the soup in the noodle bowl to the bottom in one breath. After eating clean, he was also a little startled: he never knew instant noodles could be so delicious.

Wen Man only ate half a bowl, took out a package of tissues from her jacket bag, and gave him one.

Jiang Yan folded a stack of paper towels and took them to wipe the corners of his mouth slowly. After hesitating, he asked, “Do you often eat instant noodles? ”

Her skills in making instant noodles and eating instant noodles are superb and should be after a long time of practice. Ordinary people probably think so.

After Wen Man froze for a while, she smiled amusedly: “How is it possible?”

Jiang Yan saw her smile,and this time he was not startled. A complex calmness appeared in her eyes when he looked at her: “You–very good.”

Wen Man was even more stunned: “Hey?”

“Everyone in your family knows my situation, only you are willing to invite me to eat.”  When Jiang Yan said this, there was nothing ashamed of his poverty on his handsome face.

Wen Man blinked his eyelashes slightly curled up: This shabby prince is really extraordinary arrogance.

CHAPTER 3 – THE THROBBING OF A BOWL OF INSTANT NOODLES BREWING

Late Wedding – Chapter 1 – Blind Date Banquet

“A wedding is and event, but marriage is a life.”
By Myles Munroe

Chapter 1 – Blind Date Banquet

Early in the morning, when Wen Man left the house, hers mother Xu Yu’e chased her to the door and said:

“Man Man, Yuan Yuan needs two brushes and a box of gouache paint. When you get off work, take a detour to the stationery store which is next door to the Academy of Fine Arts to buy it back.”

After saying this, Xu Yu’e didn’t wait for her eldest daughter to agree, and she turned it back into the house without giving her eldest daughter money.

This is mostly the case since childhood. Wen Man is the boss of the family, and she gives her sister Wen Yuan everything. This law seems to be taken for granted by her parents and her sister.

Wen Man opened hers wallet and looked inside, less than a hundred dollars. Think of the stationery store next door to the Academy of Fine Arts, which is the most expensive art supplies stationery store in the city. She folded back into her room, took out the salary seal she had just got the day before yesterday, and pulled out another two hundred dollars from it. In this way, she has no pocket money this month except for the maintenance fees paid to her parents.

When I arrived at the company, the early summer of my college classmate and best friend took Wen Man’s shoulder: “My husband is not at home tonight, I don’t want to cook, how about going to eat Japanese sushi together?”

“No money.” Wen Man speaking honest.

“You only got your salary the day before yesterday.” Chu Xia was a little surprised, and immediately understood, sighed, “Man Man, uncle and auntie are really partial. Don’t you resist?”

The corners of Wen Man’s lips were slightly pressed, and her smile was like a lady in a TV series.

Chu Xia knew that this best friend was not outstanding. Only when she was smiling, hers two black eyes were like crescent moons, and she could kill men, women, and children. It’s just that Wen Man’s smile can only be spread to people who she trusts. The average person sees Wen Man, with a thin face, big black glasses covering most of his face, and she likes to hide in the corner, like an invisible person.

I remember that there was a reunion, and she and Wen Man were present. As a result, when it was about to end, the host counted the people present and handed out gifts, shouting: “Hey, didn’t Wen Man come tonight?”

Wen Man raised hers hand silently in the corner: “Yes.”

The host was so ashamed that he almost dug a hole in the ground.

…………………

“Chu Xia.I heard that you are going to Bei Huo with your husband.” Wen Man interrupted her best friend’s wandering in a word.

Wen Man’s voice is born, like a little sheep, soft and fluffy. Her voice, some people hate, some people like. Chu Xia likes it, but Wen Man’s family, especially Wen Man’s younger sister, hates her sister’s voice.

Chu Xia is often surprised after listening to the voice of a good friend, before saying:“ What’s wrong? Have you figured it out? Finally thought of leaving that home?”

Wen Man sipped her lips and did not answer.

Chu Xia hugged her shoulder: “If you want, come with us, and  three of us will take care of each other.”

“I don’t paint dreams or nightmares, I paint my own reality.”
By Frida Kahlo

In the evening, punch in at the company on time to get off work. Chu Xia accompanied Wen Man and took a detour to the most expensive stationery store in the city. He bought Wen Yuan two brushes and a box of pigments, both good brands, and removed more than 230 dollars at the checkout. Wen Man thought: Fortunately, I brought an extra two hundred dollars.

Chu Xia complained about her again: “All the money you make is invested in your sister. When she is famous, will she repay you?”

“Our whole family has invested in her alone, not just me.” Wen Man used this to prevaricate her best friend’s concern.

“Cheh! With her ability, I don’t believe she can be admitted to the Central Academy of Fine Arts.” Chu Xia raised the bar; I really can’t see it.

“Better than me. I’m just a second grade of universities. She is a key high school, and she should have been able to go to first grade of universities.” Wen Man said sternly.

“I really want to curse her that she can’t get in to the first grade of universities.” Chu Xia vowed to die.

Wen Man pursed her lips: “Immoral.”

Wen Man often made a witty remark in silence.

Chu Xia felt that after so many years of dating, she still couldn’t see what kind of person Wen Man was.

When the two wanted to get on the bus and go to a Japanese sushi restaurant in the city center, Wen Man’s cell phone rang suddenly.

“Mom, what can I do for you? I am tonight——–”

“You hurry to your second uncle‘s house now, all the girls must attend the family gathering tonight.” Xu Yu’e finished speaking, and without her daughter’s reply, she “snapped” and hung up the phone.

“What’s wrong?” Chu Xia asked.

“My mother asked me to go to my second uncle’s house. We have a big family gathering tonight.” Wen Man made a bitter face, “I’m sorry, Chu Xia.”

“Haha! It’s okay, I’m used to being put on the plane by you, at most the next meal on you, I still earn.” Chu Xia grinned generously, and then looked at Wen Man’s clothes, “If you have a big family gathering, are you sure you going to wear it like this?”

Wen Man works in the mounting room, often stained with some paint or something on his clothes, so he works in the most ordinary clothes. Like today, a polka-dot shirt has been stained with some colored paste on the pendulum, which cannot be washed off, and the jeans below have been smeared with two ink spots.

“It doesn’t matter, it’s just a family gathering.” Wen Man glanced at himself and shook his head, “If I go back for a change, I will be scolded by my family for being late.”

Therefore, Wen Man took another bus after breaking up with Chu Xia at the bus station.

Wen Man’s second uncle, named Wen Shirong, holds a clerical position in the city hall, and is one of the richest in the Wen family. Wen Shirong’s house is in Shengtang Garden. The market price is 10,000 dollars per square meter. It is located on the first floor of the community, with five bedrooms and three living rooms, and a small garden.

But if possible, Wen Man never wanted to step into the door of his second uncle’s house.

This is to say that Wen Man’s grandfather died early, and there was only one grandma living in the old house. Wen Man’s father, Wen Shixuan, was the eldest son of the Wen family. He was supposed to become the eldest of the Wen family after the death of his parents, taking charge of the whole family’s affairs. However, Wen Shixuan lived very poorly, and he and his wife opened a grocery store, barely making ends meet. Therefore, the boss of a family who is now in charge has become the second brother Wen Shirong.

Wen Shixuan couldn’t hold his head up in the family, and Xu Yu’e was also humiliated even though she was called the sister-in-law. The two failed to give birth to a son to inherit the incense, so all hopes were placed on the two daughters. Although, Wen Man is the oldest of the seven girls of the Wen family’s generation but is the least promising one. Wen Man couldn’t even go to a key high school. She only took a second-grade universities, and the company she came out to work for was mediocre. She is twenty-nine years old today, and she couldn’t even talk about a partner.

Xu Yu’e felt that her eldest daughter was humiliated, and she poured all her thoughts into her second daughter Wen Yuan. At least Wen Yuan went to a key high school, and the target was a key university in Beijing.

Wen Man rang the doorbell of the second uncle’s house.

With a tick, it was Wen Haoxue, the daughter of second uncle, who opened the door for her.

Wen Haoxue is twenty-two this year and is studying at a media university in the city. Her appearance is biased towards her mother Zhang Qiuyan, with a round face, long wavy hair, and a pair of beautiful eyes slightly like red phoenix eyes.

Wen Man was slightly surprised: Wen Haoxue was at home tonight? Why did Wen Haoxue wear high heels on her feet and red makeup on her face, as if she was going out to a banquet?

“Sister Man Man, didn’t your mother tell you anything?” It seemed that it was Wen Haoxue who should express amazement when she looked at the clothes and pants that Wen Man had contaminated.

“What’s wrong, today is not just an ordinary family gathering?” Wen Man asked, and the pen and paint she bought for Wen Yuan were still in the plastic bag she was carrying.

As soon as Wen Haoxue looked at her expression, she guessed that she didn’t know anything. She first pulled her into the door, and then said in detail: “My dad, brought the sons of two colleagues over.”

“Hey?” Wen Man was pulled straight by her and walked all the way to the living room.

Inside, there are three generation of Wen family men and women inside and outside, men in uniform formal suits and ties, and women are all dressed to the nines. Such a large line-up scared Wen Man very much.

“Man Man, why are you dressed like this?” Xu Yu’e saw her daughter for the first time and jumped up and pointed. At this call, everyone heard the voice and focused their eyes on Wen Man. Xu Yu’e regretted it, lost his face, and suddenly sat back in his seat.

Wen Haoxue’s mother, Zhang Qiuyan, came over and seemed to ask with concern: “What’s going on, Haoxue?”

Wen Haoxue said in front of everyone in the living room: “Sister Man Man doesn’t know what the party tonight is for. The elder aunt didn’t seem to tell her.”

Wen Man frowned and wanted to open his mouth.

Xu Yu’e has rushed to say: “I have ordered Yuanyuan to let her call and tell her sister, be sure to remember to go home and change clothes.”

Wen Yuan saw her mother kick the ball on her head, and her face didn’t change: “I called my sister, but my sister didn’t listen. If you don’t believe me, you can ask Shu Ya. I also asked Shu Ya to call Wen Man once.”

After receiving Wen Yuan’s wink, Liao Shu Ya, who was reading a magazine with Wang Yun Yun, heard this, and her face did not change color: “I called Sister Man Man, sister Man Man must be in the car, and didn’t hear it.”

Several people rolled the responsibilities and returned to Wen Man herself. Wen Man smiled slightly without showing her teeth.

Seeing that the elder daughter didn’t care at all, Xu Yu’e heart telling herself that Wen Man is still far from their expectations.

“Since this is the case, Sister-in-law, let Hao Xue borrow a set of clothes for Man Man to wear.” Zhang Qiu Yan said openly and showed the demeanour of the mother of the family in a cordial manner.

Xu Yu’e frowned, thinking: If she accepts it, she can’t swallow this breath in her heart. If she doesn’t accept it, others will say that she only cares about her own face and ignores her daughter. What to say, this wronged one has to swallow it.

Wen Hao Xue received her mother’s eyes, and smiled unsmilingly to pull Wen Man into her room.

However, Wen Man took off her hands and said to everyone, “Thank you for your kindness. But Hao Xue’s clothes are a bit too big for me, I don’t think able to fit me.”

HAHAHAHAHAHAHA——

The first person to laugh out is the youngest and only boy in the Wen family. Unfortunately, it is a grand-children named Wang Shao Han. Thirteen years old this year, studying in the standard five. On weekdays, he is held in the palm of his parents like a little emperor. He has always been heartless. If you want to laugh, you can laugh, and if you want to cry, you say he doesn’t understand his mind, but he is very clever.

When everyone saw it, they also knew what Wang Shao Han was laughing at. Among the few girls, Wen Hao Xue is the plumpest and Wen Man is the slimmest. If it hadn’t been for Zhang Qiu Yan spending a lot of money to buy Wen Hao Xue brand-name shirts, with Wen Hao Xue’s figure, wearing Wen Man’s unbranded uniform clothes would have been even uglier than pigs.

The expressions of Wen Hao Xue and her daughter fell at the same time.

Wen Man didn’t think at all that they could be kind enough to borrow her clothes.  In some ways, her parents are just foolhardy, and her second uncle’s family is cunning like a fox. Wen Man, who had already seen through this, walked from her various eyes to a stool near the balcony, habitually hiding herself in the shadow.

This blind date feast, to put it bluntly, Uncle Wen is looking for so many girls, but to set off his daughter Wen Hao Xue. Other girls, it’s not that they don’t know the thoughts of the second uncle family, but they don’t want to lose the opportunity to fly on the branches and become phoenix. But she Wen Man has self-knowledge. If there were Cinderella and Prince Charming everywhere in this world, it wouldn’t be called Cinderella Fairy tale.

Click — the door opened, Wen Shi Rong was in front, and the two handsome and upright figures behind him firmly attracted the girls’ eyes.

“The second one is obviously more handsome.”

CHAPTER 2 – ONLY THE HANDSOME SHABBY PRINCE

How to turn a hobby or interest into a career?

“If I have a passion I can achieve, it’s probably less a passion and something more akin to a hobby, for any real passion must bigger than my ability to achieve it.”
― Craig D. Lounsbrough

Interest, is it possible to become a career?

Once upon a time, one of my friend called Frendy is hooked on PS, and when he was free from work, he turned on the computer and pondered for himself. Now, in addition to simple keying to change the background, and difficult picture processing, it was a cinch for him.

So, friends all ridiculed: “Your technology is so mature now, just change your career to do art!” Frendy replied solemnly: “Although I am very interested in PS, I am not sure I will like it once I do such a job, and I am not sure how well I can do in the work I am interested in…”

In the profession, many people talk about their interests. Some people say, “Interest is the best teacher, so you have to do what you are interested in.” Some people say, “Interest can never become a profession, it can only be an amateur.” Others said: “I am interested in a lot of things, I like history, psychology, photography, … in addition to my work.” ……

So, can interests and occupations only be taken one? The answer is no. In fact, using your interests as a career can maximize your potential and motivation. If it is said that using interest as a profession will destroy interest, it can only mean that it is not a real interest, but a short-term obsession.

If you like to drink, you can study carefully and strive to become a professional taster;

If you like to tell stories, then try to work hard on the road to becoming a screenwriter;

If you like sushi,then play the spirit of the craftsman and become the god of sushi.

If you like to drink, you can study carefully and strive to become a professional taster;

If you like to tell stories, then try to work hard on the road to becoming a screenwriter;

If you like sushi,then play the spirit of the craftsman and become the god of sushi.

Jiro Ono, born in 1925, is the world’s oldest Michelin three-star sushi chef, and his status in Japan is also quite noble. Throughout his life, he has been making sushi for more than 56 years, so his spirit and skills in sushi are also the first in the world.

Jiro Ono once said, “Once you decide on your occupation…you must immerse yourself in your work.You have to fall in love with your work.Never complain about your job.You must dedicate your life to mastering your skill.That’s the secret of success…and is the key to being regarded honorably.” Such a dedicated, strict, and pursuit of excellence has made a generation of masters.

