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Late Wedding – Chapter 2 – Only the handsome shabby prince

“You are not rich until you have a rich heart.”
― Roy T. Bennett

Chapter 2 – Only the handsome shabby prince

“The one who walks in the front, gentle and pleasant, is the son of my dad colleague named Mo Wen Yang. The one behind is the friend he brought with him, named Jiang Yan.” Wen Hao Xue gave a live commentary to the sisters.

Since Jiang Yan was more handsome than Mo Wen Yang, everyone rushed forward.

After an hour, all the people gnashed their teeth,muttered their mouths, and retreated with a gray head and a lost face.

“What is it? Isn’t it just a shabby guy!”

“This suit he came to us to wear today was lent to him by his friend.”

“There is no money, only handsome farts.”

“Don’t talk about the house and car, according to his unstable job and salary, he is not a civil servant, and it is difficult to support his family.”

Wen Man thought later that if Jiang Yan hadn’t settled down, she probably wouldn’t even look at him. The main reason is that he can make her a group of sisters and aunts get angry then its enough to make her look different.

Leaving the page in his hand, stretching her neck from the shadow, Wen Man carefully landed on the shabby prince with her eyes through the big glasses.

The height should be more than 1.8 meters, silver-striped shirt, blue and black trousers, polished leather shoes, and the top button of the shirt has been pulled out, revealing a small graceful collarbone.

The facial features are clear, the nose is sharp, the brows have a touch of arrogance, and the corners of the lips have a touch of coldness.

Accidentally, the two of them touched their eyes.

Wen Man’s head drooped immediately, her eyes facing the book spread out on her lap. As the noise in the living room became louder and louder, she moved the stool to the balcony to make it quiet.

Unexpectedly, the floor-to-ceiling window of the balcony suddenly pushed away,and a figure flashed next to her.

“When someone loves you, the way they talk about you is different. You feel safe and comfortable.”
― Jess C. Scott

The small clusters of gentle and beautiful eyebrows, and the small raised corners of the eyes can see the shabby settler leaning on the balcony railing, sighing like a hair dryer:

“The scenery is beautiful, but the wind is a little bit strong and I feel hungry.”

The sound of grunt and hunger came from this charming and handsome man.

The shabby prince is really a dilapidated, and the Wen family said that it is useless only to be handsome.

The problem is that when Wen Man listened to this voice, she remembered that she couldn’t eat dinner because of her mother’s urgency, so she was hungry and couldn’t hold it anymore.

She looked carefully into the living room, everyone in Wen’s family was doing everything they could to get up to the marriage. At this time, if you shout hungry, you will not only be horrified, but you will also definitely be embarrassed by Xu Yu’e. Forget it. Wen Man placed the book lightly, stood up, and prepared to sneak out to find food for himself.

However, the shabby household turned his head and stared at her. A pair of mixed eyes of various colors made Wen Man’s spine look a little hairy. This person is obviously going hungry, and he seems to be a little bit resentful. It may be that when he was brought to Wen’s house, he thought he could be invited to eat a meal, but he didn’t expect to be hungry without the free meal.

“If you don’t mind eating instant noodles—” Wen Man opened his lips carefully, paying attention to the situation in the living room.

However, this shabby price is so arrogant, can he accept the suggestion of eating instant noodles?

The tall and tall figure flashed quickly, grabbed one of her hands, nodded like garlic, and said, “No problem, as long as it can fill the stomach, anything is fine.”

This poor man can’t even afford instant noodles.

Wen Man doesn’t know how to describe this momentary complex feeling in her heart: pity for the same illness?

All the people in the living room moved to the study room to watch Mo Wen Yang perform calligraphy. Wen Man walked to the door and opened the door, and the two of them slipped out smoothly.

Outside the house, as he said, the night scene was beautiful, and a round of moonlight shone on the road in the community, shining the shadows of the two. The wind is a little bit stronger, and the green plants in the community can be heard rustling, making it seem quiet.

“The moon is a loyal companion.
It never leaves. It’s always there, watching, steadfast, knowing us in our light and dark moments, changing forever just as we do. Every day it’s a different version of itself.
Sometimes weak and wan, sometimes strong and full of light.
The moon understands what it means to be human.
Uncertain. Alone. Cratered by imperfections.”
― Tahereh Mafi

When you reach the corner of the intersection, there is a small shop.

Wen Man touched the pockets of her jeans. She happened to have more than a dozen dollars for change after buying a paintbrush for Wen Yuan. She discussed with the owner of the commissary: “I want two bowls of Master Kong beef noodles. Can you flush us with hot water?  We put the fabric ourselves. By the way, I also want a pack of mustard greens.”

After the commissary owner received the money, he followed her instructions and helped her get everything ready. So, Wen Man began to unpack the noodle bowls and put ingredients in the two-noodle bowls. In the eyes of others, her way of discharging is a bit strange, instead of putting all the ingredients in one piece according to the instructions and soaking in hot water. The commissary owner and Jiang Yan watched her keep busy with the two-noodle bowls with a pair of small hands. They were surprised and talking from the heart: Does it take so much trouble to eat instant noodles?

