I often encounter friends asking, what kind of man is worth relying on for a woman, and what kind of man can I choose to make the chances of happiness greater? In fact, this issue is a very grand subject. Different people have different preferences and choices, and the bottom line of acceptance is also different. It is difficult to generalize.
And happiness is a systematic project. It is a variable thing that two people restrain and deduce each other in the process of facing each other day and night. It is by no means like buying something. You can have it for a lifetime if you pay one price at a time. This is also a lot of people. Envy someone else’s partner, but in fact, there may not be a reason for such a result if you really match you.
The key to happiness lies in one’s own hands. A person who knows how to manage and select will do the most suitable things to the most suitable person, so that the situation will have a healthy development, and bad taste and naive way will also cause a person to be very It is difficult to examine and choose the right person in essence, and finally deal with the problem rather confusingly. So this is a two-way question: try to choose someone you can appreciate and accept, and then work hard to manage it.
But in general, when it comes to choosing a relationship, we still need to avoid the other’s obvious defects in personality and quality. Some problems cannot be remedied through our efforts. Some common choices still have a clearer standard. For ordinary people, it is better not to try out some minefields. Let’s talk about men like this.
In order to make it easier for everyone to understand and operate, I have also included suitable and unsuitable people among the various types. Because the world is mysterious and unpredictable, there are no absolutes, so I was named. Men, don’t be discouraged, and don’t blame me for ruining your good deeds. Wild lilies also have spring, and your future direction is still very bright.
Minefields No. 1: Misbehavior
If he is keen to tell you how to use improper means to punish others in the workplace, or relish communicating with you how to go unorthodox, how to make Yin deceive and exclude dissidents, or if you find that he has a strange and cunning, unscrupulous side, good at dealing with fraud, and dismissive of rules such as conscience and morality, then you must be vigilant.
Character is the most foundation of a person. The problem of character is a matter of principle. All his life, he will live with the world and feelings given to him by this kind of thing, and he will never be eluted. Don’t think that he is a manifestation of a man’s ability. A person’s disregard for the rules and lack of moral warmth is a personality defect. He will also have his own characteristics in dealing with emotional issues. Even if he is docile and considerate to you now, in the end, if you put him in a choice and dilemma, he will use his most primitive and familiar means to deal with you, and love will not always have the original restraint and influence.
Don’t use examples such as some men who have the means to be all-powerful and will also be good to their wives to convince themselves that it is always a case of small chances, and some successful men will compromise certain bad habits of society. It may not be that they yearn for cunning in nature and are willing to twist themselves like this. They still have their own measure and kindness in their hearts, so they will return to nature in another place. It is not the same as those men who lack poor character in their nature, and the latter is also difficult to achieve big things.
Not suitable for the crowd: people who have relatively high requirements for human character and quality, have certain principles, hope that the relationship between people and people is more normal and healthier, do not like to secretly calculate and do not appreciate personal fraud.
Suitable for the crowd: familiar with thick black studies, and do not mind learning from another master; appreciate men with means, only care about the results and not about the process; do not feel that there is anything wrong with this way of life, advocating the law of the jungle.
Minefield No. 2: Narrow-minded
His heart and mind are narrow than anyone else’s, and whoever treats him badly or inadvertently offends him is brooding and must find a chance to return it. Where did you offend his old man, he can’t forget it for the first time, always remind you of this. When he quarrelled, he was more like a woman than you. He had to count all your questions, always remember how you were sorry for him, and asked you to pay the price.
If something is unsatisfactory, he will sigh and feel unhappy. He has never forgotten and surpassed the contradictions and the faults of others. He will never forget and compete with himself. He is intolerant and cannot accept some of your dissatisfaction. He will always remind you where there is a problem with you and how he is dissatisfied. He also cares too much about his relatives and colleagues or classmates, and he can’t let go of trivial matters, all of which become the source of depression and harm to others. For such a man, you should start to be vigilant.