It can be seen that with your enthusiasm and professional craftsman spirit, interests and hobbies can achieve a career.

Why once you turn your interest into a career, you don’t have interest?

Many people have the urge to develop their interests into careers, but they just stay on impulse, and in the end, they did not make such a choice, just like Frendy. What’s the reason?

Summarized the following four reasons:

“People tend to be generous when sharing their nonsense, fear, and ignorance. And while they seem quite eager to feed you their negativity, please remember that sometimes the diet we need to be on is a spiritual and emotional one. Be cautious with what you feed your mind and soul. Fuel yourself with positivity and let that fuel propel you into positive action.”
― Steve Maraboli

Anxiety due to not meeting the competency requirements

Because most people don’t have many requirements for their interests and hobbies, but after becoming a profession, people’s requirements for this matter will increase. For example, if you like to host, it doesn’t matter if you forget your words on the live broadcast on Yingke, and if you become the anchor of the news network, you will feel powerless and incompetent, and then it is easy to be anxious.

In order to meet the requirements of competency, frustration in the process of raising the level

After anxiety, people began to strive to improve their abilities and strengthen their professional skills. However, it is the same in any field. The closer you are to the top level, the more efforts are required, and the effect of improvement is less obvious. This trend is easy to cause frustration and negative emotions.

After upgrading the level,the return obtained by paying is not up to expectations and the loss is generated

When we experience frustration, we may get better and get a certain income as a result. But people always have a psychological expectation of earnings. If the income brought is less than their own expectations, they will think that they have made their interests and hobbies a career choice and paid a lot, while other people who have a common hobby with themselves have not chosen this career but have earned much more than themselves. In the long run, it is easy to retreat.

Do not want to lose yourself for professional literacy, resulting in depression

Once you put your interests on the path of professionalism, you will be dominated by more other factors, thus losing your autonomy for this interest. Akira Toriyama, the author of “Dragon Ball”, when he drew the section “Defeating the Great Devil”, he felt that the story could end here, but the editor Torishima Kazuhiko came to the door and said that the reader liked it, and it was not allowed to end. Akira Toriyama said that Sun Wukong is already the strongest on earth, how to draw again? Torishima Kazuhiko said: Let him be the strongest in the universe.

In the end, many people said that Dragon Ball’s worldview was inconsistent, and that the Buou war after Shalu was a dog’s tail. But Akira Toriyama himself was helpless, but there was nothing he could do.

If you want to turn your interest into a career, you must overcome the negative emotions brought about by the above four situations.

Below, let’s talk with everyone about how to turn your interest into a career that can make a living.

“If you create and market a product or service through a business that is in alignment with your personality, capitalizes on your history, incorporates your experiences, harnesses your talents, optimizes your strengths, complements your weaknesses, honors your life’s purpose, and moves you towards the conquest of your own fears, there is ABSOLUTELY NO WAY that anyone in this or any other universe can offer the same value that you do!”

By Walt F.J. Goodridge

Find what you really like

To turn your interest into a career, the first thing to do of course is to find what you really like. So, in the end, how can you really like it?

To lose weight, run fitness and practice yoga every day, is this really a favourite thing? Does not count. Because these things have a certain utilitarianism-in order to be thin, it is difficult to stick to it.

And what you really like should be the kind of thing you can’t help but want to do, spending time, energy, money, and thinking about it, and enjoying it. There is a saying in “Slam Dunk Master”: “It is very happy to play basketball, but victory can increase the happiness a hundred times.” When paying attention to the latter sentence, “victory increases happiness”, don’t forget to look at the previous sentence-back to the beginning, whether there is a victory or not, playing basketball itself can make you happy.

When you find your point of interest, you can make unremitting efforts in this direction, thereby cultivating professional nirvana that can support your survival.

If you want to cultivate nirvana, you must clarify your talents and interests, and then invest a lot of time at the intersection of hobbies and strengths. Not everyone succeeds by the same method. Not everything requires a high degree of talent, but it is undeniable that the combination of talent and interest will make our persistence easier and easier to get results.

So, how can we find what we really like?

American writer Stephen P.Robbins put forward five steps for a rational decision-making in the book “Decision Making”. I selected three of the more practical steps, hoping to help everyone clarify their talents and interests:

Determine the only clear goal

For example, you want to be a translator, or a teacher … too many options will greatly consume our self-control and miss opportunities in hesitation repeatedly. Therefore, a clear goal can prevent getting lost in the jungle of choice.

Understand

For example, when someone, who has been with you for many years, cheated again before marriage, you can’t let go of the feelings you have invested for many years and break up with someone. This falls into the trap of the sunk cost paradox. Like this psychology, it is easy for us to go further and further on the wrong path, and blindly adhere to what we neither like nor are good at. In fact, it is wise to stop loss in time.

Control the impact of emotions

Sometimes, we feel anxious because of the pressure of our peers; or we feel irritated because of the urging of our families. This kind of positive or negative emotions will have a great impact on the quality of our decision-making. At this point, what you must do is calm yourself down, distinguish the emotions from the facts, and then analyse them. Think back to your only long-term goal, and maybe you can make a few regretful decisions less.

How to make your interests provide value to others?

As mentioned in the topic of “turning interests into careers”, to make our interests provide value to others, don’t revel in the world of self: how beautiful my interests are, how great my dreams are, and how noble my feelings are … but think about it in turn, what can I do for others, this is the core of interest becoming a means of earning a living.

For example, if you like makeup, you are beautiful, and no one will pay for you, but if you teach others how to become beautiful and how to make up, someone will be willing to pay.

In other words, to turn your interest into a job, you can’t just consume it. You must create, share, and spread it. You must share the experience and skills you have invested time, energy, and money in your interests with your peers and provide them with value.

Many times, the reason why we say we don’t know what our interests are is because we don’t want to admit our interests. Because of some interests, it may not be recognized by society and culture, for example, watching plays, chasing stars, chatting gossip, playing games…but if you like it enough, there is a possibility of becoming a job.

If you want to turn your interest in Korean dramas into a job, you can’t just stay at the level of watching Korean dramas all day long. For example, Miss C, a drama madman, began to write drama reviews to express her concern about the drama, and then tried to write scripts, and finally went to the film and television company to make TV series. At this time, she no longer just followed the plot to cry and laugh at the audience but became the person who created the plot and guided others ‘ emotional ups and downs.

If you like to track star gossip, but just browse and forward such pastime behaviour, you will never make a breakthrough, but if you can open a gossip account, collect, organize, and share gossip information, keep up with hot spots, and research accurately, you will become a creator from a consumer, and creation is much more valuable than consumption.

Similarly, liking games can also become a job. If you just play well on your own, it is of no value to others, but if you can write game raiders, teach others how to play better, and even learn to develop games, things will be different.

One of the keys to turning your interest into a job is that you have to be not afraid to let others know who you are and what you really like.

Of course, after discovering your true self, you can also provide value to others, and you are one step closer to success.

Seize the opportunity

“In case you never get a second chance: don’t be afraid!” “And what if you do get a second chance?” “You take it!”
― C. JoyBell C.

In this day and age, it seems that it takes a little bit to do anything, especially to turn your interest into a career.

I have heard such a story:

There was a girl who was particularly talented in planning. Her freshman year, she became the Deputy Minister of the Ministry of Arts and Culture. She participated in the planning of the college’s orientation party, graduate party, and other large and small activities. In his sophomore year, he began to start an operation planning company with senior seniors. Although this made her an alternative in medical colleges, she always knew what she was going to do.

However, after graduation, she has lost the fierceness of being a newborn calf and not afraid of tigers and has become less confident after seeing more. Once, a company was recruiting talents in this area of market planning. The girl is in a dilemma. She likes the content of planning this post, but she is afraid of being rejected.

After hesitating and struggling all night, she finally decided to challenge her the next day. As a result, the same night that the resume was submitted, the headquarters replied to her. The other party asked her a few questions on the phone, and she answered very appropriately. Although she has not yet received a clear answer, the other party has the intention of throwing an olive branch to her.

If you hesitate anymore, the opportunity will pass. It can be said that hard work will not necessarily succeed, but hesitation and retreat will not succeed. Wang Anshi once said: “The magnificent, weird, and extraordinary view of the world often lies in peril, and people are rare, so people who have no ambitions can’t come.” You can’t see the scenery you want without firm determination.

Admittedly, opportunities are indeed very important, the so-called “plan things in people, do things in heaven”. But opportunities are often accidental and uncontrollable. To seize the opportunity, we need to be fully prepared, for example, to lay a solid foundation and reserve knowledge, etc., and these are precisely what we can control.

The fool misses the opportunity, the wise seize the opportunity, the successful create the opportunity, and the opportunity is only given to those who are prepared. So, how do we be a prepared person? This is what we are going to say next-to enhance strength and enhance professional skills.

Improve professional skills,from amateur enthusiasts to professionals

I believes that if you want to change from amateur to professional, you should complete at least the following 4 steps:

Learn to improve yourself step by step

“Never stop just because you feel defeated. The journey to the other side is attainable only after great suffering.”
― Santosh Kalwar ― 

Peter Drucker’s Theory of Management, put forward a Smart goal management principle, where the letter A represents “Attainable, that is, the achievability of the goal. For example, the interest in sales makes you an employee in the insurance industry, and your goal is to earn 1 million in a year! Then you must settle an account:

According to the commission ratio, a commission of 1 million will probably have to do 3 million performances. Then it will cost 250,000 a month, and MYR 8,300 a day. In other words, to complete the performance of MYR 8,300, it takes about 50 people to visit every day, and on average, a customer must talk for at least 20 minutes, and 50 customers need more than 16 hours, which is not counting the road time. Can you do it?

Therefore, the goal cannot be imagined out of thin air, but needs to be set by a plan that can be achieved. In other words, you can’t think about things from 100 to 1000 at the stage of going from 0 to 1.

Enough focus

“Focus on your strengths, not your weaknesses.
Focus on your character, not your reputation.
Focus on your blessings, not your misfortunes.”
― Roy T. Bennett

Concentration is to gather all your time, mind, physical strength, wisdom, and thoughts on one thing day after day, year after year, and persevere. This is also what the law of specialization wants to tell us: only if you are specialized in a field can you develop. So, no matter what industry you do, you must aim at being the top of the industry. Only when you can specialize will you grow up to be outstanding.

Malie Kondo, a famous finishing consultant in Japan, began reading housewives’ magazines from kindergarten to the third grade of junior high school. When she was 19 years old, she set up her own consulting company to provide finishing solutions for customers who need to organize their office and living environments. In 2010, Malie Kondo wrote a book about her experience in tidying up her room. Once published, it was translated into many languages and became popular all over the world.

Just because she does housework, she is sought after by the world. It is because Kondo specializes in storage that she has done an ordinary but necessary thing to the extreme, solving the problems of housewives around the world.

Repeated and productive efforts

“Becoming an influential personality at work is much more important than becoming a hardworking person!”
― Abhishek Ratna

They all say that everyone is equal in front of the work face, but the one who eventually succeeds will never have to work hard behind them. Take actress Sun Li,her several hit dramas “Zhen Huan Biography”, “Hot Mom Biography”, and “Mi Yue Biography” all made her a hot topic for the audience. The key factor lies in her hard-working attitude to life:

When “Zhen Huan Chuan” hit the air, director Zheng Xiaolong once said: “In the filming process of “Zhen Huan Chuan” for more than 4 months, she never had a complete meal with Sun Li. Everyone ate together. She always left halfway through eating and went back to recite her lines.”

When filming “Hot Mom Biography”, Sun Li said in an interview that she really spent three years studying the script, lines, and performance of the play.

When it came to “Mi Yue Biography”, members of her family revealed on Weibo that Sun Li was frantically memorizing her lines and the news of the play at home before filming.

There is a famous “repetition law” that also reveals this truth: any behaviour and thinking, if you continue to repeat, it will continue to strengthen, and finally enter a person’s subconscious, and become a fact, the so-called practice makes perfect. The military parade on September 3 last year was a good example. It is said that the troops participating in the exercise started training for 10 hours a day as early as January, and finally achieved the wonderful performance of the military parade troops.

Seeing this, should I review it well? The “I have worked hard” that I often talk about may be just a flash, or is it just a verbal expression, just a flash in my heart, turning around but throwing it away again?

Summary

A lot of things to play amateur, we will find it very interesting, but when we think of it as a profession, we will feel that we can’t do it anymore. Because for interests and hobbies, people usually only spend 20% of their energy, they can achieve 60% of their achievements, and it is easy to obtain satisfaction and a sense of accomplishment; but if they develop their interests into careers, they may have to spend 120% of their energy to achieve 80% of their achievements at the professional level.

Therefore, to turn our interest into a career, we need to make up our minds to do the following steps:

Do these four points, basically, you can turn your interest into a career.

“My goals may seem impossibly far-fetched when really they’re not.

Break them down into steps and see how I accomplish great things.

I can easily reach from A to B.

I can manage from B to C.

I can then make it from C to D.

And so eventually, I will find my way from A to Z.”

By Richelle E. Goodrich

What is the difference between a job and a career?

To be a successful employee, you must understand the difference between a job and a career. Every human being has their own skills.

Some apply the skills acquired by asking for jobs that offer them positions that match their strengths. There are also those who continue to work even though they are not very interested in the work being done.

The best thing for an employee is to do the job they are interested in without feeling compelled. If this is the case, they will work under stress and discomfort.

A person usually holds several jobs in their career. It is usually easier to change jobs in the same field of work that defines a career. However, changing careers is more difficult and may require people to start down the ladder in a new career.

What is career?

“Career” is defined as occupation or profession, esp. someone who needs special training, followed by someone’s daily job. A person’s progress or general action through life or through phases of life, as in some profession or occupation

What is job?

“Job” is defined as a piece of work, esp. specific tasks performed as part of one’s work routine or for an agreed price. It could be job positions in full -time or part -time positions, anything that is expected or required to be done; on duty; responsibility. It is usually considered related to remunerative employment (and sometimes even formal education).

An occupation is defined as anything that is expected or obligated by a person; a piece of work, especially a specific activity performed as part of one’s work routine or for an agreed price. Through employment one can obtain basic assistance and that of his family or friends. Employment can also be seen as a contract between an employer and an employee. In a commercial enterprise, the basic purpose of employment is to create a profit for the employer, and the employee contributes labor to the enterprise, in return for payment of wages, or stock options.

comparison chart for CAREER VS. JOB

5 DIFFERENCES BETWEEN WORK & CAREER

MOST OF THE WORK IS BORING

When you work for something you don’t like, you’ll spend a lot of time looking at the clock, counting the seconds of time that go by until your work hours end. A very noticeable difference is when you work in a field that you are really interested in.

When you take the time to work on what you are really good at, you will not realize as if time is running so fast. Because it is something you are interested in, you will try to improve the performance of yourself and the company.