“Okay,meal is ready to serve.” After a few minutes, Wen Man smiled in satisfaction with a pair of crescent eyes.

When Jiang Yan took the noodle bowl she handed over, there was a pause in her smiling eyes that looked like crescent moons, and the handsome face seemed to flash with a daze.

“Let’s sit there for dinner, don’t hinder others from doing business.” Wen Man lowered his head, holding his noodle bowl and sat on the stone piers on both sides of the street.

Jiang Yan took two slender legs and sat beside her in a few steps, he follows her to lift the cover of the noodle bowl. The scent rushing on the face is like the taste of ordinary instant noodles, with a touch of more appetizing. Looking down the noodles and dried vegetables floating on the bowl seemed to be soaked just right, and there was no slick. Jiang Yan stirred the plastic fork in the noodles, picked it up and sucked it into his mouth. His eyes were stunned: delicious!

Instant noodles and dried vegetables that are just soaked in this way are not something ordinary people can make.

Wen Man ate slowly beside him, to the level of gentleness, without making the slightest sound of eating noodles.

Jiang Yan’s stomach was very hungry. The noodles were delicious. He raised the noodle bowl and grumbled and drank the soup in the noodle bowl to the bottom in one breath. After eating clean, he was also a little startled: he never knew instant noodles could be so delicious.

Wen Man only ate half a bowl, took out a package of tissues from her jacket bag, and gave him one.

Jiang Yan folded a stack of paper towels and took them to wipe the corners of his mouth slowly. After hesitating, he asked, “Do you often eat instant noodles? ”

Her skills in making instant noodles and eating instant noodles are superb and should be after a long time of practice. Ordinary people probably think so.

After Wen Man froze for a while, she smiled amusedly: “How is it possible?”

Jiang Yan saw her smile,and this time he was not startled. A complex calmness appeared in her eyes when he looked at her: “You–very good.”

Wen Man was even more stunned: “Hey?”

“Everyone in your family knows my situation, only you are willing to invite me to eat.”  When Jiang Yan said this, there was nothing ashamed of his poverty on his handsome face.

Wen Man blinked his eyelashes slightly curled up: This shabby prince is really extraordinary arrogance.

CHAPTER 3 – THE THROBBING OF A BOWL OF INSTANT NOODLES BREWING

Late Wedding – Chapter 1 – Blind Date Banquet

“A wedding is and event, but marriage is a life.”
By Myles Munroe

Chapter 1 – Blind Date Banquet

Early in the morning, when Wen Man left the house, hers mother Xu Yu’e chased her to the door and said:

“Man Man, Yuan Yuan needs two brushes and a box of gouache paint. When you get off work, take a detour to the stationery store which is next door to the Academy of Fine Arts to buy it back.”

After saying this, Xu Yu’e didn’t wait for her eldest daughter to agree, and she turned it back into the house without giving her eldest daughter money.

This is mostly the case since childhood. Wen Man is the boss of the family, and she gives her sister Wen Yuan everything. This law seems to be taken for granted by her parents and her sister.

Wen Man opened hers wallet and looked inside, less than a hundred dollars. Think of the stationery store next door to the Academy of Fine Arts, which is the most expensive art supplies stationery store in the city. She folded back into her room, took out the salary seal she had just got the day before yesterday, and pulled out another two hundred dollars from it. In this way, she has no pocket money this month except for the maintenance fees paid to her parents.

When I arrived at the company, the early summer of my college classmate and best friend took Wen Man’s shoulder: “My husband is not at home tonight, I don’t want to cook, how about going to eat Japanese sushi together?”

“No money.” Wen Man speaking honest.

“You only got your salary the day before yesterday.” Chu Xia was a little surprised, and immediately understood, sighed, “Man Man, uncle and auntie are really partial. Don’t you resist?”

The corners of Wen Man’s lips were slightly pressed, and her smile was like a lady in a TV series.

Chu Xia knew that this best friend was not outstanding. Only when she was smiling, hers two black eyes were like crescent moons, and she could kill men, women, and children. It’s just that Wen Man’s smile can only be spread to people who she trusts. The average person sees Wen Man, with a thin face, big black glasses covering most of his face, and she likes to hide in the corner, like an invisible person.

I remember that there was a reunion, and she and Wen Man were present. As a result, when it was about to end, the host counted the people present and handed out gifts, shouting: “Hey, didn’t Wen Man come tonight?”

Wen Man raised hers hand silently in the corner: “Yes.”

The host was so ashamed that he almost dug a hole in the ground.

…………………

“Chu Xia.I heard that you are going to Bei Huo with your husband.” Wen Man interrupted her best friend’s wandering in a word.

Wen Man’s voice is born, like a little sheep, soft and fluffy. Her voice, some people hate, some people like. Chu Xia likes it, but Wen Man’s family, especially Wen Man’s younger sister, hates her sister’s voice.