A man who lacks the mind will live a very unhappy life. Such a man is even more unable to adapt to society than such a woman. He can neither accomplish great things nor deal with family conflicts and is destined to be a failure.
People who like the need to live are very gloomy. For them, the world is a relationship between the victim and the victim. Any slight damage can be attributed to a complex causal relationship by them. They have a strong vengeance. It is not only a narrow-minded problem, but also a gloomy mentality of not being able to persuade oneself and having to pay the price to others to get satisfaction. For such a person, it’s worth being vigilant that you can’t do not sin against them for the rest of your life. Everyone lives in a mutual run-in, so if you offend him, he can’t use normal methods to resolve it, he can only Be able to add back to you your feelings.
Not suitable for the crowd: people who are easy-going and don’t like to care about themselves and can’t stand the other person’s memory being too good; require men to have a mind, not a mother-in-law; people who are cheerful, careless, and without scheming are easy to be caught by the other person in this issue.
Suitable for the crowd: the style of work is strong, and it can suppress the revenge of men; be submissive, and do not like to violate the new era model of men’s three virtues and four virtues.
Minefield No. 3: Selfishness and Self-Interest
He thinks about himself first in everything, always judges things according to his own standards and imagination, doesn’t listen to the opinions of others, and only cares about his own wishes. He will also be nice to you, but if you don’t act according to his requirements, he will turn his face. He pays more attention to his own interests, often asking you to do something under the banner of being nice to you, and without exception he is the beneficiary. In the two people get along, he will choose the direction that is beneficial to him to determine your direction. He is more concerned about the material, benefits, and reputation you can bring to him, and he doesn’t care much about how you really feel. If you meet such a man, you should be vigilant.
Selfishness is a natural reaction, but extreme selfishness is difficult to provide a woman with the warmth and love she really craves. A person who always thinks about himself is destined that his world and space are only so small, and marriage is mixed with too much mutual understanding and dedication, and without commitment, there can be no happiness at all.
Not suitable for the crowd: people who think that lovers should help each other, pay each other, and have high expectations for their feelings; be shrewd in doing things, and cannot tolerate the other party taking advantage of themselves; people who are strong in character, and have the courage to resist unjust relationships.
Suitable for the crowd: those who love the supreme, believe that love is a complete payment, and do not mind the return; those who are broad-minded and really do not like to care.
Minefield No. 4: Hypocrisy
What he says and what he does are never the same thing. He is very good at hiding what is in his heart, and what he can express is what you like to hear and are willing to listen, but he may not be able to do what you really need. You will find that he will perform well in front of others, but on other unimportant occasions he will be different.
He has no truth in his mouth, big things lie, small things lie, completely unrelated things he is also used to making up an answer he likes to tell you. His psychological quality is super good, even if you catch it and expose it, he laughs like Wei Xiao Bao and begins to organize new lies all over the mountains and fields. He is not bad, but also sincere and kind. It is this habit that drives people crazy. He said he wanted to correct it, but it is difficult to do it.
He will always avoid the truth about anything to you, and when you ask, he will start play Tai chi, and three pushes and two pushes will eventually be over. He never talks about his feelings and future, he closes himself tightly, and you will never know his heart. When you discuss problems with him, he avoids talking about him left and right, and you will not understand any of his clear views and ideas. At this time, you may think that he is very mysterious, very charming, and worth digging like a treasure? No, you should be vigilant.
People who love to lie are a kind of psychological defect. They crave the approval of others and hope to be affirmed by others. Because they have lived in an unsafe environment or learned to observe words and watch people cook dishes to cover up their mistakes, they have become a habit of life.
People often say that it is better to be a real villain than a hypocrite. When a person knows how to hide something disgraceful in his heart, it will be more dangerous. When such a man already uses means to show what he can be accepted by the world, but hides a more complex heart, it will never be difficult for you to know what such a man will do, it is a feeling of staying on top of the dynamite vault.