The difference between work and career, work makes you feel bored quickly and always feel sleepy. Meanwhile, a career gives you a sense of happiness so that all your work will be produced perfectly and wholeheartedly.

FOR A LONG PERIOD

Have you ever asked yourself, do you work for a short period of time or for a long period of time?

If you choose to work in the long run, you will think about a lot of things. Where it will have an impact in the future. You need to plan and think about how the skills and interests you have will help the company as well as yourself to move forward.

The difference between a job and a career is that when you only work for a short period of time, the motivation to produce good work is hard to fully attain. However, it will be better if you have a plan to continue your job for a long time when you are already comfortable with the job you are doing.

ADDING EXPERIENCE

The difference between work and career is that career-minded people will not care about money, instead they care about the experience they can get from more experienced employees.

They are willing to learn new things to improve their work performance. But, if you are a person who works just to supplement your monthly money, you are among the losers. This is because, even if you are a good employee, your knowledge will only be at the same level. Compared to people who always exchange knowledge with other colleagues.

This diligent nature of asking will help them in improving and enhancing their skills in doing their job in the days to come.

MONDAY BLUES

“Invest just 10% of your earnings in ‘your own’ handpicked stocks …. You’ll realise that you have beaten ‘Monday Blues’ for the life. ”

By Sandeep Sahajpal

Ahh Monday morning. Certainly not everyone’s favourite day, but not to the workers who love the work they do. When you do work that really suits your interests, you will feel excited to start work every morning and make your week productive and more effective.

Unlike when you’re just at work but don’t like the job you’re doing, you’ll feel like your weekend break isn’t enough and you’re most lazy to start the day every time a Monday morning arrives.

IMPROVE SELF PERFORMANCE

When you are in a work situation that you don’t like, you will spend a lot of time looking for opportunities to change to a new job. Job hunting is very tiring and hard to find in a short time.

If you are looking for a new job while you are still working in the old company, you will steal time while working to find vacancies in other companies, which is a bad deed. Unlike when you are in an organization you love, you will spend time and energy in developing your own reputation, building more networks, and have strong goals to improve the skills you have.

What you see through the difference between work and career is not a problem. However, the admin recommends you all to research and understand yourself first and find out where exactly your self -skills are located. You don’t have to force yourself to do something you don’t like. Remember that this life is only once, never waste it while your heart is still beating.

How to work efficiently and not work overtime at home?

The survey shows that 50% of people who work from home because of the epidemic are out of balance between work and life due to increased workload and time. Are you one of them? How can I adapt to and manage the new routine of Where are 10 suggestions?

Feudal countries and restrictions on movement around the world make most people start work from home (WFH), and some people are happy while others face many difficulties. People who have children at home and need to take care of work and family face greater pressure. Being unable to go out, an unknown future, worrying about the health of your family, worrying about losing your job, etc. are all sources of stress.

One of the many effects of the sudden change is that when not in the office, people need to be seen as contributing to the company, having a productive and beneficial feeling about their work. If you don’t do more and take longer, there will be a feeling of guilt, which also leads to people’s reluctance to leave the computer and work overtime. Yesterday, I saw my friend with a tired face and said: I really want to go back to work in the office. It’s just a dinner (and it’s 9pm to have time for dinner), and she has as many as 90 unread work messages!

How to adapt and manage the efficiency when working at home, while considering the personal physical and mental health? Experts make 10 suggestions:

Set boundaries

If there is enough space, please arrange a place dedicated to work at home and clearly explain the start and end of “office hours” with your family. Making notes on the work calendar with colleagues will also help promote a healthy work pattern in the team. Such measures will help to distinguish between the “work” and “family” parts of life. Similarly, this can also effectively prevent you from losing your focus at work. For people with children, it is particularly tricky to stay focused when working at home. You can consider arranging time with other family members to take turns taking care of the children.

Focus only on what really matters (in the moment) every day

You must clearly know what important matters and tasks you should pay attention to. At the beginning of each working day, decide which main tasks to perform first. Focus on these and communicate with your team, and encourage your colleagues to do the same, which will ensure that all of you work together for the same goal and focus on the right things. This will also help improve work efficiency, allowing you to get a greater sense of accomplishment at the end of the day, and more likely to “get out of work” and enjoy the night.

If necessary, say “No” to the job/task

In this rapidly changing era, the focus of work is changing almost every day. Therefore, you need to have the confidence and belief to say no to tasks that will not help you or the company achieve what is important at present. People who habitually overwork are usually considered “likable people”. In contrast, facing is not a priority now, you need to learn the skills of “SAY NO”. If you must need to perform one or two additional tasks, please try to do what you can do during the original working hours, while providing some solutions.

Let the people who live with you know the situation clearly

If you live with people who work different working hours, such as people who still need to go out to work during administration, or who don’t need to work at all now, misunderstandings can easily arise between them. Working from home does not mean that you can buy things for your family and chat with your roommates at any time. Therefore, let the people who live with you know your work and time, not only make you more responsible, but also let them respect your time.

Reduce interference at work

If the epidemic forces you to work from home for the first time, or if you have never completed your work in a “NINE TO FIVE” way, social media or notifications can easily be distracting. Understand that freeing up your energy to focus on one thing will be able to do better. Therefore, it is best to move your phone away from your desk, turn off computer-independent notifications, or delete apps that may be particularly distracting, rather than relying only on “WILLPOWER” to focus on work. You don’t want to complete only four or five hours of work in an eight-hour working day, so you must spend a few days of extra time to catch up.

Arrange lunch break

And don’t eat at your desk! If you can, please eat away from your desk, or go outdoors (balcony or own garden) to breathe fresh air. This will ensure that your lunch break feels like a real break, which will make you more motivated when you resume work in the afternoon.

After the end of the working day:

Close the door of the home office

Or put away the computer. Just saying that working hours are from 9 to 5 is not enough, at 5 o’clock in the afternoon, you must leave work and don’t go back until the next morning! Try not to mix family life with work. For many people, “doing a little work” late at night may be harmless. But this may be at the expense of destroying the quality of sleep, consuming more energy the next day, and may also reduce work efficiency.

Turn off and put away the working device

If you can’t do this, at least limit yourself to checking work emails only once or twice at night and log out Skype or other work information software. Use a personal laptop (if any) to handle personal things, such as online shopping, etc.

Do something for yourself

Making your mind understand that you have been working non-stop is the key. You can exercise or cook, in short, is any healthy thing you can do in a different environment from the work environment. Continuing to do this every day will let your brain know that the working day is over, and it is easier to distinguish between work and life.

Focus on positive and positive factors

We may have avoided paying too much attention to negative messages on social media because of working for a long time! Similarly, please try to focus on the positive factors in your life and things to be grateful for. In addition, think about things that you didn’t have time to do at home before, and spend as much time with your family as possible. In fact, we can always do something to distract ourselves and use our time in a healthy and productive way, rather than just browsing social media and feeling anxious due to terrible headlines or overwork.

“When you play, play hard;

when you work, don’t play at all.”

By Theodore Roosevelt
I hope you don’t let overwork damage your health at this difficult time. It is important to stay visionary and let go of those unrealistic expectations that you “THINK” your boss has for you. Then, using the above simple but strict measures, you will be able to better protect yourself from the dangerous consequences of overwork.

What is Home office? What are the advantages and disadvantages?

What is Home office?

Nowadays, there are more and more cases of home office. So, what exactly is home office? Home office refers to an office mode in which office workers handle office affairs based on the Internet at home under certain circumstances. It can also be called the SOHO family. These people are mainly a specific way of working formed under the development of modern communication methods. Everyone can handle company affairs in their own homes and connect to the Internet. No need to get up early to catch a car, go to the company to punch in and sign in, and even wear pyjamas in their living room to handle the work.

This home office is related to the situation experienced by most workers during the epidemic. It is also known as remote work, remote work, homework, etc. During the epidemic, COVID-19 affected many industries, but communicating through the Internet made people think that tasks that could only be completed in the office in the past can now be completed at home, improving the office efficiency of enterprises during the epidemic, which is the advantage of home office.

Over time, we have some thinking about home office, that is, when the epidemic is over and everything returns to stability again, should we continue to work at home? Can home office be applied to all types of work? There are still many such problems. In this article, we will delve into its pros and cons, and give some examples of home office, as well as how to correctly face home office in future work.

Advantages of Home Office:

Provide more time for production work

Home office allows people to eliminate or reduce commuting time and will have more time and energy to devote to work. If the home office is properly arranged, it can also reduce the interference that is usually encountered in the office, such as colleagues making loud calls, ringing phones, unknown odours, and unnecessarily strict policies. Home office makes workers less distracted by reducing chores, will be able to focus more on what they are doing, and get the job done quickly.

Better work-life balance

Studies have shown that work that can balance working hours with life well will improve employees’ satisfaction with work. It goes without saying that when you feel better about your work, you will be more motivated to do your work, which is also better for your mental state and physical health.

Save money

Because you don’t have to leave home, you can save a lot of costs. These include the cost of commuting, clothing costs, expensive takeaway costs or the cost of going to a restaurant.

Higher employee retention

You heard right, people who work from home are more likely to stay in the company rather than leave. Of course, the company can also give employees the right to work in the office, so that employees get more choices and higher freedom. As a result, working at home improves work and life satisfaction, making the employee turnover rate lower, and when employees don’t often leave the company, employers will also save the cost of hiring and training new employees.

If your office content wants to show a lot of information to customers, then you can build a personal website to work from home.

Disadvantages of Home Office:

Procrastination

One of the main reasons the company allows employees to work from home is to reduce their time in traffic. However, when working from home, you may not schedule your time correctly because of the lack of company management, so that you may overestimate the time you have by procrastinating while working. So, plan your every day, do the task at hand, and avoid procrastination.

Burnout

Sometimes we do a lot of work, but when there is no boundary between work responsibilities and housework, employees’ risk being more exhausted. This is because you feel that things are too complicated and cause too much pressure, but you still need to sit in front of the computer and work all day. In addition, you may also have some burnout symptoms including headache, irritability, increased errors, and reduced efficiency.

Collaboration is more difficult

Home office will be very difficult in terms of collaboration, but if you have the tools you need to communicate effectively with the team, this difficulty will be greatly reduced, such as the team collaboration function of the “online” website building system. Several other reasons why homework makes collaboration more difficult include unstable Internet connections, different time zones, and technical problems.

Loneliness

Sometimes, working side by side with colleagues makes work more interesting. One of the main factors to promote employee engagement and satisfaction is to maintain friendship with colleagues. In fact, a study has shown that loneliness affects employees’ performance, and maintaining a positive social communication relationship can alleviate loneliness in the workplace.

Although there are many shortcomings, in some industries, these shortcomings can be avoided, so the number of companies using home office has been steadily increasing, especially on the Internet, digital marketing, education and other industries.

Not only that, many freelancers today, such as illustrators, net celebrities, designers, writers, media big V, etc., are the way to work at home. Many of these home-working people have established their own personal websites to attract fans and customers. If you also want to use this way of office, then you can use the “online” website building platform to build your own personal website, choose a template and then replace the pictures and text content, and add the required functional sections!

Warm reminder:

Do not go out as much as possible, stay at home, for yourself and for everyone’s health. As for those who must walk outside, we must do a good job of protective measures, wear a mask to go out, wash hands frequently, drink more water, and ensure that the environmental space is ventilated.

About abortion

What is AN abortion?

Abortion is also called interruption of pregnancy or induced abortion, which leads to the death of the fetus. Doing a similar procedure when the embryo or fetus can survive on its own is medically called “late termination of pregnancy” (LTOP) or late-term abortion. The naturally occurring phenomenon of aborting pregnancy is usually called miscarriage. In many countries, abortion is controversial, mainly about morality, women’s physical rights, and infant life rights.

Historical records

In 1550 BC, the oldest known medical book in the world, “THE PAPYRUS EBER”, left the earliest records of abortion in ancient Egypt. For example, Islam believes that the soul enters the body on the 40th day, and Buddhism believes that if the reincarnation of God consciousness is alive, and without the reincarnation of God consciousness, there will be no pregnancy at all. Chinese Confucianism talks more about life issues and less about them. Taoism believes that in this life, widows and poor have no children, because abortion hurts the child to get this retribution. The conclusion of modern science is very clear: human life begins at the time of conception. This is a scientific fact, not philosophy, speculation, opinion, conjecture, or theory. Today, life begins at the time of conception, which is a proven fact. No rationally honest and knowledgeable scientist or doctor can deny this.

Cause / Reason

There are many reasons why women choose to have an abortion. It may be for birth control, or a woman cannot afford to become pregnant because of her physical condition, or because the fetus is diagnosed with deformity or congenital disease, resulting in both parents not wanting to give birth to a defective fetus, etc. There are also examples of wanting to abort pregnancy due to changes in feelings with the fetus’s biological father. According to statistics made by the Alan Guttmacher Institute in the United States in 2000, a total of 1.31 million abortions were performed in the United States in 2000, of which 1% were related to pregnancy due to rape or incest.

Some countries require specific conditions and certificates to legally have an abortion, such as:

  1. Safety of pregnant women: Continued pregnancy endangers the life or health of pregnant women
  2. Fetal life or health: the fetus is physically mutilated or impaired in health, unable to survive, unable to be born, and has a genetic disease
  3. Pregnancy background: Rape or incest
  4. Identity: Pregnant woman, minor or single
  5. Economy: Pregnancy will force or suspend a woman’s work or studies and can’t afford the money and time to raise children
  6. Feelings: Feelings with the fetus’s biological father have changed
  7. Family: Family objection (husband or parent)
  8. Birth Control: Do not want to have children or China’s one-child policy

Remarks:The above conditions may require a police or doctor’s certificate.

Genetic Diseases

Genetic diseases can be detected by prenatal examination, such as ultrasound examination, amniotic fluid test, blood test, etc. Common genetic diseases are Down syndrome, anencephaly, and Zika virus.

The following are abortion reports made from 27 different countries, arranged as follows by the level of reasons:

  • 27.6% – want to delay raising children
  • 21.3% – can’t afford the money to raise children
  • 14.1% – feelings with the fetus’s biological father have changed
  • 12.2% – Pregnant women are too young to abort pregnancy at the will of parents or others
  • 10.8% – Pregnancy will cause a woman’s work or studies to be forcibly suspended
  • 7.9% – Don’t want to get pregnant again
  • 3.3% – the fetus is physically disabled or has health problems
  • 2.8% – Continued pregnancy is detrimental to the health of pregnant women

Feminism

Abortion has always been an important issue in feminism related to women’s reproductive rights and freedoms. There are so-called pro-choice and pro-life debates.

Many feminists claim that whether to continue pregnancy is a woman’s physical right and a basic human right. Whether or not to choose an abortion after pregnancy should also be decided by the woman herself based on physical condition, economic situation, lifestyle, and other factors, after consultation with family and friends, refusing to be intervened by the state to enact laws, and opposing excessive participation by parents or husbands. In addition, those who support the right to choose abortion also point out that a total ban on abortion will only cause more illegal abortions to occur; safe and legal abortion, strengthening sex education, contraception and birth control can effectively reduce the number of abortions.