Chu Xia is often surprised after listening to the voice of a good friend, before saying:“ What’s wrong? Have you figured it out? Finally thought of leaving that home?”

Wen Man sipped her lips and did not answer.

Chu Xia hugged her shoulder: “If you want, come with us, and  three of us will take care of each other.”

“I don’t paint dreams or nightmares, I paint my own reality.”
By Frida Kahlo

In the evening, punch in at the company on time to get off work. Chu Xia accompanied Wen Man and took a detour to the most expensive stationery store in the city. He bought Wen Yuan two brushes and a box of pigments, both good brands, and removed more than 230 dollars at the checkout. Wen Man thought: Fortunately, I brought an extra two hundred dollars.

Chu Xia complained about her again: “All the money you make is invested in your sister. When she is famous, will she repay you?”

“Our whole family has invested in her alone, not just me.” Wen Man used this to prevaricate her best friend’s concern.

“Cheh! With her ability, I don’t believe she can be admitted to the Central Academy of Fine Arts.” Chu Xia raised the bar; I really can’t see it.

“Better than me. I’m just a second grade of universities. She is a key high school, and she should have been able to go to first grade of universities.” Wen Man said sternly.

“I really want to curse her that she can’t get in to the first grade of universities.” Chu Xia vowed to die.

Wen Man pursed her lips: “Immoral.”

Wen Man often made a witty remark in silence.

Chu Xia felt that after so many years of dating, she still couldn’t see what kind of person Wen Man was.

When the two wanted to get on the bus and go to a Japanese sushi restaurant in the city center, Wen Man’s cell phone rang suddenly.

“Mom, what can I do for you? I am tonight——–”

“You hurry to your second uncle‘s house now, all the girls must attend the family gathering tonight.” Xu Yu’e finished speaking, and without her daughter’s reply, she “snapped” and hung up the phone.

“What’s wrong?” Chu Xia asked.

“My mother asked me to go to my second uncle’s house. We have a big family gathering tonight.” Wen Man made a bitter face, “I’m sorry, Chu Xia.”

“Haha! It’s okay, I’m used to being put on the plane by you, at most the next meal on you, I still earn.” Chu Xia grinned generously, and then looked at Wen Man’s clothes, “If you have a big family gathering, are you sure you going to wear it like this?”

Wen Man works in the mounting room, often stained with some paint or something on his clothes, so he works in the most ordinary clothes. Like today, a polka-dot shirt has been stained with some colored paste on the pendulum, which cannot be washed off, and the jeans below have been smeared with two ink spots.

“It doesn’t matter, it’s just a family gathering.” Wen Man glanced at himself and shook his head, “If I go back for a change, I will be scolded by my family for being late.”

Therefore, Wen Man took another bus after breaking up with Chu Xia at the bus station.

Wen Man’s second uncle, named Wen Shirong, holds a clerical position in the city hall, and is one of the richest in the Wen family. Wen Shirong’s house is in Shengtang Garden. The market price is 10,000 dollars per square meter. It is located on the first floor of the community, with five bedrooms and three living rooms, and a small garden.

But if possible, Wen Man never wanted to step into the door of his second uncle’s house.

This is to say that Wen Man’s grandfather died early, and there was only one grandma living in the old house. Wen Man’s father, Wen Shixuan, was the eldest son of the Wen family. He was supposed to become the eldest of the Wen family after the death of his parents, taking charge of the whole family’s affairs. However, Wen Shixuan lived very poorly, and he and his wife opened a grocery store, barely making ends meet. Therefore, the boss of a family who is now in charge has become the second brother Wen Shirong.

Wen Shixuan couldn’t hold his head up in the family, and Xu Yu’e was also humiliated even though she was called the sister-in-law. The two failed to give birth to a son to inherit the incense, so all hopes were placed on the two daughters. Although, Wen Man is the oldest of the seven girls of the Wen family’s generation but is the least promising one. Wen Man couldn’t even go to a key high school. She only took a second-grade universities, and the company she came out to work for was mediocre. She is twenty-nine years old today, and she couldn’t even talk about a partner.

Xu Yu’e felt that her eldest daughter was humiliated, and she poured all her thoughts into her second daughter Wen Yuan. At least Wen Yuan went to a key high school, and the target was a key university in Beijing.

Wen Man rang the doorbell of the second uncle’s house.

With a tick, it was Wen Haoxue, the daughter of second uncle, who opened the door for her.

Wen Haoxue is twenty-two this year and is studying at a media university in the city. Her appearance is biased towards her mother Zhang Qiuyan, with a round face, long wavy hair, and a pair of beautiful eyes slightly like red phoenix eyes.

Wen Man was slightly surprised: Wen Haoxue was at home tonight? Why did Wen Haoxue wear high heels on her feet and red makeup on her face, as if she was going out to a banquet?