The first principle of love is sincerity, even if there is no deep love, but with a sincere heart, it is enough for us to be warm. A person is not even willing to open his heart to others at least and reveal his intentions. The depth of his love is doubtful. Moreover, people with flashing words generally have very heavy intentions and cities. Too gloomy schemes make it difficult for you to enter his heart. You may always be excluded from his world, which is unbearable for some people who like to see each other honestly with their loved ones.
Not suitable for the crowd: naive personality, not good at perceiving people’s hearts; people who hate hypocrisy and want their lovers to be sincere; people who hate being blinded by lies.
Suitable for the crowd: People who are sloppy and don’t like to get to the bottom of things; people who like men’s cities, don’t want to worry about figuring out each other, and like to be arranged and manipulated.
Minefield No. 5: Violent Character
He likes to use violence to solve problems, and if you don’t succumb, he doesn’t mind using brute force to suppress. He always has his own reason for hitting you. Every time you provoke an incident, you force him to do it. You must be very obedient and obedient to him to show a gentle side, but if you disobey a little, his anger will be instantly ignited. In short, it is good to be nice to you, and it is really dared to do it when it is bad. You need to be vigilant anytime.
Violent personality is also a personality defect. In fact, they are lonely and incompetent from their hearts. Because they are afraid that others will see it, they use power to protect themselves twice. They don’t know how to deal with the problem correctly, so they will take the most direct and effective way to deal with it. Violence is an addictive thing. Except for occasional conflicts, the violence that has become a habit can only get stronger and stronger. Obedience and submission will never solve the fundamental problem.
Not suitable for the crowd: strong self-esteem; hate violence, strong personality; a smart woman who runs after a dozen and will never look back.
Suitable for the crowd: the personality is weak enough to be able to get rid of the control of others; believe that violence is also love; masochistic patients.
Minefield No. 6: Contempt for Women
He does not think that a woman is a creature of his own kind, and he will be nice to a woman, but this kind of kindness is like a pet, without real understanding and respect from the heart. He doesn’t like to care about women, but the starting point is complete contempt and unwillingness to reason with women. He quarrelled with women thinly, and always regarded women as something like tools and pastimes. Such a man is also worthy of vigilance.
This is not the category of machismo. Machismo just sees women as weak and believes that men should bear more, but those who despise women in their hearts will not be able to respect and be equal at all. His changes to women have been misguided from the beginning, no matter how good they are now, but they always lack the necessary depth and long-term understanding.
Not suitable for the crowd: feminists; new women; sensitive people.
Suitable for the crowd: like-minded people who are willing to rely on men; like-minded people who naturally feel that women are different than men.
Minefield No. 7: Strong desire to control
He pursues the effect that everything is under control, and he must participate in all your action arrangements and life plans and do it exactly according to his heart. He has his own life principles and life order, of course, you must also obey. Your friends, work, career, etc., he will interfere in every detail. He is afraid that you are out of his control, and once you have such signs, he will be very upset or furious until you finally succumb.
He never said what he heard, only the worst. He specifically starts on your most taboo wound, ensuring that it is extremely lethal, and a word will not slow you down for half your life. He is harsh, always seeing others as the worst, always in a posture ready to fight, and never let go of anyone’s negligence and mistakes. He hurt you and talked about your shortcomings. He said that this is for your own good, not a loved one. Who would say your shortcomings? You must realize that you are very humble and incompetent.
This kind of person with a desire to control is an insecure person. Because he is insecure, he needs your cooperation and proof. He doesn’t love you, but this kind of love will make you feel unable to breathe. He will trap you in a cage. You will only have a peaceful life if you obey.
Not suitable for the crowd: those who are relatively independent, do not want others to be restrained, who already lack self-confidence, and need encouragement; those who cannot stand severe criticism and harsh criticism; and those with strong self-esteem.
Suitable for the crowd: the character is more docile and does not mind the other party controlling the situation; the strong and the strong, the style is sharper.