Carol Gilligan, a controversial feminist psychologist, questioned that starting with the abstract concepts of “choice” and “life” (rights or justice) is an ethics that pulls away from the female experience. In her book “In a Different Voice”, she reported and analysed the interviews of 29 women aged 15-33, of different races and backgrounds twice, hoping to learn how women deal with the moral situation of pregnancy or abortion. Gilligan’s research believes that women define morality as the obligation to realize care and avoid harm, which contrasts strongly with abstract “formal logic”. For Gilligan, women’s hesitation in judging moral issues is not based on a lack of ability to think about abstract rights and justice but is based on an understanding of the complexity of reality.

Gilligan criticized Kohlberg’s Theory of Moral Development and the theory that Justice and rights are considered at the highest stage of moral development. Gilligan noticed that the subjects of Kohlberg’s research were white men and boys. She believed that Kohlberg’s research on moral development excluded women’s experience. In her research on female abortion, she studied women’s consideration and value in moral judgment with care, relationship, and connection.

In a focus group study of Swedish women discussing abortion, some participants believed that the choice of abortion was a woman’s right (Right in a situation of helplessness, Ekstran, Essen & Tyde’n, 2005), perhaps this description just illustrates the contradictory situation of women in the ethical choice of abortion, and helps explain Gilligan’s emphasis on the importance of “care” in thinking about “rights” .

Forms of abortion

The history of abortion is quite long. Many methods of abortion have been circulating since ancient times, including herbal medicine, the use of sharp tools, artificial trauma, and other traditional methods.

Modern medicine uses drugs or surgery to induce abortion. In the first trimester (the first three months of pregnancy), there are two drugs that are as effective as surgery, namely RU486 and prostaglandin. In the second pregnancy (third to sixth months of pregnancy), although the use of drugs can still effectively lead to miscarriage, the risk of sequelae caused using surgery is lower. You can start using compound oral contraceptives and uterine contraceptives immediately after abortion.

After years of development and evolution, the main forms of abortion are: artificial abortion (negative pressure aspiration) and medical abortion.

artificial abortion (negative pressure aspiration)

Most abortions are carried out within the first twelve weeks of pregnancy. The fetus is still very small and can be sucked out with a powerful suction device, which is 25 times more powerful than an ordinary household vacuum cleaner. This method is called suction curettage (vacuum curettage). The power of the suction device tears or twists the fetus’s body, tearing the limbs’ part by part until only the head is left. The head of the fetus is too large to pass through the straw, so the person who has an abortion needs to insert pliers into the uterus, grab the separately floating head, and then crush it until it can pass through the straw, then the head will be removed.

suction curettage (vacuum curettage)

  1. Amniotic membrane
  2. Fetus
  3. Endometrium
  4. Expander
  5. Suction pipe
  6. Connect to the vacuum pump

medical abortion.

In the early stages of pregnancy, the use of drugs to disturb the endocrine system of pregnant women, secrete various hormones that are not suitable for embryo survival, stimulate abnormal reproductive system, change the embryonic development environment, resulting in outflow after the death of the embryo.

There is also a name for anti-early pregnancy drugs called “anti-menstrual anti-pregnancy drugs”. It can also be seen that the developer’s well-intentioned efforts-women with a history of sex may become pregnant if their menstruation does not come for more than a few days. At this time, while it is “not stable”, take medication immediately to urge menstrual cramps, so as to achieve the purpose of terminating pregnancy.

RU-486 administration: There is a 95% success rate in the first 50 days of pregnancy.This method must be under the guidance of a doctor to ensure safety. Do not administer drugs on your own to give birth.

Other methods

saline method

Another method of abortion is Saline method, which is the salt poison method, which is used in the fourth to seventh months of pregnancy and is the most used method in the 1970s.This operation uses a three-and-a-half-inch to four-inch needle inserted from the mother’s abdominal wall into the amniotic sac, extracting 200mm of amniotic fluid, and then replacing it with a strength of concentrated saline. In this procedure, the fetus swallows the salt and “breathes” in the salt. Basically, the skin of the fetus’s whole body is burned by salt and slowly poisoned to death, so the mother begins to give birth and discharges a dead, burned and withered baby. Some babies survived this procedure and were born with serious complications, because in the process, the baby’s tissues and organs were destroyed by bleeding, arteries and veins ruptured and left huge bruises on the body.

Stimulated with prostaglandin method

Stimulated with prostaglandin: prostaglandin contains some hormonal compounds. When injected or used in the uterine muscles, it can damage the blood circulation of the fetus, contract violently, and then be discharged. Because prostaglandins are not directly toxic to unborn fetuses, such abortion methods produce more fetuses born due to failed fetuses than saline methods. The failure of the abortion makes medical workers and other personnel very troublesome, especially the mother: the baby struggles for survival, breathless, and tics everywhere.

hysterectomy method

There is also a method called hysterectomy, which is used during six to eight months of pregnancy. There is only one difference between this method and Caesarean section. The whole operation is to terminate the survival of the baby, not to maintain the survival of the baby. This operation is to cut the stomach, straight into the uterus, remove the baby, do not take care of the baby, let the baby die, or strangle the baby early in the mother’s body (the baby cannot be strangled outside the uterus). Once the baby is outside the womb, it cannot be killed, otherwise the doctor will commit murder.

Menstrual rule surgery

Within six weeks of pregnancy. Use a thin plastic tube to extend into the uterine cavity and use a large syringe of 100 ml to produce a negative pressure to suck out the endometrium. Even if you may be pregnant, you can suck out embryos in the early stages of pregnancy because the intima has been destroyed and you can’t implantation.

Dilation and curettage (D&C)

Dilation and curettage (D&C) is a procedure to remove tissue from inside your uterus. Doctors perform dilation and curettage to diagnose and treat certain uterine conditions:-

  • such as heavy bleeding
  • or to clear the uterine lining after a miscarriage or abortion.

Dilation and Evacuation (D&E)

Dilation and evacuation (D&E) is done in the second 12 weeks (second trimester) of pregnancy. It usually includes a combination of vacuum aspirationdilation and curettage (D&C), and the use of surgical instruments (such as forceps).

Induction: (second trimester)

Labor induction in the second trimester is stimulation of uterine contractions to expel the fetus and placenta using medical agents; misoprostol is most commonly used in the United States. Misoprostol dosing for labor induction varies by trimester.

SAFETY

The health risks of abortion depend on whether the procedure is safe or not. The World Health Organization (WHO) defines unsafe abortion as an abortion procedure performed by “people who are not professionally trained, harmful equipment, and unsanitary facilities”.

In developed countries, legal abortion is one of the safest procedures in medicine. Only 0.7 abortions per 100,000 in the United States lead to the death of the client; its mortality rate is 13 times lower than that of pregnant women giving birth (8.8 deaths per 100,000 births). Between 2000 and 2009, the mortality rate of abortion in the United States was lower than that of plastic surgery in the local area.

The risk of death associated with abortion increases with pregnancy, but it is still lower than childbirth cases with more than 21 weeks of pregnancy. During the 64-70 days of pregnancy, the safety and effectiveness of outpatient abortion are the same as those carried out at 57-63 days. When the pregnancy period is less than 6 weeks, drug-induced abortion is safe and effective. In developed countries, safe and legal abortion has been achieved through medicine for many years. Simple abortion does not cause long-term mental health or physical problems.

The World Health Organization (WHO) advocates that woman all over the world should enjoy the same good safe and legal abortion. Having said that, unsafe abortions still occur worldwide every year, still causing about 47,000 maternal deaths and about 5 million maternal hospitalizations.

info update by world health organIZATION (who) – 25TH SEPTEMBER 2020

  • Between 2015 and 2019, on average, 73.3 million induced (safe and unsafe) abortions occurred worldwide each year.
  • There were 39 induced abortions per 1000 women aged between 15–49 years.
  • 3 out of 10 (29%) of all pregnancies, and 6 out of 10 (61%) of all unintended pregnancies, ended in an induced abortion.
  • Among these, 1 out of 3 were carried out in the least safe or dangerous conditions.
  • Over half of all estimated unsafe abortions globally were in Asia, most of them in south and central Asia.
  • 3 out of 4 abortions that occurred in Africa and Latin America were unsafe.
  • The risk of dying from an unsafe abortion was the highest in Africa.
  • Each year between 4.7% – 13.2% of maternal deaths can be attributed to unsafe abortion .
  • Estimates from 2010 to 2014 showed that around 45% of all abortions were unsafe. Almost all of these unsafe abortions took place in developing countries.
  • Around 7 million women are admitted to hospitals every year in developing countries, as a result of unsafe abortion.
  • The annual cost of treating major complications from unsafe abortion is estimated at USD 553 million.
  • Abortions are safe when they are carried out by a person with the necessary skills, using a WHO recommended method appropriate to the pregnancy duration.
  • Almost every abortion death and disability could be prevented through sexuality education, use of effective contraception, provision of safe, legal induced abortion, and timely care for complications.

Precautions

Before abortion:-

  1. You need to take a shower and change clean underwear the night before the abortion.
  2. Dress as loose as possible, easy to wear and take off (bring your own sanitary napkins or toilet paper).
  3. Sex should be avoided within a week before abortion.
  4. If it is a painless abortion surgery, fasting and water are required for about six hours before surgery.
  5. When the body temperature exceeds 37.5℃, surgery should be carried out another day.
  6. Cooperate closely with the doctor during surgery and don’t be too nervous.
  7. Patients need to take cervical softening drugs as directed by the doctor before surgery.
  8. If the patient encounters the following conditions, he is temporarily not suitable for painless human abortion
    • Suffering from inflammation of sexual reproductive organs (such as vaginitis, urethritis, severe cervical erosion, pelvic inflammation, etc.);
    • Acidosis caused by severe vomiting during pregnancy has not been treated.

Diet

Food suitable for eating: eggs, meat, soy products and other nutritious, easy to digest food.
Foods not suitable for eating: crabs, snails, radishes and other foods that stimulate blood circulation and promote uterine contraction.

Check

Pre-abortion examination After an unexpected pregnancy person goes to the hospital, the doctor first asks him to do a gynaecological examination. For the flow of people, these preoperative examinations are very necessary. Female friends must not try to save money and avoid the examination intentionally. Pre-flow inspection mainly includes the following:

Early Pregnancy Test Strip Test (HCG)

From the 7th day of pregnancy, a specific hormone-human chorionic gonadotropin (HCG) can be measured in the urine of pregnant women. It is usually checked by urine pregnancy tests carried out in hospitals.

B Ultrasound Scan

Check whether you can see the fetal sac and determine the size of the fetal sac.

Vaginal discharge routine

Understand whether there are trichomonas and mold in the vagina, and chlamydia, mycoplasma, and gonococcus should be checked if necessary. If the above microorganisms are present, it is easy to cause upstream infection, affect embryonic development, and induce abortion.

Inflammation Check

See if there is inflammation, and if symptoms of inflammation are found, further examination and treatment are required.

blood test

Check for infectious diseases.

ECG, liver function and other tests

so that special treatment is required during the operation.

Only when all the above examination results come out and the conditions are in line with the surgical conditions can painless human abortion be performed. This is not only the doctor’s responsibility to the patient, but also the patient’s own attitude of loving and cherishing himself.

After Abortion

Sex is prohibited:

Do not have sex within one month after abortion. Some people bleed for a long time after abortion, some people for a short time, and some people sometimes don’t bleed. In either case, it is forbidden to have sex before going through it. Because the cervical mouth is in a relaxed state during abortion, the effect of preventing bacteria from entering the uterine cavity is weakened. During sex, the bacteria hidden in the male foreskin and the bacteria in the female vulva, vagina and cervix can take the opportunity to infect the uterine cavity; at the same time, the blood sinus is open after the exfoliation of the embryonic tissue, which is easy to be infected by bacteria.

Pay attention to rest:

After abortion, you should rest in bed for 2~3 days. You can get out of bed later and gradually increase the activity time. Do not engage in heavy manual labour during the second half of the abortion and avoid contact with cold water. After abortion, the uterus needs about a month to recover.

Keep the vulva clean and hygienic:

The uterine mouth has not been closed after abortion, and the endometrium also has a repair process. During this time, special attention should be paid to keep the vulva clean and hygienic. Do not bathe in the second half of the operation to avoid unclean water entering the vagina, leading to bacterial invasion and infection.

Diet attention, strengthen nutrition:

First, to ensure the supply of high-quality protein, adequate vitamins and inorganic salts, especially should be supplemented with enough iron to prevent the occurrence of anemia. Food selection should not only pay attention to nutrition, but also be easy to digest and absorb. Do not eat or eat less greasy and cold food, should not eat radish, hawthorn, bitter melon, orange and other qi, blood circulation, cold food. Eat more food that is easy to digest in order to speed up the body’s recovery.

Adhere to contraception:

If you do not insist on doing contraception well, you will soon become pregnant again. Some women become pregnant again the month they have an abortion, which has a greater impact on the body. Therefore, reliable contraceptive measures should be selected. Abortion can only be used as a remedial surgery that must be taken as a last resort after the failure of contraception. Abortion should not be used as a measure of contraception and birth control to protect women’s mental and physical health.

Major Hazards

The hazards of abortion are mainly manifested in the following points:

  1. It may lead to menstrual disorders, a small number of patients have irregular menstrual cycles, prolonged menstruation, and more patients have increased menstrual flow after abortion.
  2. It may cause adhesions of the cervix or uterine cavity, which can cause hemorrhage in the uterine cavity.
  3. May cause infection in the uterine cavity.
  4. It may lead to habitual miscarriage in the future, the more the number of abortions, the greater the possibility of miscarriage.
  5. May cause lifelong infertility.
  6. Uterine perforation: the larger the number of weeks of pregnancy, the higher the risk; the more miscarriages, the greater the chance of perforation. Other uterus such as abnormal uterine position, shape or previous surgery (such as caesarean section or fibroid resection)have a greater chance of perforation.
  7. Cervical or endometrial morosity: If the doctor’s technique is too rude during an artificial abortion, it is likely to cause injury and inflammation of the cervix or endometrium, which may result in postoperative cervical or endometrial mucus, and can cause menstrual abnormalities, such as no menstruation or too little menstruation. In severe cases, infertility will occur in the future
  8. Cervical injury: In the process of human flow, if you are not careful, the expansion of the cervix mouth is too fast, which may cause damage to the cervix, and cause later pregnancies to be more prone to miscarriage, especially women who are pregnant for the first time or have not yet given birth are more prone to miscarriage.
  9. Incomplete abortion: If the operation is incomplete, a small amount of fetal tissue remains in the uterus, which may affect the contraction of the uterus and cause continuous bleeding or sticky, infection and other conditions. It is best to do another surgery carefully to remove the remaining tissue. The position or shape of the uterus is not normal, and it is generally more likely to cause postpartum syndrome.
  10. Bacterial infection: If the disinfection of the instrument is not complete, or the surgeon himself does not pay attention to the sterile process, it may cause infection in the uterus, and even continue to infect the fallopian tubes and pelvic cavity. In severe cases, it will cause the consequences of easy ectopic pregnancy or infertility in the future.