“Sister Man Man, didn’t your mother tell you anything?” It seemed that it was Wen Haoxue who should express amazement when she looked at the clothes and pants that Wen Man had contaminated.

“What’s wrong, today is not just an ordinary family gathering?” Wen Man asked, and the pen and paint she bought for Wen Yuan were still in the plastic bag she was carrying.

As soon as Wen Haoxue looked at her expression, she guessed that she didn’t know anything. She first pulled her into the door, and then said in detail: “My dad, brought the sons of two colleagues over.”

“Hey?” Wen Man was pulled straight by her and walked all the way to the living room.

Inside, there are three generation of Wen family men and women inside and outside, men in uniform formal suits and ties, and women are all dressed to the nines. Such a large line-up scared Wen Man very much.

“Man Man, why are you dressed like this?” Xu Yu’e saw her daughter for the first time and jumped up and pointed. At this call, everyone heard the voice and focused their eyes on Wen Man. Xu Yu’e regretted it, lost his face, and suddenly sat back in his seat.

Wen Haoxue’s mother, Zhang Qiuyan, came over and seemed to ask with concern: “What’s going on, Haoxue?”

Wen Haoxue said in front of everyone in the living room: “Sister Man Man doesn’t know what the party tonight is for. The elder aunt didn’t seem to tell her.”

Wen Man frowned and wanted to open his mouth.

Xu Yu’e has rushed to say: “I have ordered Yuanyuan to let her call and tell her sister, be sure to remember to go home and change clothes.”

Wen Yuan saw her mother kick the ball on her head, and her face didn’t change: “I called my sister, but my sister didn’t listen. If you don’t believe me, you can ask Shu Ya. I also asked Shu Ya to call Wen Man once.”

After receiving Wen Yuan’s wink, Liao Shu Ya, who was reading a magazine with Wang Yun Yun, heard this, and her face did not change color: “I called Sister Man Man, sister Man Man must be in the car, and didn’t hear it.”

Several people rolled the responsibilities and returned to Wen Man herself. Wen Man smiled slightly without showing her teeth.

Seeing that the elder daughter didn’t care at all, Xu Yu’e heart telling herself that Wen Man is still far from their expectations.

“Since this is the case, Sister-in-law, let Hao Xue borrow a set of clothes for Man Man to wear.” Zhang Qiu Yan said openly and showed the demeanour of the mother of the family in a cordial manner.

Xu Yu’e frowned, thinking: If she accepts it, she can’t swallow this breath in her heart. If she doesn’t accept it, others will say that she only cares about her own face and ignores her daughter. What to say, this wronged one has to swallow it.

Wen Hao Xue received her mother’s eyes, and smiled unsmilingly to pull Wen Man into her room.

However, Wen Man took off her hands and said to everyone, “Thank you for your kindness. But Hao Xue’s clothes are a bit too big for me, I don’t think able to fit me.”

HAHAHAHAHAHAHA——

The first person to laugh out is the youngest and only boy in the Wen family. Unfortunately, it is a grand-children named Wang Shao Han. Thirteen years old this year, studying in the standard five. On weekdays, he is held in the palm of his parents like a little emperor. He has always been heartless. If you want to laugh, you can laugh, and if you want to cry, you say he doesn’t understand his mind, but he is very clever.

When everyone saw it, they also knew what Wang Shao Han was laughing at. Among the few girls, Wen Hao Xue is the plumpest and Wen Man is the slimmest. If it hadn’t been for Zhang Qiu Yan spending a lot of money to buy Wen Hao Xue brand-name shirts, with Wen Hao Xue’s figure, wearing Wen Man’s unbranded uniform clothes would have been even uglier than pigs.

The expressions of Wen Hao Xue and her daughter fell at the same time.

Wen Man didn’t think at all that they could be kind enough to borrow her clothes.  In some ways, her parents are just foolhardy, and her second uncle’s family is cunning like a fox. Wen Man, who had already seen through this, walked from her various eyes to a stool near the balcony, habitually hiding herself in the shadow.

This blind date feast, to put it bluntly, Uncle Wen is looking for so many girls, but to set off his daughter Wen Hao Xue. Other girls, it’s not that they don’t know the thoughts of the second uncle family, but they don’t want to lose the opportunity to fly on the branches and become phoenix. But she Wen Man has self-knowledge. If there were Cinderella and Prince Charming everywhere in this world, it wouldn’t be called Cinderella Fairy tale.

Click — the door opened, Wen Shi Rong was in front, and the two handsome and upright figures behind him firmly attracted the girls’ eyes.

“The second one is obviously more handsome.”

CHAPTER 2 – ONLY THE HANDSOME SHABBY PRINCE

How to turn a hobby or interest into a career?

“If I have a passion I can achieve, it’s probably less a passion and something more akin to a hobby, for any real passion must bigger than my ability to achieve it.”
― Craig D. Lounsbrough

Interest, is it possible to become a career?