Minefield No. 8: Emotional Pansy
He is particularly compassionate and cherishes jade, and like Brother Bao’s reincarnation, if it is a woman, it belongs to his care. He has a lot of female friends, he is easy to sympathize with others, and he must worry about everyone’s affairs and take care of them. You can’t express dissatisfaction with any of his friends, otherwise he will feel that you are not too careful, so many gentle and considerate women outside are waiting to occupy your position, and you are still picky and simply don’t know whether to die or die.
He is a prodigal son, constantly running between many women, all love ends without disease. His love experience is full of tricks, enough to produce a book, he has read countless people, and his ex-girlfriend is like a neighbour in the neighbourhood. If you go to the street, you can find three or five, and you can’t tell it for three days and three nights. He said that he didn’t know what love was before he met you, and that only meeting you was his destination. At this time, you began to wonder if he had said that to all the women before, and what could prove that you would not be one of them.
In fact, you really have no way to prove it. A person’s behaviour pattern and his attitude towards feelings have long been fixed, and it is extremely difficult to change. He may always live according to the kind of posture he is used to. People who have experienced too much love and whose love objects are too complex tend to deviate from the relatively simple and sacred imagination of their feelings, and they will be more likely to become numb and stylized. To accept such a person, and not care about the past experiences, is indeed a test for some people.
A man with a pansy of feelings will be a good friend for the rest of his life, but being a husband is a test. You always need to struggle to find your place in the circle of his female friends, and you also need to give in to your girlfriends from time to time. He made a good man, but he threw the biggest burden to you.
Not suitable for the crowd: those who taboo their own men from interacting with other women; those who believe that there is no real benefit between men and women; those who hate men and women; those who are jealous and cannot tolerate their lovers having shared feelings with so many people; those who are simple in character and are not suitable for complex emotional ways.
Suitable for the crowd: those who believe that the prodigal son will return and are confident in his feelings; those who are super generous and don’t care about each other’s emotional experiences; those who pursue their own space between men and women; and those who have countless friends of the opposite sex.
Minefield No. 9: Inferior Companions
He has a group of all sorts of friends, like bad companions, complicated background companions etc. You always think that their faces are abomination, their words are boring, and they are all people you can’t appreciate. His friends will not encourage him to work hard and concentrate on his career. They will only find him crazy and ask him to help clean up the mess. They tell him that men can’t spoil women. They are easily introducing his girlfriend to him, encouraging him to have trouble with you. His friends have given him a bad influence, but he just likes them, doesn’t like those who really have connotations, and people who are stronger than themselves.
Maybe he is very good to you now and will not listen to his friends ‘ opinions. You think he is the best one in their group. You don’t believe that your friends have broken him, and hope he draws a line with them.
No, it’s not exactly that simple. A person’s taste in choosing a friend depends on his inner taste. What kind of friends a person has, what kind of life philosophy he has? No matter how different they look now, in fact, they are all a class of people and affect each other. There are too few people who are out of the sludge without dyeing, and those who really have a mind will not choose to stand in the sludge at all.
Not suitable for the crowd: those who have high requirements for the quality of men; those who cannot appreciate the chaos of men’s social relations.
Suitable for the crowd: like many friends, and the three religions are acceptable; the personality is simple and there are no complex requirements.
Minefield No. 10: Mystery Background
You know from a third party or an online platform. Your life before that did not intersect. Your knowledge of him is limited to his own introduction and what you can see. You don’t know anything about his background, past, history, and family. He never talks about the past in front of you, you only have his present, and you can’t understand the past. Whatever he says, you just must believe what he says. You want to conclude a lifetime with him, but a man who suddenly landed to the present day really makes you unable to completely believe it.
At this time, you must know how to protect yourself and learn to observe. In this society, the enhancement of personnel mobility has caused many cross-regional exchanges, and many emotional liars have left dew love in one place after another in this way. Living with a man with a vague background forever is like holding a time bomb, and I can’t be sure when it will erupt.
Not suitable for the crowd: those who want a stable married life and are not willing to take risks.
Suitable for the crowd: bold and careful, who dare to try.