Psychological Effects

Abortion can cause people to feel guilty, suicidal impulses, retreat, regret and remorse, loss of self-confidence, lower self-esteem, hostile anger, despair and helplessness, hatred of people related to abortion, end the relationship with their partners, loss of libido, inability to forgive themselves, and cause nightmares and other psychological disorders.

Social concepts and legal regulations

Abortion is a controversial behaviour in most countries around the world (especially Western countries). Opinions on both positive and negative aspects are very hotly debated, mainly on moral ethics, religion, women’s physical health and reproductive rights.

On the moral side, opponents believe that the life of the fetus belongs to the fetus, so others cannot arbitrarily deprive the fetus of its right to survive; on the religious side, the traditional teachings of the Abrahamic religion, dominated by Christianity, Islam and Judaism, believe that life is given by God, so only God has the right to retrieve life, not human beings. This idea is particularly strong in countries where most Catholics are majority (Catholic doctrine strongly opposes abortion). In Ireland, in addition to abortion, contraception was also illegal in the past. As for the reproductive rights of the female body, it is believed that the fetus is the continuation of the female body, and when the existence of the fetus affects the mother’s physical health, the mother has the right to abort the growth of the fetus. There is also controversy over whether the fetus is defined as human and enjoys the rights as a human being. Some supporters believe that if the fetus has not yet been born or formed into a human body, it is part of the female body and cannot be defined as human, while opponents believe that the fetus is already human at the time of its formation, and the fetus is life, so they oppose abortion.

In countries around the world, abortion by illegal means is illegal, it is usually banned or restricted, but in some countries, legal abortion also exists. Now about two-thirds of women in the world can legally have an abortion (within the number of weeks of fetuses limited in this country). Abortion laws vary greatly from country to country. Some countries can do so under any circumstances if there is demand and the consent of a doctor, while many countries in the world are not allowed to have an abortion anyway. Abortion laws are still changing frequently and will continue to become a social controversy.

Ancient Law

There is no clear provision for abortion in the ancient code. The Hammurabi Code of the Kingdom of Babylon stipulates that “whoever beats a woman so that she loses the fetus will be fined according to her status”, and the Manu Code of India has “whoever kills the fetus by striking a man with a sword……”, all belong to the type of injury crime.

Religion

  • In the resolution of the Conference of Constantinople in 629 AD, abortion was equivalent to murder. And until now, the Catholic Church has not only firmly opposed any abortion, but it also even expelled women who had abortions in the past. In many countries where Catholicism is the main religion, such as the Republic of Ireland, any abortion (unless the fetus poses a threat to the life of a woman) has been a criminal offence. Both the person requesting the abortion and the doctor performing the operation may be sentenced to prison, and later passed a referendum on May 25, 2018 to amend the constitution to allow abortion. As for other Christian denominations, most of them quote the contents and doctrines of the “Bible” and oppose abortion.
  • Judaism according to their “Jewish Holy Law” scripture mentions that the fetus is regarded as a part of life, not an independent individual, before most of the head or body leaves the mother. It was mentioned in a statement announcing abortion-related issues at the 1975 Biannual meeting of Jews.”……The well-being of the mother is our first consideration.”
  • Islam advocates that abortion can be performed in order to realize the interests of oneself, family and society without violating the creation of Allah.Various jurists in Islam believe to varying degrees that abortion before four months is possible.

Relevant regulations in Asia

There are 48 countries in Asia today, according to the United Nations.

China

The 1998 legislation stipulates that most couples are only allowed to have one child, except for rural areas or ethnic minorities. In 2013, the “single second child” policy was implemented. One of the couples who is an only child can legally give birth to two children, but if you want to have a second child, you must still apply for a birth certificate issued by the government. In 2015, the Fifth Plenum of the Central Committee adopted the comprehensive implementation of the two-child policy, allowing each couple to have two children. National laws do not provide for this, but a few local government regulations have relevant provisions, mainly in order to avoid gender discrimination and rationalize the demographic structure. The Harbin Municipal government stipulates that administrative approval is required for artificial abortion after more than 14 weeks of pregnancy. The Regulations on the Prohibition of Selective Termination of Pregnancy in Guiyang City stipulate that abortion for women who are more than 14 weeks pregnant is prohibited, except for some special circumstances. Otherwise, the maximum penalty for illegal income is not more than 6 times, or a fine of not more than 30,000 yuan. If you become pregnant outside the plan, a fine will be imposed according to the parents ‘ income. Under the one-child policy of family planning, abortion is a common practice of forcibly terminating pregnancy. Moreover, although abortion is legal in the People’s Republic of China, forced abortion manipulated by the Family Planning Office is still nominally illegal.

Singapore


The Abortion Act to reform and liberalise the law concerning the practice of abortion in Singapore was passed by Parliament on 29 December 1969 and came into effect on 20 March 1970. The 1969 Abortion Act was reviewed in 1974 and further liberalised. The repealed Act made abortion available to any woman who wanted one and she would no longer require the approval of the Termination of Pregnancy Authorisation Board, which was scrapped under the new bill.

Countries and Regions with Conditional Restrictions on Abortion in Asia

Japan

The Eugenics Protection Act promulgated in 1948 made Japan the fastest legal abortion country in Asia. The law was renamed the “Maternal Protection Law” in 1997.

The Maternal Protection Law defines abortion as “artificially discharging the fetus and its appendages from the maternal body during the period when the fetus cannot maintain its life outside the maternal body” and defines the following two as legitimate reasons for abortion. Violators will be prosecuted for abortion. At present “the period when the fetus cannot sustain life outside the mother” is defined as 22 weeks of pregnancy. Doctors designated by the Medical Association of a society established in the prefectural area of Dudao Prefecture may perform abortion after obtaining the consent of themselves and their spouses for persons who meet any of the following reasons:

  • Continued pregnancy or childbirth may seriously damage the health of the mother for physical or economic reasons
  • Pregnant by adultery because of an atrocity or threat and unable to resist or refuse

Hong Kong

According to section 47A of the Crimes against the Person Ordinance

Legal termination of pregnancy surgery must be carried out within the first 24 weeks of pregnancy (if continuing pregnancy poses a life threat to the pregnant woman, it is not subject to the pregnancy period limit), and must be confirmed by 2 registered doctors:

  • Continuing pregnancy will pose a greater threat to the life of the pregnant woman or the physical or mental health of the pregnant woman than terminating the pregnancy, or
  • The fetus is most likely to have physical and mental imperfections after birth that are enough to cause serious disability; or
  • the pregnant woman is under the age of 16; or
  • Pregnant women reported to the police within the previous 3 months, claiming to be the victim of incest, rape, forced rape, seduction or rape.

Taiwan

Since the Criminal Law of the Republic of China was promulgated and promulgated in 1934 and came into force on July 1, 1935, Chapter 24 of Part 2 of the previous versions has provided for the “crime of abortion”, but Article 288, Item 3, clearly stipulates that pregnant woman who have abortions due to illness or other reasons necessary to prevent danger to their lives are exempted from their punishment. The Eugenics Health Care Law was enacted and promulgated in Taiwan in 1984. Since its implementation on January 1, 1985, the scope of abortion has been clearly defined in Article 9 of Chapter 3 abortion and Ligation Surgery. However, at the same time, when there is still a dispute between the two laws, according to Article 16 of the Central Regulatory Standards Law, “if the regulations are special provisions on the same matter specified in other regulations, they should be applied first”, that is, the special law is superior to the common law.

A pregnant woman may perform abortion voluntarily if she is diagnosed or certified to have one of the following:

  • I or my spouse suffer from hereditary, infectious diseases or mental diseases that hinder eugenics.
  • Blood relatives within myself or the four relatives of his or her spouse suffer from genetic diseases that hinder eugenics.
  • Those who have medical reasons enough to determine that pregnancy or childbirth is dangerous to their lives or endangers their physical or mental health.
  • There are medical reasons, enough to determine that the fetus is at risk of abnormal development.
  • A person who is conceived because of forced sexual intercourse, seduction or rape with a person who is not allowed to marry according to law.
  • Those who will affect their mental health or family life due to pregnancy or childbirth.

An unmarried minor or a person subject to guardianship or assisted proclamation shall perform abortion in accordance with the provisions of the preceding paragraph and shall receive the consent of a legal representative or auxiliary person. If there is a spouse, abortion shall be performed in accordance with the provisions of paragraph 6 of the preceding paragraph, and the consent of the spouse shall be due. But this is not limited to those whose spouse’s life and death are unknown or unconscious or insanity. For the determination of the abortion situation specified in item 1, the central competent authority may, when necessary, formulate a standard announcement after being formulated by the Eugenics Health Care Advisory Committee.

Korea

The Abortion Law was promulgated in 1953. Only when the health of pregnant women is seriously threatened, pregnant due to rape, incest, or the fetus suffers from serious genetic diseases, pregnant women can undergo abortion surgery. After 24 weeks of pregnancy, all abortion operations are illegal. Women who have illegal abortions are sentenced to fixed-term imprisonment of not more than 1 year and a fine of not more than 2 million Korean won. Doctors and others who perform abortion operations will also be sentenced to fixed-term imprisonment of not more than 2 years.

According to Article 14 of the “Mother and Child Health Care Law”, the reasons why artificial abortion can be performed under certain conditions are:

  • When I or my spouse suffer from genetic mental disorders or physical diseases prescribed by the Presidential Decree.
  • When I or my spouse suffer from infectious diseases prescribed by the Presidential Decree.
  • When pregnancy is caused by rape or quasi-rape.
  • Pregnancy between kindred or in-laws that are legally unable to marry.
  • When maternal health is seriously damaged in health care medicine due to continuous pregnancy.

If a woman applies for an abortion under the above exceptions, the operation must be completed within 24 hours after the application, and the woman undergoing the operation also needs to obtain the consent of her partner.

In 2019, the Constitutional Court of South Korea ruled that the current abortion ban and the provisions punishing doctors who perform abortion operations infringe on women’s right to free choice and are unconstitutional. It is expected that the abortion law will be amended by the end of 2020

India

Before 20 weeks of pregnancy. Does pregnancy pose a huge risk to the physical and mental health of pregnant women or does the fetus have abnormalities? For pregnant women who are 12 weeks to 20 weeks pregnant to have an abortion, they need to be approved by two qualified doctors at the same time.

Many countries allow women to have abortions in situations where the life of the mother is threatened, including Afghanistan, Bangladesh, Guatemala, Iraq, Ivory Coast, Lebanon, Myanmar, the Kingdom of Oman, Paraguay, Somalia, South Sudan, Syria, Uganda, Venezuela, West Bank / Gaza and Yemen.

Thailand

On January 26th, 2021, the Thai Parliament passed a law amending abortion as a crime by 166 votes to 7 votes, allowing women who are less than 12 weeks pregnant to have an abortion, but those who are more than 12 weeks pregnant will still be punished, with the aim of solving the problem of women seeking illegal abortions by non-professionals.

According to this amendment, those who are more than 12 weeks pregnant are only allowed to have an abortion under certain conditions, otherwise they will be sentenced to up to 6 months in prison or a fine of 10,000 baht, or a combination of both.

“This means that abortion has its conditions and can only be performed by a physician according to law.”

According to the new regulations, if the doctor determines that the risk of fetal deformity is high, the pregnancy poses a life threat to the mother, and the pregnancy is caused by sexual assault, deception, or coercion, under these conditions, women who are more than 12 weeks pregnant can legally terminate the pregnancy.

Retaining penalties will still make abortion labelled. They advocate that abortion is an individual right and believe that punishment will hinder women from seeking safe abortion channels, and harm women’s dignity.

Indonesia

Indonesia law allows abortion in medical emergencies, as well as in cases of severe fetal anomaly. In the latter situation, if the woman is married, both she and her husband must consent. The law was expanded in 2009 to legalize abortion in cases of rape, but only up to six weeks’ gestation.

It is commonly accepted that the vast majority of abortions occur outside these legal parameters and that many occur under unsafe conditions.

The provision of postabortion care is legal and offered in many hospitals. Postabortion care includes services for treating miscarriages, as well as complications of unsafe abortion.

Countries that completely prohibit abortion in Asia

Malaysia

Article 312 of the Criminal Code

Article 312 of the Criminal Code states that any person who voluntarily causes a (pregnant) female to miscarry may be sentenced to imprisonment for up to 3 years, or a fine, or both. If the embryo has been formed, the person may be sentenced to 7 years’ imprisonment or a fine

“If a woman causes her own abortion, she can also be charged under this provision. Therefore, under this provision, outsiders who help pregnant women miscarry, or pregnant women themselves cause their own miscarriage, can be charged.”

Under this law, if a pregnant woman consults a qualified medical staff, the medical staff has good intentions, or with professional medical knowledge, and believes that continuing to conceive will lead to a threat to the life of the pregnant woman, including physical and mental conditions, then abortion surgery is legal.

Even if the child’s condition in the mother is not good, such as pregnant women suffering from the Zika virus, resulting in the child suffering from microcephaly, abortion is still not allowed under this law.

As for pregnant women who are not pregnant voluntarily, such as rape, which leads to pregnancy, at present, China’s law remains silent on this topic.“Under section 312, it is not specified that pregnant women can have an abortion as a result.But as far as I know, there are shelters in Malaysia to adopt these children.”

“If a pregnant woman falls into a coma and cannot express her will but continuing to conceive can endanger the life of the mother, then the family can make a decision on behalf of the pregnant woman.”

Article 313 of the Criminal Code

In addition, article 313 of the Criminal Code states that any person who causes a woman to miscarry without the consent of the woman may be sentenced to up to 20 years ‘ imprisonment and a fine if convicted.

Article 309A of the Criminal Code

In addition, according to Article 309A of the Criminal Code, any woman who causes the death of a newborn with malice or negligence may be sentenced to imprisonment for up to 20 years and a fine if convicted.

Regardless of whether the woman’s body and mind are disturbed after giving birth, it can only be used as a reason for intercession in the end, and it does not mean that she can get rid of the crime.

Philippines , Palau

The Catholic Church also opposes abortion and contraception, because God does not allow murder (contraception is also murder). Even an embryo in the womb is considered a life. Since it is a human being, there are human rights, and others are not eligible to deprive him of the right to be born, so women in the Philippines & Palau cannot have an abortion.

Relevant regulations in Europe

There are 44 countries in Europe today, according to the United Nations.