Once upon a time, one of my friend called Frendy is hooked on PS, and when he was free from work, he turned on the computer and pondered for himself. Now, in addition to simple keying to change the background, and difficult picture processing, it was a cinch for him.

So, friends all ridiculed: “Your technology is so mature now, just change your career to do art!” Frendy replied solemnly: “Although I am very interested in PS, I am not sure I will like it once I do such a job, and I am not sure how well I can do in the work I am interested in…”

In the profession, many people talk about their interests. Some people say, “Interest is the best teacher, so you have to do what you are interested in.” Some people say, “Interest can never become a profession, it can only be an amateur.” Others said: “I am interested in a lot of things, I like history, psychology, photography, … in addition to my work.” ……

So, can interests and occupations only be taken one? The answer is no. In fact, using your interests as a career can maximize your potential and motivation. If it is said that using interest as a profession will destroy interest, it can only mean that it is not a real interest, but a short-term obsession.

If you like to drink, you can study carefully and strive to become a professional taster;

If you like to tell stories, then try to work hard on the road to becoming a screenwriter;

If you like sushi,then play the spirit of the craftsman and become the god of sushi.

If you like to drink, you can study carefully and strive to become a professional taster;

If you like to tell stories, then try to work hard on the road to becoming a screenwriter;

If you like sushi,then play the spirit of the craftsman and become the god of sushi.

Jiro Ono, born in 1925, is the world’s oldest Michelin three-star sushi chef, and his status in Japan is also quite noble. Throughout his life, he has been making sushi for more than 56 years, so his spirit and skills in sushi are also the first in the world.

Jiro Ono once said, “Once you decide on your occupation…you must immerse yourself in your work.You have to fall in love with your work.Never complain about your job.You must dedicate your life to mastering your skill.That’s the secret of success…and is the key to being regarded honorably.” Such a dedicated, strict, and pursuit of excellence has made a generation of masters.

It can be seen that with your enthusiasm and professional craftsman spirit, interests and hobbies can achieve a career.

Why once you turn your interest into a career, you don’t have interest?

Many people have the urge to develop their interests into careers, but they just stay on impulse, and in the end, they did not make such a choice, just like Frendy. What’s the reason?

Summarized the following four reasons:

“People tend to be generous when sharing their nonsense, fear, and ignorance. And while they seem quite eager to feed you their negativity, please remember that sometimes the diet we need to be on is a spiritual and emotional one. Be cautious with what you feed your mind and soul. Fuel yourself with positivity and let that fuel propel you into positive action.”
― Steve Maraboli

Anxiety due to not meeting the competency requirements

Because most people don’t have many requirements for their interests and hobbies, but after becoming a profession, people’s requirements for this matter will increase. For example, if you like to host, it doesn’t matter if you forget your words on the live broadcast on Yingke, and if you become the anchor of the news network, you will feel powerless and incompetent, and then it is easy to be anxious.

In order to meet the requirements of competency, frustration in the process of raising the level

After anxiety, people began to strive to improve their abilities and strengthen their professional skills. However, it is the same in any field. The closer you are to the top level, the more efforts are required, and the effect of improvement is less obvious. This trend is easy to cause frustration and negative emotions.

After upgrading the level,the return obtained by paying is not up to expectations and the loss is generated

When we experience frustration, we may get better and get a certain income as a result. But people always have a psychological expectation of earnings. If the income brought is less than their own expectations, they will think that they have made their interests and hobbies a career choice and paid a lot, while other people who have a common hobby with themselves have not chosen this career but have earned much more than themselves. In the long run, it is easy to retreat.

Do not want to lose yourself for professional literacy, resulting in depression

Once you put your interests on the path of professionalism, you will be dominated by more other factors, thus losing your autonomy for this interest. Akira Toriyama, the author of “Dragon Ball”, when he drew the section “Defeating the Great Devil”, he felt that the story could end here, but the editor Torishima Kazuhiko came to the door and said that the reader liked it, and it was not allowed to end. Akira Toriyama said that Sun Wukong is already the strongest on earth, how to draw again? Torishima Kazuhiko said: Let him be the strongest in the universe.

In the end, many people said that Dragon Ball’s worldview was inconsistent, and that the Buou war after Shalu was a dog’s tail. But Akira Toriyama himself was helpless, but there was nothing he could do.

If you want to turn your interest into a career, you must overcome the negative emotions brought about by the above four situations.

Below, let’s talk with everyone about how to turn your interest into a career that can make a living.

“If you create and market a product or service through a business that is in alignment with your personality, capitalizes on your history, incorporates your experiences, harnesses your talents, optimizes your strengths, complements your weaknesses, honors your life’s purpose, and moves you towards the conquest of your own fears, there is ABSOLUTELY NO WAY that anyone in this or any other universe can offer the same value that you do!”

By Walt F.J. Goodridge

Find what you really like

To turn your interest into a career, the first thing to do of course is to find what you really like. So, in the end, how can you really like it?

To lose weight, run fitness and practice yoga every day, is this really a favourite thing? Does not count. Because these things have a certain utilitarianism-in order to be thin, it is difficult to stick to it.