Ireland

The Constitution once prohibited women from having abortions, and after a referendum in November 1992, women were allowed to have abortions in countries other than Ireland. In 2014, pregnant women were allowed to have abortions legally if their health was seriously threatened. In 2018, the amendment to the Constitution prohibiting abortion was deleted in accordance with the “Article 36 Constitutional Amendment”.

Abortion is allowed for women within 12 weeks of pregnancy, or under conditions such as endangering the life of the pregnant woman and causing serious harm to the health of the pregnant woman.The new law also allows abortion of abnormal fetuses that may lead to death before childbirth or death within 28 days of birth.

France

Legislation in the 1970s allowed women to choose abortion unconditionally within the first 12 weeks of pregnancy.

Sweden

Since 1970, women within 18 weeks of pregnancy can choose to have an abortion in a hospital without holding any reasons,which is the most lenient country for abortion.

Switzerland

Using the abortion law enacted in 1937 for a long time,those who perform abortions will be sentenced to five years in prison and a fine. Until 2001, the Swiss parliament passed allowing pregnant women to choose to have an abortion within the first twelve weeks of pregnancy.In the following year’s referendum, 72% of voters voted in favor of the reform proposal to decriminalize abortion.

Romania

Legislation passed the abortion law in 1989, before that illegal abortion in the country caused the death of half a million women.

Italy

Women can choose abortion unconditionally within 90 days of pregnancy.

United Kingdom

In the era of the United Kingdom of Great Britain and Ireland, in 1803, the world’s first anti—abortion bill, the Lord Ellenborough Act, was passed, which regarded abortion as an illegal act with a maximum penalty of death. The Personal Injury Act of 1861 reduced the maximum sentence to life imprisonment, which was later inherited by the United Kingdom and Ireland. In 1929, the Baby Protection Act was passed, which regarded abortion as equivalent to infanticide, and prohibited the end of the life of any possible living fetus. In 1967, an abortion law was enacted to protect women’s right to choose an abortion and allow conditional abortion within 28 weeks of pregnancy. In 1990, the provisions on abortion in the Human Fertilization and Embryo Law were amended and relaxed.

Abortion can be legally performed within 24 weeks of pregnancy. The approval or signature of two doctors is required (only one doctor is required in case of emergency), the pregnancy does not exceed 24 weeks, and the following may be the reasons for abortion:

  • Saving the life of the pregnant woman
  • Protecting the physical or mental health of the pregnant woman,
  • Signs of abnormal development of the fetus, social or economic reasons, etc.
  • If the life of a pregnant woman is seriously threatened by continuing her pregnancy or the fetus is at risk of obvious abnormal development, abortion is still allowed regardless of how long she is pregnant.

Spain

Abortion for babies less than 14 weeks old was legalized in 2010. If the pregnant woman has health risks and fetal deformities, the abortion will be legalized in 2010. If the pregnant woman has health risks and fetal deformities.

Abortion is also legal when the number of weeks of pregnancy is less than 22 weeks.

Countries with Conditional Restrictions on Abortion in Europe

Poland

Women are allowed to have abortions only if rape or incest leads to pregnancy, a serious threat to the life of a pregnant woman, and a serious deformity of the fetus.[56]In 2020, the Polish Constitutional Court ruled that further restrictions on abortion and prohibitions on abortion with fetal deformities were equivalent to a total ban on abortion.

Cyprus

Abortion can only be performed because of rape or serious threat to the health of the mother.

Portugal

Abortion is illegal. Abortion can only be performed within 12 weeks of pregnancy due to rape, embryo deformity or maternal health threat

Countries that completely prohibit abortion in europe

Malta, which is mainly Catholic, is the only EU country that completely prohibits abortion, and if it violates the law, it will be sentenced to 18 months to 3 years in prison. European countries that are not part of the European Union, such as Andorra, the Vatican and San Marino, also prohibit abortion.

Relevant regulations in North America

There are 23 countries in North America today, according to the United Nations.

United States

Before the 1940s, Connecticut was the first U.S. state to pass an abortion law; in the 1960s, a woman was pregnant due to taking a certain drug to cause deformity of the newborn, and suffering from German measles during pregnancy, resulting in severe disability of the newborn. After the incident, states began to relax the laws on abortion; on January 22, 1973, the U.S. Supreme Court, in Roe v. Wade, recognized that women’s right to abortion is protected by the constitutional right to privacy, and surgery can be legally performed in the first stage of pregnancy (within three months). The ruling is still controversial in American society. There are still anti-abortion organizations calling for the ruling to be overturned, while major political parties, including the Democratic Party, advocate respecting and upholding the Supreme Court’s decision. Some states in the United States have also proposed a heartbeat bill to restrict abortion (heartbeat bill).

  • South Dakota Governor Mike Lowndes signed a bill banning abortion in the state on March 6, 2006, with the aim of taking the case to the Federal Supreme Court through litigation so that the conservative-leaning Supreme Court at the time could overturn the decision in Roe v. Wade, but the state bill was annulled by a voter referendum in the November 2006 election.
  • If the fetal heartbeat is detected after 6 weeks of pregnancy in Iowa, abortion cannot be performed.
  • Abortion is illegal in Mississippi for those who are more than 15 weeks pregnant, except for the serious deformity of the child or the danger of the mother.
  • Iowa’s abortion restriction bill, the Heartbeat bill, stipulates that abortion is illegal once the fetal heartbeat is detected,and the fetus will have a heartbeat about six weeks into pregnancy.
  • Alabama passed a bill on May 15, 2019, requiring women not to have an abortion from the beginning of pregnancy, even if they are pregnant due to rape or incest.Abortion is only possible when a pregnant woman’s life is threatened due to pregnancy.

Canada

All stages of pregnancy are legal.

Relevant regulations in South America

Mexico

On April 24, 2007, a bill passed in Parliament pointed out that pregnant women can voluntarily decide whether to terminate their pregnancy when they are less than 12 weeks pregnant.If pregnancy poses a threat to the life of the pregnant woman, the pregnancy after rape of the woman, fetal deformity, and unauthorized artificial insemination, etc., the pregnant woman may perform an abortion before 20 weeks of pregnancy.

Cuba, Guyana and Uruguay

Countries that allow free abortion

Countries with Conditional Restrictions on Abortion in South America

Chile

In September 2017, the strict abortion ban that had been in place for decades was terminated, and then-President Michelle Bachelet signed the abortion decriminalization Bill.

The fetus is harmful to the mother, the fetus is determined not to survive, and the mother is pregnant because of rape.

Brazil

Articles 124-127 of the Criminal Code indicate that abortion will not be sentenced if pregnant due to sexual assault and there is no other way to save the life of the mother.

Guatemala, Venezuela, Paraguay, Ecuador

Allow women to have an abortion in cases where the life of the mother is threatened.

Argentina, Cuba, Ecuador, Mexico and Panama

Pregnancy due to rape can be a reason for legal abortion.

Countries that completely prohibit abortion in south america

Dominica, El Salvador, Haiti, Honduras, Nicaragua, Suriname

Relevant regulations in Africa

There are 54 countries in Africa today, according to the United Nations.

Mozambique

Women can have an abortion within 12 weeks of pregnancy;if it is due to rape or the health of pregnant women and other factors, they can have an abortion within 16 weeks of pregnancy.

Countries with Conditional Restrictions on Abortion in africa

South Sudan, Uganda, Somalia, Côte d’ivoire

Women are allowed to have abortions in cases where the life of the mother is threatened.

Countries that completely prohibit abortion in africa

Republic of the Congo, Democratic Republic of the Congo, Egypt, Gabon, Guinea-Bissau, Madagascar, Mauritania, Senegal

Relevant regulations in the Middle East

There are 18 countries in Middle East today, according to the United Nations.

Countries with Conditional Restrictions on Abortion in middle east

Israel

The Israeli Criminal Code of 1977 designated a special committee to decide on matters related to the termination of pregnancy. This committee consists of three members,at least one of whom must be a woman:an expert in obstetrics and gynecology, or an expert in related medical subjects (which can be obstetrics and gynecology, internal medicine,psychiatry, etc.), or a social worker.

Afghanistan, Jordan, Yemen, Syria, Iraq, Lebanon, Oman

Women are allowed to have abortions in cases where the life of the mother is threatened.

Expert View

Speaking of the issue of abortion for middle school students and college students, Wei Aimin, a representative of the Beijing People’s Congress and a lawyer at Beijing Contemporary Law Firm, believes that this is a social issue that must be paid attention to. He has done research on this phenomenon. He said it is worrisome that these middle school students are afraid of being discovered by parents, teachers, and other acquaintances. They are not well-off and often can’t afford to go to large hospitals. Instead, they choose some for-profit hospitals in the society to perform artificial abortions. Some still go to small rural clinics without qualifications, which are prone to danger. Some students even buy their own abortion pills to have an abortion on their own. Many unscrupulous hospitals in the society exaggerate the so-called “painless abortion” and “harmless abortion” to solicit business, while there are few public service advertisements that really teach students to properly protect their bodies.

Suggestions

Schools set up sex education classes to popularize common sense

“These pregnant children are children worthy of adults to care and love. When they encounter difficulties, parents, society, and the government should lend a helping hand to care for them and take care of them, help them solve their difficulties, and help them learn how to deal with them in the future.”

Wei Aimin said that he hoped to use the Beijing Morning Post to send a few words to parents, society, and the government:

  1. when parents encounter children making mistakes, they should talk to them more, rather than blindly complaining and criticizing.
  2. society should give children more tolerance; and the government needs to come up with more ways and policies to guide and help children.

Wei Aimin suggested that before the winter and summer holidays each year, all kinds of schools focus on opening one-time education courses. Teaching materials can be compiled first by districts and counties, and based on gaining experience, the city will carry out unified compilation. One of the more critical issues is to popularize basic common sense of contraception and protect children’s physical health. At the same time, the school installs and sells condom boxes, and it is recommended that the condom boxes be placed in places without probes to facilitate students to buy them.

Public hospitals waive fees for students

Wei Aimin suggested that the implementation of a free system of student abortions in public hospitals throughout the city, or only charging treatment fees of not more than 100 yuan, would play a certain economic inhibitory role, to avoid pregnant students choosing to visit private hospitals with relatively cheap fees because they do not have enough abortion costs to suffer secondary injuries. He also suggested that:

  1. A conversation system should be implemented for abortion girls, and medical personnel should talk to abortion girls for not less than a certain period.
  2. The contents of the conversation are specific and clear, including postoperative care, psychological grooming, contraceptive knowledge, and mental health knowledge during development.
  3. The personal privacy of abortion students must be fully protected and must not be disclosed to others.
  4. For the guardian’s confidentiality problem, it is recommended to solve it through legislation.

In addition, Wei Aimin suggested that various media outlets should be firmly prohibited from publishing abortion advertisements. On the contrary, public hospitals take appropriate measures to publish public welfare appeals in the mass media, and must not do misleading advertisements like painless flow, which do not affect learning, work, etc.

Social Views

Terminate the life of the fetus after pregnancy and before birth. This matter may be man-made or natural, although man-made abortion is a matter of moral philosophy discussion. Conservatives or “pro-life” believe that intentional abortion is not allowed; liberals or “pro-choice” see such behaviour on various occasions as permissible. The liberal attitude can even be extended to every situation where the mother wants an abortion, and they also make a lot of restrictions on abortion, such as the age of the fetus. The neutral side has made restrictions on the circumstances in which abortion is allowed, but the result of the debate is not biased towards neutrality. Abortion also involves issues of human nature, as well as the beginning of life; the right to life, the fragile concept of “holiness of life”, the way to deal with conflicting rights, and political and social issues that may propose moral and legal policies and implement them. Abortion has been a controversial social phenomenon since ancient times, and as an objective fact, it has always existed in people’s lives.

Religious Views

In some countries, it is believed that the human “soul” enters the embryo 14 days after the egg is fertilized. Currently, the embryo is “human”, and killing the embryo thereafter is equivalent to murder. Some European countries prohibit abortion on this basis. But there are many religions in the world that have different interpretations of this process.

In general, the Christian tradition emphasizes respect for all human lives, and intentional or direct killing is prohibited for the lives of innocent people (including fetuses). Abortion has never been seen as a kind of good, nor as a morally neutral behavior. The godfathers of the ancient Church attacked abortion; Clement of Alexandria (circa 140-217) regarded abortion as sexual immorality. Dale Duriang (Q.S.F. Tertullian, about 160-230) rebuked the practice of using abortion to hide the fact of pregnancy. Although Augustine (354-430) advocated delayed ensoulment, he believed that all abortions (including unborn fetuses) were serious crimes. Thomas Aquinas (circa 1225-1274) also accepted the argument of delaying the teaching of the spirit,but argued that when the fetus after the teaching of the spirit fell, he committed homicide. Reformers such as Martin Luther (1483-1546) also mentioned that the fetus has a soul; Calvin (J. Calvin, 1509-1564) more directly rebuked abortion as an irrepressible crime. The Anglicans and Puritans of the seventeenth century also regarded abortion as sexual immorality. After the 18th century, the Church’s position changed, arguing that the embryo has human life from the time of conception, and therefore must be respected. This position has always been the official position of the Catholic Church today.

Reference : “Catholic Catechism (1996)”, “Catholic Catechism (1992)” No. 2270-2275, No. 2322; Pope John Paul II, Encyclical “The Gospel of Life (1996)”.

Biological Views

Many people mistakenly think that abortion is a “religious” issue, but it is not. It is a scientific issue, especially a biological issue. To ask when life begins, biologists are the scientific authority, but when we are seeking an answer to this question, we often end up asking these people.

Biologically speaking, when pregnant, there are two different bodies coexisting, which is a scientific fact. One is the woman’s own body, in addition, there is a body that is child’s. Many pregnant women and fetuses have different blood types, which shows that they are two different bodies. If a person has two different blood types, this is medically impossible.

Legal Views

In Western countries, abortion is a big thing. Before the mid-19th century, although abortion was considered inappropriate, most states in the United States allowed abortion before fetal movement. After the mid-19th century, a group of professional surgeons began to push for restrictive abortion legislation. In 1845, Massachusetts was the first state to criminalize abortion. By 1910, except for Kentucky, abortion was criminalized in all states. Most states stipulate that abortion is allowed only if it is to save the life of a pregnant woman. Those who introduce abortion, provide abortion, or perform abortion for others without a surgeon’s license are in violation of the criminal law. However, women who have abortions are not punished.

Human Nature Views

The state also has some restrictions on abortion. Mainly to limit the time of abortion, restrict or prohibit late-term abortion. These restrictions not only consider the interests of pregnant women, but more importantly consider the right to life of the fetus. On the other hand, there are also many unmarried pregnant women in Western countries who are happy to give birth to their children. There is no family planning problem there, birth registration is not difficult, and people do not regard unmarried pregnancy and childbirth as a rebellious thing. You don’t have to get married to have children, and you don’t have to have children to get married, so there are many unmarried mothers and unmarried fathers. And in China, having a child brought about by an out-of-wedlock sexual relationship can be a lot of trouble.

There is a favorite deep in the heart

“It’s painful, loving someone from afar.

Watching them – from the outside.

The once familiar elements of their life reduced to nothing more than occasional mentions in conversations and faces changing in photographs…..

They exist to you now as nothing more than living proof that something can still hurt you … with no contact at all.”

By Ranata Suzuki

When I first arrived in the United States, I was a guest at a classmate’s house. He is a handsome and talented man, but he married a woman whose talent and appearance are far from matching. What is especially puzzling is that he abandoned his girlfriend who has been dating in China for many years and has long talked about marriage.

“My parents and brothers don’t forgive me!” He pointed around, “But look, I have a house, furniture, deposits, and a green card. Who gave it?” He sighed, “People After 35 years of age, many things are clear. I have worked hard all my life and hope to have a good life for a few days.”

It’s just that I think, who does he really love in his heart?

Zhang DaqianWade-Giles romanization Chang Ta-ch’ien, (born May 10, 1899, NeijiangSichuan province, China—died April 2, 1983, Taipei, Taiwan), painter and collector who was one of the most internationally renowned Chinese artists of the 20th century.

After reading “The Biography of Zhang Daqian” written by Mr. Xie Jiaxiao, after reading more than 500 pages, when I came to the “postscript”, I found an important passage, to the effect that Zhang Daqian’s wife Xu Wenbo was by his side in the second half of his life. But in the prime of life, Yang Wanjun is the one who accompanies him to share the joys and sorrows, and love and know each other the most. It was Yang Wanjun who helped Zhang Daqian escape the clutches of the Japanese, and it was also Yang Wanjun who accompany him to face the walls of Dunhuang and suffered from the wind and frost. But when Mr. Daqian was interviewed by Xie Jiaxiao, he rarely mentioned the most important woman in his life.  

Mr. Xie Jiaxiao said: “Is he taking care of Xu Wenbo who is by his side, and avoiding praise Yang Wanjun?”

“He (Zhang Daqian) set aside his will at the age of 80, especially in the bequest part, stating that he wanted to give it to his lover Yang Wanjun. It shows that in Mr. Daqian’s heart, he never forgot a period of affectionate years with Yang Wanjun.”

Closing the book, I must admire Mr. Xie Jiaxiao’s attitude as a journalist, seeking truth from facts.13 years after the completion of “The Biography of Zhang Daqian”, and 10 years after the death of the old man, he finally said what he didn’t say.

Isn’t it something that Mr. Daqian didn’t say anything, but buried his heart for more than 30 years?

Lin Huiyin (Chinese: 林徽因, born 林徽音; pinyinLín Huīyīn; known as Phyllis Lin or Lin Whei-yin when in the United States; 10 June 1904 – 1 April 1955) was a Chinese architect and writer. She is known to be the first female architect in modern China and her husband the famed “Father of Modern Chinese Architecture” Liang Sicheng, both of whom worked as founders and faculty in the newly formed Architecture Department of Northeastern University in 1928 and, after 1949, as professors in Tsinghua University in Beijing. Liang and Lin began restoration work on cultural heritage sites of China in the post-imperial Republican Era of China; a passion which she would pursue to the end of her life. The American artist Maya Lin is her niece.

Liang Sicheng (Chinese: 梁思成; 20 April 1901 – 9 January 1972) was a Chinese architect and architectural historian, known as the father of modern Chinese architecture. His father, Liang Qichao, was one of the most prominent Chinese scholars of the early 20th century. His wife was the architect and poet Lin Huiyin.

Xu Zhimo (徐志摩, Wu Chinese[ʑi tsɿ mu], Mandarin: [ɕǔ ʈʂî mwǒ], January 15, 1897 – November 19, 1931), was an early 20th-century romantic Chinese poet who strove to loosen Chinese poetry from its traditional forms and to reshape it under the influences of Western poetry and the vernacular Chinese language. He is considered one of the most important figures of modern Chinese poetry.

I still remember that Lin Huiyin, known as the First generation talented woman in china, fell in love with Xu Zhimo at first sight. Due to the pressure of the secular and family, the two were eventually separated, and finally married Liang Qichao’s son Liang Sicheng.

Liang Sicheng’s talent is not under Xu Zhimo. He is a pioneer in the study of ancient Chinese architecture. To this day, his works 40 years ago are still considered classics by the world architecture community.

Liang Sicheng, who has travelled all over China and studied in the West, has a different mindset after all. After Xu Zhimo’s plane crashed, Liang Sicheng rushed to the scene specially, picked up a fragment of the plane and gave it to his wife. It is said that Lin Huiyin hung it on the wall of the bedroom for the rest of his life.

Everyone has his own spiritual world, and in the depths of that soul, he may not necessarily be the other half of the marriage.  

“I feel the greatest destroyer of peace today is ‘Abortion’, because it is a war against the child… A direct killing of the innocent child, ‘Murder’ by the mother herself… And if we can accept that a mother can kill even her own child, how can we tell other people not to kill one another? How do we persuade a woman not to have an abortion? As always, we must persuade her with love… And we remind ourselves that love means to be willing to give until it hurts…”

By Mother Teresa

A friend who success in career said to me: “I do things all my life and I don’t owe anyone. To my parents, I am filial; to my friends, I am righteous; to my wife, I enjoy it. If there is any debt, I only owe one person-my girlfriend in high school. She was pregnant with my child, and I asked her to have an abortion, and she had to pay for it herself. I was so poor at that time that I couldn’t pay. The problem is that I am not only poor, but also seedless, and I dare not accompany her to the hospital.”

He sighed for a long time: “To this day, I remember her pale face after the abortion, she never complained about me, but I complained about myself as I got older…”

He looked for her for many years, used many contacts, methods, and even borrowed the name of a friend to post in the newspaper many times to find someone, but still no good news.

No wonder there is an emerging industry in Japan, looking for a first love lover for customers. It is said that many lovers, after 60 or 70 years, hugged and wept when they met, and found that the other party was still their favourite.

One day, he received a phone call from an elder, whose voice was distant and fragile, and it was an old friend whose mother had not seen her for more than ten years.

The mother was startled, got up from the bed in a hurry, and forgot to wear a hearing aid, babbling sentence by sentence.

He grabbed the phone and said: “Tell me something, and I will convey it again.“

The old man on the other end of the phone had a very calm tone: “Just tell her, I miss her very much!”

After a while, he received a letter from South America. The old man’s child said that his mother died soon after putting down the phone———–brain cancer!

He trembled to tell the old mother the news. The old mother, who was in her 80s, was not immediately moved, just sighed and said: “She hasn’t called for so many years, and when she received it, she knew something no good. She is really an old sister. We know each other since she was a child. She has not seen her for decades. She still misses me before she dies. It’s just that old friends are gone, and when I leave, who am I thinking about?”

The mother turned around, sat in the corner of the bed, and wept.

Are there some characters hidden in the depths of everyone’s heart, accompanied by joy and sadness, usually lock it up? I dare not touch it, let alone know it to outsiders, until some days when my heart is clear, or when I return to the light, my heart is weak, and I can’t lock it anymore. Finally, the character emerges.

Will one day, when we are near, suddenly find out that the person we love most in our lives is the one who has been forgotten for many years……

“Love was feeling the person everywhere, under your skin, in every strand of your hair, in your heart, in your bones, in the tone of your voice when you said their name. Love wasn’t always about being with the person, it was feeling that your world was better just because they lived. Even if you weren’t ever going to be together, he was the air you breathed, invisible but everywhere.”

By Jacqueline Simon Gunn

Comfort zone binding your freedom

“If you always do what is easy and choose the path of least resistance, you never step outside your comfort zone. Great things don’t come from comfort zones.”

By Roy Bennett

What keeps binding your freedom?  Is your comfort zone.

Bravely step out of the comfort zone, looking for a better world and a better self!

Everyone has their own comfortable circle. The so-called comfort zone is in your familiar circle, facing familiar people and things.

The comfort zone is like a circle, with your friends, family, everything in your life, where you live, where you work, and so on. We live in our own comfortable circle every day, because we feel free, relaxed and safe to stay in our own comfort zone.

With a comfortable circle, I think probably everyone wants to stay in their own circle, and they don’t want to change their current life and routine without anything.

“We are so accustomed to the comforts of “I cannot”, “I do not want to” and “it is too difficult” that we forget to realize when we stop doing things for ourselves and expect others to dance around us, we are not achieving greatness. We have made ourselves weak.”

By Pandora Poikilos

However, if one day we encounter something that needs to step out of our comfort zone, have you ever thought about what will happen to you?

“Will be afraid”

“I don’t have the courage”

“I’m afraid of making mistakes”

“I’m afraid of strangers”

Is that what you think?

“You never change your life until you step out of your comfort zone; change begins at the end of your comfort zone.”

By Roy T. Bennett

I once read a sentence: “Humans have a natural fear of the world outside the circle, because strangeness makes them seem to have come to an uninhabited desert island.”

Yes, if we leave the comfort zone, we will be afraid and fearful, because things outside the circle are very strange to us and will make us feel a strong sense of insecurity.

But if you are afraid, how can you improve?

In our lives, we will inevitably encounter some things outside our comfort zone that require us to muster the courage to face. And these things are a way that we must go through when we grow up, and they are also a way that will enable us to truly grow.

new environment

“Ends are not bad things, they just mean that something else is about to begin. And there are many things that don’t really end, anyway, they just begin again in a new way. Ends are not bad and many ends aren’t really an ending; some things are never-ending.”

By C. JoyBell C.

We must understand that “The end of one thing means the beginning of another. At the turning point of this process, there is something everyone needs to learn called adapting to the new environment. For example, after graduating from high school, you must adapt to the new environment of the university, and you must adapt to the new working environment when you change jobs.

For people who live in their comfort zone, it seems that they can’t learn the lesson of adapting to the new environment. They are unwilling to jump out of their circles and re-examine the new environment. What are they afraid of?

Having your own comfort zone is about the same as having your own social circle. Staying with friends you know can be very free and free, and there is no restriction at all. However, in the new environment, they are afraid of being alone because they are not brave enough to make new friends. The reason is that in this process, apart from taking the initiative, it also depends on whether the other party is willing to accept himself.

“Like an animal, I adapted to the world around me until it became my norm. This is me now. I’m a killer…”

By Arti Manani

If they step out of their comfort zone, they will have a lot of worries. For example, worry about whether you will not adapt to the new environment, whether you will be unpleasant in the new environment, and so on. Because of too many concerns, they are unwilling to try to take that step.

But life is all about you not working hard, if you never take that step, you will always live in your own circle. You will never make progress in this way, and you will never learn new things. If you are willing to step out of your own circle, you will find that things outside the circle are nothing more than that. Things will not be worse than imagined, but people always need a little time to adapt. Chinese people always said: “There must be a road before the car reaches the mountain, when the boat gets to the pier-head, it will go straight with the current”, mean everything will be all right, and the new environment will always force us to grow up.

Challenge yourself

Do you like to challenge something you dare not do? Such as extreme challenges, horror film challenges. If so, then your life must be wonderful.

“The comfort zone is a psychological state in which one feels familiar, safe, at ease, and secure. You never change your life until you step out of your comfort zone; change begins at the end of your comfort zone.”

By Roy T. Bennett

But I believe that people who like to live in their comfort zone must be reluctant to challenge some things they dare not do, because they are reluctant to overcome psychological fears.

Here I can only say that if you are unwilling to try to challenge yourself, you will never know how powerful you are. It only takes you a brave step to discover that things are not as scary and difficult as you imagined. But if you are unwilling to challenge something you have never done before, you may never know how difficult it is.

Therefore, many people like to challenge themselves to extreme challenges, because they want to test how brave they are, and want to overcome their fears to discover and enjoy the beauty of the moment. If you overcome the fear in your heart, you will discover a new and beautiful world, and you will also reap a new brave yourself.

“True potential for growth is measured by your willingness to let go of what you think you know, and embrace something seemingly contrary, thereby, challenging yourself to go higher. It is impossible to learn something new without rejecting something old.”

By C. Orville McLeish

independent

“Life is a process during which one initially gets less and less dependent, independent, and then more and more dependent.”

By Mokokoma Mokhonoana

What kind of talent is considered independent? It is undoubtedly that you can support yourself on your own, not relying on others too much. Independence is the process of discovering oneself, discovering that there is a most loyal friend, that is oneself. If things are within my control, then I don’t have to rely on others, I can rely on myself.

It is impossible for a person to be independent at birth. Independence is cultivated slowly, and it all depends on experience. How can I become an independent person? It is undoubtedly to continue to accept challenges and face failures.

It is not that people living in their comfort zone cannot be independent at all, but what they can be independent is also the things in their comfort zone. If something unexpected happens, they may become anxious and uneasy. The reason is simple, that is, they are usually unwilling to challenge things outside the circle, causing them to accumulate insufficient experience to face unexpected situations.

If you are willing to step out of your comfort zone, you will face a variety of problems, and these problems must always fail when you overcome them in the first place. But even if you fail, you will gain new experience from it, so it won’t be so difficult the next time you overcome it. Stepping out of your comfort zone must be your right choice.

“You must always overcome your comfort zone”

By Sunday Adelaja

For the outside world, the unknown is indeed too frightening. It is indeed very difficult for people to get out of the inherent comfort zone. Many people dare not try because they feel that they do not have enough ability to face the difficulties outside the circle. Many people tried to go out, but faced Lou Ci’s failure, which led to denial of the world outside the circle. So, it takes a lot of courage and strength to get out of your comfort zone. Perhaps there will be someone in your life who will pull you out of your comfort zone and make you a better version of yourself.

Although stepping out of the comfort zone will make us easy to make mistakes, only when we make mistakes can we learn new things from it. It is impossible to expand our horizons by moving around in a circle that we are familiar with. Only when we cross the line of the circle can we increase our knowledge and build a better self. In this way, our small circle can be drawn bigger and bigger, and can contain more things.

Get out of your comfort zone and discover more little things!

“Expose yourself to your deepest fear; after that, fear has no power, and the fear of freedom shrinks and vanishes. You are free.”

By Jim Morrison

The harder you work, the luckier you are!

“If you don’t give up on something you truly believe in, you will find a way.”
By Roy T. Bennett

To you who are chasing dreams: “Don’t give up if you have a dream!”

“What is your dream? Which one do you choose, dream or reality? Five years of pursuit, the answer is still unclear, no matter how you must continue to walk on thorns.”

When we were young, we were often asked by most people: “What is your dream?”

Yes, everyone has their own dreams and what they want to be in the future, but many times life is not what they want. You are happy when you imagine realizing your dreams in the future, but often reality will ruthlessly crush your beautiful imagination.

Choosing between dream and reality is like choosing between a job you like and a job with a ‘money’ job. How would you choose? I believe that most people will choose the most popular job and give up the job they like, because we all think that interest cannot be used as a meal. So, in the same way, dreams and reality, I believe most people will choose to rely on reality.