And what you really like should be the kind of thing you can’t help but want to do, spending time, energy, money, and thinking about it, and enjoying it. There is a saying in “Slam Dunk Master”: “It is very happy to play basketball, but victory can increase the happiness a hundred times.” When paying attention to the latter sentence, “victory increases happiness”, don’t forget to look at the previous sentence-back to the beginning, whether there is a victory or not, playing basketball itself can make you happy.

When you find your point of interest, you can make unremitting efforts in this direction, thereby cultivating professional nirvana that can support your survival.

If you want to cultivate nirvana, you must clarify your talents and interests, and then invest a lot of time at the intersection of hobbies and strengths. Not everyone succeeds by the same method. Not everything requires a high degree of talent, but it is undeniable that the combination of talent and interest will make our persistence easier and easier to get results.

So, how can we find what we really like?

American writer Stephen P.Robbins put forward five steps for a rational decision-making in the book “Decision Making”. I selected three of the more practical steps, hoping to help everyone clarify their talents and interests:

Determine the only clear goal

For example, you want to be a translator, or a teacher … too many options will greatly consume our self-control and miss opportunities in hesitation repeatedly. Therefore, a clear goal can prevent getting lost in the jungle of choice.

Understand

For example, when someone, who has been with you for many years, cheated again before marriage, you can’t let go of the feelings you have invested for many years and break up with someone. This falls into the trap of the sunk cost paradox. Like this psychology, it is easy for us to go further and further on the wrong path, and blindly adhere to what we neither like nor are good at. In fact, it is wise to stop loss in time.

Control the impact of emotions

Sometimes, we feel anxious because of the pressure of our peers; or we feel irritated because of the urging of our families. This kind of positive or negative emotions will have a great impact on the quality of our decision-making. At this point, what you must do is calm yourself down, distinguish the emotions from the facts, and then analyse them. Think back to your only long-term goal, and maybe you can make a few regretful decisions less.

How to make your interests provide value to others?

As mentioned in the topic of “turning interests into careers”, to make our interests provide value to others, don’t revel in the world of self: how beautiful my interests are, how great my dreams are, and how noble my feelings are … but think about it in turn, what can I do for others, this is the core of interest becoming a means of earning a living.

For example, if you like makeup, you are beautiful, and no one will pay for you, but if you teach others how to become beautiful and how to make up, someone will be willing to pay.

In other words, to turn your interest into a job, you can’t just consume it. You must create, share, and spread it. You must share the experience and skills you have invested time, energy, and money in your interests with your peers and provide them with value.

Many times, the reason why we say we don’t know what our interests are is because we don’t want to admit our interests. Because of some interests, it may not be recognized by society and culture, for example, watching plays, chasing stars, chatting gossip, playing games…but if you like it enough, there is a possibility of becoming a job.

If you want to turn your interest in Korean dramas into a job, you can’t just stay at the level of watching Korean dramas all day long. For example, Miss C, a drama madman, began to write drama reviews to express her concern about the drama, and then tried to write scripts, and finally went to the film and television company to make TV series. At this time, she no longer just followed the plot to cry and laugh at the audience but became the person who created the plot and guided others ‘ emotional ups and downs.

If you like to track star gossip, but just browse and forward such pastime behaviour, you will never make a breakthrough, but if you can open a gossip account, collect, organize, and share gossip information, keep up with hot spots, and research accurately, you will become a creator from a consumer, and creation is much more valuable than consumption.

Similarly, liking games can also become a job. If you just play well on your own, it is of no value to others, but if you can write game raiders, teach others how to play better, and even learn to develop games, things will be different.

One of the keys to turning your interest into a job is that you have to be not afraid to let others know who you are and what you really like.

Of course, after discovering your true self, you can also provide value to others, and you are one step closer to success.

Seize the opportunity

“In case you never get a second chance: don’t be afraid!” “And what if you do get a second chance?” “You take it!”
― C. JoyBell C.

In this day and age, it seems that it takes a little bit to do anything, especially to turn your interest into a career.

I have heard such a story:

There was a girl who was particularly talented in planning. Her freshman year, she became the Deputy Minister of the Ministry of Arts and Culture. She participated in the planning of the college’s orientation party, graduate party, and other large and small activities. In his sophomore year, he began to start an operation planning company with senior seniors. Although this made her an alternative in medical colleges, she always knew what she was going to do.

However, after graduation, she has lost the fierceness of being a newborn calf and not afraid of tigers and has become less confident after seeing more. Once, a company was recruiting talents in this area of market planning. The girl is in a dilemma. She likes the content of planning this post, but she is afraid of being rejected.

After hesitating and struggling all night, she finally decided to challenge her the next day. As a result, the same night that the resume was submitted, the headquarters replied to her. The other party asked her a few questions on the phone, and she answered very appropriately. Although she has not yet received a clear answer, the other party has the intention of throwing an olive branch to her.

If you hesitate anymore, the opportunity will pass. It can be said that hard work will not necessarily succeed, but hesitation and retreat will not succeed. Wang Anshi once said: “The magnificent, weird, and extraordinary view of the world often lies in peril, and people are rare, so people who have no ambitions can’t come.” You can’t see the scenery you want without firm determination.

Admittedly, opportunities are indeed very important, the so-called “plan things in people, do things in heaven”. But opportunities are often accidental and uncontrollable. To seize the opportunity, we need to be fully prepared, for example, to lay a solid foundation and reserve knowledge, etc., and these are precisely what we can control.

The fool misses the opportunity, the wise seize the opportunity, the successful create the opportunity, and the opportunity is only given to those who are prepared. So, how do we be a prepared person? This is what we are going to say next-to enhance strength and enhance professional skills.

Improve professional skills,from amateur enthusiasts to professionals

I believes that if you want to change from amateur to professional, you should complete at least the following 4 steps:

Learn to improve yourself step by step

“Never stop just because you feel defeated. The journey to the other side is attainable only after great suffering.”
― Santosh Kalwar ― 

Peter Drucker’s Theory of Management, put forward a Smart goal management principle, where the letter A represents “Attainable, that is, the achievability of the goal. For example, the interest in sales makes you an employee in the insurance industry, and your goal is to earn 1 million in a year! Then you must settle an account:

According to the commission ratio, a commission of 1 million will probably have to do 3 million performances. Then it will cost 250,000 a month, and MYR 8,300 a day. In other words, to complete the performance of MYR 8,300, it takes about 50 people to visit every day, and on average, a customer must talk for at least 20 minutes, and 50 customers need more than 16 hours, which is not counting the road time. Can you do it?

Therefore, the goal cannot be imagined out of thin air, but needs to be set by a plan that can be achieved. In other words, you can’t think about things from 100 to 1000 at the stage of going from 0 to 1.

Enough focus

“Focus on your strengths, not your weaknesses.
Focus on your character, not your reputation.
Focus on your blessings, not your misfortunes.”
― Roy T. Bennett

Concentration is to gather all your time, mind, physical strength, wisdom, and thoughts on one thing day after day, year after year, and persevere. This is also what the law of specialization wants to tell us: only if you are specialized in a field can you develop. So, no matter what industry you do, you must aim at being the top of the industry. Only when you can specialize will you grow up to be outstanding.

Malie Kondo, a famous finishing consultant in Japan, began reading housewives’ magazines from kindergarten to the third grade of junior high school. When she was 19 years old, she set up her own consulting company to provide finishing solutions for customers who need to organize their office and living environments. In 2010, Malie Kondo wrote a book about her experience in tidying up her room. Once published, it was translated into many languages and became popular all over the world.

Just because she does housework, she is sought after by the world. It is because Kondo specializes in storage that she has done an ordinary but necessary thing to the extreme, solving the problems of housewives around the world.

Repeated and productive efforts

“Becoming an influential personality at work is much more important than becoming a hardworking person!”
― Abhishek Ratna

They all say that everyone is equal in front of the work face, but the one who eventually succeeds will never have to work hard behind them. Take actress Sun Li,her several hit dramas “Zhen Huan Biography”, “Hot Mom Biography”, and “Mi Yue Biography” all made her a hot topic for the audience. The key factor lies in her hard-working attitude to life:

When “Zhen Huan Chuan” hit the air, director Zheng Xiaolong once said: “In the filming process of “Zhen Huan Chuan” for more than 4 months, she never had a complete meal with Sun Li. Everyone ate together. She always left halfway through eating and went back to recite her lines.”

When filming “Hot Mom Biography”, Sun Li said in an interview that she really spent three years studying the script, lines, and performance of the play.

When it came to “Mi Yue Biography”, members of her family revealed on Weibo that Sun Li was frantically memorizing her lines and the news of the play at home before filming.

There is a famous “repetition law” that also reveals this truth: any behaviour and thinking, if you continue to repeat, it will continue to strengthen, and finally enter a person’s subconscious, and become a fact, the so-called practice makes perfect. The military parade on September 3 last year was a good example. It is said that the troops participating in the exercise started training for 10 hours a day as early as January, and finally achieved the wonderful performance of the military parade troops.

Seeing this, should I review it well? The “I have worked hard” that I often talk about may be just a flash, or is it just a verbal expression, just a flash in my heart, turning around but throwing it away again?

Summary

A lot of things to play amateur, we will find it very interesting, but when we think of it as a profession, we will feel that we can’t do it anymore. Because for interests and hobbies, people usually only spend 20% of their energy, they can achieve 60% of their achievements, and it is easy to obtain satisfaction and a sense of accomplishment; but if they develop their interests into careers, they may have to spend 120% of their energy to achieve 80% of their achievements at the professional level.

Therefore, to turn our interest into a career, we need to make up our minds to do the following steps:

Do these four points, basically, you can turn your interest into a career.