“Why don’t you try to do what you like?”

What is your reason? “Family situation is not ideal”, “Family does not support”, “I want to take a stable road”, is this your reason?

Nothing can stop you from doing what you like, so don’t find reasons to convince yourself. No road is always smooth, because such a road is meaningless. We only live this time. If we choose the path we want, we must go on no matter how difficult it is.

“I have walked a lot and got a lot of marginalization. The same is being yourself but being used to compare. I have stepped into this society before it has transformed, just treat all the injuries you have suffered as tuition fees.”

We often encounter many setbacks and blows on the way to growth. These are all good things; setbacks will force us to grow and know how to deal with problems.

And those who grow up with us must have people who like and don’t like us. We often do our truest self, but we somehow hear others talking about ourselves behind our backs. We can’t control their thoughts, but we can control our own lives. Your own life is up to you to make decisions, and you no need change yourself to please others, because no matter how you change, others can’t be satisfied with yourself.

“Don’t care, the so-called gossip; Keep your initial heart, be firm and don’t doubt it.”

On the road to chasing dreams, there will inevitably be doubts, because we have no strength, and others don’t want to believe us. But we can’t just give up in pursuit of dreams, we must prove ourselves and let them know that those who are willing to unconditionally support themselves when they have nothing have made the right choice!

When chasing dreams, we are often influenced by the outside world and it is easy for us to give up, because our beliefs are not firm enough, so we often give up halfway. It only takes a second to give up, but when you want to give up, ask yourself first, “Why did you do this in the first place”, always remember and feel the beginning of the initial heart.

Persisting all the way until now, you can’t give up so easily. “Why do I think to give up when I try so hard?” If every time you can’t adhere to, tell yourself: “Insist on for a while”, you may find that it is not difficult to persist.

Colorful world, just need to maintain the initial heart, I believe that it is not difficult to persist!

“The road ahead has never been clear, how can the darkness of the world let me follow my heart.”

“I don’t know how much darkness this road is, nor how many turns this road has; if you go forward and don’t look back, you will never be impatient, and you will never find the wrong answer.”

“Live the Life of Your Dreams: Be brave enough to live the life of your dreams according to your vision and purpose instead of the expectations and opinions of others.”

By Roy T. Bennett

People who have dreams it’s not because they know what the future will be then they have a dream. People with dreams are full of longing for the future, but they don’t know what will change in the future. So, people who are brave to chase dreams are brave, because they know nothing about the future but persist on to the dream to move forward.

Dream chasers firmly believe that the end of this road is good, bright, and promising, so they will not look back, if they do not look back, the decisions they make will not be wrong.

A really easy way to walk is not a broad road, but a trail, because you can gain more experience as you walk through as many turning road.

“You may be the only person left who believes in you, but it’s enough. It takes just one star to pierce a universe of darkness. Never give up.”

By  Richelle E. Goodrich

#The journey of chasing dreams is worth rushing for us!

What is a dream?

“Twenty years from now you will be more disappointed by the things that you didn’t do than by the ones you did do. So throw off the bowlines. Sail away from the safe harbor. Catch the trade winds in your sails. Explore. Dream. Discover.”

By H. Jackson Brown Jr.

I believe that everyone has great dreams.

“All our dreams can come true, if we have the courage to pursue them.”
By Walt Disney

What is dream? There is no need to think too complicated, the dream is that simple! If you are willing to dream, anything can become your dream! Dream is a kind of expectation for the future, the goal that I want to achieve in my heart. Such as career and love and so on. Thinking in dreams is sometimes equal to ideals.

What is the most common problem we heard from others since we were young? Whether it is a teacher, a parent, or a relative or friend, from their mouths we can most often hear them asking us:-

“What do you like to do?”

“What do you want to do in the future?”

“What kind of person do you want to be?”

Of course, the questions that cannot be skipped are undoubtedly:

“What is your dream?”

And when they ask you these questions, do you feel overwhelmed and wonder how to answer them? Don’t need to think too complicated, the dream is actually very simple. If it is something or something you want or desire to happen, then it is your dream.

“The moment you put a deadline on your dream, it becomes a goal.”
By Harsha Bhogle

Dream is the life you yearn for. Everyone has a life that everyone yearns for, and everyone has different pursuits for the life they yearn for. We often imagine what our future life will be like, whether it is a comfortable and relaxing paradise life, a fulfilling and wonderful life, or a busy urban life.

The dream does not have to be the accomplishment of something that everyone admires, and the life you dream of in the future can also be your dream. For example, could buy the house of dreams, harvest the desired love, get the ideal job, and so on. When you have illusions about life, your life will be motivated, and this motivation will push you toward your goals, and at the same time make you to be a better person.

Sometimes others will laugh at your dream life, but it belongs to you alone and is unique. So, you don’t need to pay too much attention to other people’s perspectives, just let yourself live the life you want!

What kind of person do you want to be? The most common answer is undoubtedly ‘I want to be a singer’, ‘I want to be a painter’, ‘I want to be a doctor’ and so on. Yes, the dream is the person you want to be.

There are many special reasons. Many people dream of being who they want to be, such as singers, actors, and painters. However, most people think that such fantasies are too unreal, and not everyone has a certain degree. Ability and strength can be taken, so they only dare to have illusions and not dare to pursue them. Maybe you who are reading this article have the same idea?

The way we want to be in the future seems to be far away from us, it seems unreal, and it doesn’t seem to be true, but at the same time it is very close to us, because if we work hard, it will be realized. Although you may find it impossible, many people have done it. They can, why can’t you?

“Dreams don’t work unless you take action. The surest way to make your dreams come true is to live them.”

By Roy T. Bennett

Many people may not realize it. In fact, a simple sentence: “I want to be a happy person” can also be your dream. Maybe your current life cannot make you a happy person, so your dream is to be a happy, happy, carefree person. Similarly, some people have been particularly humorous and funny since they were young, so their dream is to be a funny person in the future, hoping to bring joy to those around them. So, if you dare to dream, you are willing to dream, then anything can become your dream.

Don’t know if you found it? A dream can be something you have always liked to do, and it is something you want to do for a lifetime.

Our lives are always looking for what we like to do. What I liked to do when I was young may be different from what I like to do when I grow up, because people will grow up and people will change. We try to understand and touch everything, because we are always thinking about what we really like to do. And when you find something, you really like to do, you will want to treat it as something you have been doing all your life, then this is your dream.

In order not to let the future self-live so tired, some people will want to turn what they want to do for a lifetime into their lifelong career, because doing what they love does not feel hard. Of course, on the contrary, some people do not want to turn what they like to do into their own work, because work brings pressure to our lives, so if they turn what they like to do into an infinite cycle of work every day, then it will become a kind of pressure.

“Dream your own dreams, achieve your own goals. Your journey is your own and unique.”

By Roy T. Bennett

People always have dreams.

Many people think that dreams are ‘dream’ and ‘fantasy’, both of which are unreal and unrealistic. But dreams have special magic power, that is, they can become the driving force of a person’s life. People must have dreams to live, because it gives people a direction and gives them the motivation to sprint towards the goal.

If people have no dreams, their lives will become meaningless, hopeless, and goalless. Dreams are people’s beautiful expectations. Because dreams are beautiful, so dreams come true has become the most desirable thing for people.

If you have certain goals and ideas for the future, anything can become your dream.

Those who have dreams are very bless.

Oh, dreams, dreams, dreams…….

How wonderful and fearful it is to realize these dreams!

But aren’t they just make life thrilling and worth living?

Most of us are afraid of crossing the safety line.

We are so obsessed with a safe and secure life that we just use this life to survive instead of living!

Yes, fear is normal. It’s scary to do something you can’t guarantee!

However, if it allows you to realize your dreams, is it worth the risk?

If crosses and leaps will cause your soul and heart to become more fulfilling, is it worth fighting for?

Destined love

“Sometimes the dreams that come true are the dreams you never even knew you had.”
By Alice Sebold

When I was a little girl, I knew that one day my wishful prince would come unexpectedly. I often imagine him riding a snow-white horse, he will invite me to seat at horseback and then ride me to his city. I believe that somewhere in this world there is a special person looking for me, just as I am looking for him. If it is destined, this kind of thing will happen.

I was 17 years old that year and he finally showed up. The young man’s name was Ted Bennington, and he was a new neighbor. My mother gave me a small gold box hung on a necklace on my birthday. The golden box is not new, but it is her collection for many years, and my mother always keeps this small box together with a few souvenirs that father gave her mother.

I said: “Mom, do you really want to give me the box? This belongs to you!”

Mom said: “Really! It really means a lot to me, but as I promise to myself that I will handover this box to you when you are 17 years old, and it’s belonged to you now my girl.”

There was an elusive look in my mother’s eyes. I glanced at her puzzled. In fact, the marriage between father and mother can be described as happily ever after. My father was warm and considerate, mum and dad always seemed to have unlimited happiness when they were together until my father died two years ago. I am secretly funny; I really don’t know what sad things will happen to my mother. But I do like this box, it is small and exquisite, shaped like a chicken heart, tied with a small gold chain, which makes people love it. But what makes my heart beat the most is that Ted Bennington gave me a simple blue headscarf with gold trim on it, which is really beautiful. I love the gifts Ted gave me, but I love him more. I like his pale-yellow curly hair hanging down on the front collar, bright and honest blue eyes also nice square jaw, it looks cute. He looks shy, likable, and serious, he looks so outstanding when compared with the glib tongue, self-righteous guys in our upper grades.

“Love is like the wind, you can’t see it but you can feel it.”
By Nicholas Sparks

About two months ago, I started to pay attention to Ted, when he came to our class for only a month. He is a quiet boy and never participates in any team in the school. After class or on weekends, while other classmates were hanging out and having fun, he had to go to a grocery store to work. At that time, it was an alumni dance party. As a senior high school girl, you can’t have too many choices, because most boys in this grade give their hearts to the first and second high school girls. I had to make a list of the remaining boys and crossed out the ones that were too short, now only 4 people remained in my list. But three of them were either too fat or unable to get along with me or spitting when talking, Ted became the only candidate in the end. When he walked out of the classroom after class, I was waiting there, pretending to bump into a piece by accident.

I accosted and said: “Nancy is hosting a family dance this weekend, Ted, this is an event for women to invite men. Do you want to go?”

“Go? You mean to go with you?” he asked.

“Yes!” I said.

This, this, I must go, thank you! I’m happy to go.” He said.

He was a little flattered, really wondering if he had ever taken a girl to any place when he grew up. I can’t help thinking, maybe it was a mistake to invite him. Will everyone like him? The people who attended the prom were all mainstream figures in the school. Is Ted a group? However, everything at the party was pleasant. Ted tried his best to adapt to it, dancing, participating in games, and talking with people, it really seemed like a proficient socialist.

After the party he sent me home on the way, we talked about each other’s plans after graduation, I said that I will study secretarial major. He told me that he was working hard to get a scholarship from Durrain College and was going to study medical science there. The moonlight is dim and graceful, which makes people have an inexplicable impulse. Suddenly it became clear to me that my little empty hand was shaking on one side of my body, and I believed his hand was the same. I really don’t know how many times our little hands touched each other and how many times we were electrocuted? On this road, we two stopped talking, and instantly felt that there was only us left in the whole world, and suddenly felt that each other could hear each other’s nervous and excited heartbeats. Now we are enjoying walking silently in the moonlight. What’s even more inexplicable is that our hands slowly got together at each other without knowing when they started.

“Destiny is not a matter of chance; it is a matter of choice. It is not a thing to be waited for, it is a thing to be achieved.”
By William Jennings Bryan

Ted took me to the alumni dance party, which seemed so natural. A feeling of heart trembling made me suddenly realize that Ted is the special person I have been expecting since I was young! Our feelings became more and more deep as time went by. We took a walk together, went hiking, and participated in a picnic party under the blue sky. Ted played a melodious guitar during the picnic, and we sang aloud together. These are days of infinite poetry and happiness. Then one day, Ted brought good news. He had won a scholarship from Durrain College.

Ted asked: “People would call me Doctor Bennington, how do you feel?”

I said: “It’s wonderful! But I will miss you.”

He said: “Me too, I wish you could go with me.”

I comforted him and said: “Don’t worry! I’ll be waiting for you here. Maybe I can find a job in that college before you graduate.”

Ted said: “That’s great, but I’m afraid.”

“What are you afraid of?” I asked.

Ted said: “Oh, everything is so perfect, I’m so afraid of losing you.”

“Blindly worry!” I said to him, “you won’t lose this destined love!” but I was wrong. In the first few months when Ted left me to go to college, we wrote letters to each other more diligently. But gradually, our letters became lesser and lesser, probably this is the beginning of the ending. He couldn’t go home together celebrate Thanksgiving, and when he came back at Christmas, I was getting measles. Finally, Ted has a new girlfriend. She is a classmate of their school. Ted wrote to say that he was sorry about it and said that he knew I would understand.

It was raining the day the letter was received. I lay on the bed listening to the patter of rain. I don’t hate Ted; I don’t even hate that girl. It’s just that I can’t believe what happened. At this moment, my mother walked in. I know what she is going to say.

Mum said: “There are other lads, you may not believe it now, but there will always be.”

I said: “Maybe, but Ted is my only beloved, I will never love again!”

Mom was silent for a while, and then said: ” Is the little gold box I gave you hanging on the necklace still there??

I said: “Little gold box? Oh, of course. It’s in the top drawer of the dressing table.”

Mom took out the little gold box and asked me to put it on. “Look,” she said, “this is the special lover who gave it to me when I was 17 years old.” I cherished the little gold box and thought of my dead father. What a happy life he once had with my mother!

“He is kind, likable, and different. I was convinced that he was the man I was destined for,” my mother said slowly, lost in thought, “but within a few days of our engagement, he died in A train accident.”

“What did you say?” I exclaimed, “I thought… You mean you had loved someone before Dad? The other person you thought was the most special?”

Mum said: “Yes, that’s the way it is, I think if I marry him, I am sure I will be very happy. But the result was that I married your father three years later. We also love each other, and I am also very happy with him.”   

“I don’t understand.” I said.

Mum Looked at me quietly and said: “Baby, what I want to tell you is that there is not only one special person in this world who will make us happy, but there are many such good people, Ted is just one of them. It’s just that he came too early.” . I almost cried because I felt that my childhood dream was being crushed.

Mum said softly: “One day, a good man will come at the right time, and he will be the one you are destined for.”

  She leaving me alone, walked out and closed the door gently. I’m listening to the sound of rain, I looked at the door my mother closed when she went out, but I thought of another door which was the other door of hope she opened for me just now.

“Yesterday is history, tomorrow is a mystery, today is a gift of God, which is why we call it the present.”
By Bill Keane

“You remember your first love because they show you, prove to you, that you can love and be loved, that nothing in this world is deserved except for love, that love is both how you become a person and why.”

By John Green