“My goals may seem impossibly far-fetched when really they’re not.

Break them down into steps and see how I accomplish great things.

I can easily reach from A to B.

I can manage from B to C.

I can then make it from C to D.

And so eventually, I will find my way from A to Z.”

By Richelle E. Goodrich

What is the difference between a job and a career?

To be a successful employee, you must understand the difference between a job and a career. Every human being has their own skills.

Some apply the skills acquired by asking for jobs that offer them positions that match their strengths. There are also those who continue to work even though they are not very interested in the work being done.

The best thing for an employee is to do the job they are interested in without feeling compelled. If this is the case, they will work under stress and discomfort.

A person usually holds several jobs in their career. It is usually easier to change jobs in the same field of work that defines a career. However, changing careers is more difficult and may require people to start down the ladder in a new career.

What is career?

“Career” is defined as occupation or profession, esp. someone who needs special training, followed by someone’s daily job. A person’s progress or general action through life or through phases of life, as in some profession or occupation

What is job?

“Job” is defined as a piece of work, esp. specific tasks performed as part of one’s work routine or for an agreed price. It could be job positions in full -time or part -time positions, anything that is expected or required to be done; on duty; responsibility. It is usually considered related to remunerative employment (and sometimes even formal education).

An occupation is defined as anything that is expected or obligated by a person; a piece of work, especially a specific activity performed as part of one’s work routine or for an agreed price. Through employment one can obtain basic assistance and that of his family or friends. Employment can also be seen as a contract between an employer and an employee. In a commercial enterprise, the basic purpose of employment is to create a profit for the employer, and the employee contributes labor to the enterprise, in return for payment of wages, or stock options.

comparison chart for CAREER VS. JOB

5 DIFFERENCES BETWEEN WORK & CAREER

MOST OF THE WORK IS BORING

When you work for something you don’t like, you’ll spend a lot of time looking at the clock, counting the seconds of time that go by until your work hours end. A very noticeable difference is when you work in a field that you are really interested in.

When you take the time to work on what you are really good at, you will not realize as if time is running so fast. Because it is something you are interested in, you will try to improve the performance of yourself and the company.

The difference between work and career, work makes you feel bored quickly and always feel sleepy. Meanwhile, a career gives you a sense of happiness so that all your work will be produced perfectly and wholeheartedly.

FOR A LONG PERIOD

Have you ever asked yourself, do you work for a short period of time or for a long period of time?

If you choose to work in the long run, you will think about a lot of things. Where it will have an impact in the future. You need to plan and think about how the skills and interests you have will help the company as well as yourself to move forward.

The difference between a job and a career is that when you only work for a short period of time, the motivation to produce good work is hard to fully attain. However, it will be better if you have a plan to continue your job for a long time when you are already comfortable with the job you are doing.

ADDING EXPERIENCE

The difference between work and career is that career-minded people will not care about money, instead they care about the experience they can get from more experienced employees.

They are willing to learn new things to improve their work performance. But, if you are a person who works just to supplement your monthly money, you are among the losers. This is because, even if you are a good employee, your knowledge will only be at the same level. Compared to people who always exchange knowledge with other colleagues.

This diligent nature of asking will help them in improving and enhancing their skills in doing their job in the days to come.

MONDAY BLUES

“Invest just 10% of your earnings in ‘your own’ handpicked stocks …. You’ll realise that you have beaten ‘Monday Blues’ for the life. ”

By Sandeep Sahajpal

Ahh Monday morning. Certainly not everyone’s favourite day, but not to the workers who love the work they do. When you do work that really suits your interests, you will feel excited to start work every morning and make your week productive and more effective.

Unlike when you’re just at work but don’t like the job you’re doing, you’ll feel like your weekend break isn’t enough and you’re most lazy to start the day every time a Monday morning arrives.

IMPROVE SELF PERFORMANCE

When you are in a work situation that you don’t like, you will spend a lot of time looking for opportunities to change to a new job. Job hunting is very tiring and hard to find in a short time.

If you are looking for a new job while you are still working in the old company, you will steal time while working to find vacancies in other companies, which is a bad deed. Unlike when you are in an organization you love, you will spend time and energy in developing your own reputation, building more networks, and have strong goals to improve the skills you have.

What you see through the difference between work and career is not a problem. However, the admin recommends you all to research and understand yourself first and find out where exactly your self -skills are located. You don’t have to force yourself to do something you don’t like. Remember that this life is only once, never waste it while your heart is still beating.

How to work efficiently and not work overtime at home?

The survey shows that 50% of people who work from home because of the epidemic are out of balance between work and life due to increased workload and time. Are you one of them? How can I adapt to and manage the new routine of Where are 10 suggestions?

Feudal countries and restrictions on movement around the world make most people start work from home (WFH), and some people are happy while others face many difficulties. People who have children at home and need to take care of work and family face greater pressure. Being unable to go out, an unknown future, worrying about the health of your family, worrying about losing your job, etc. are all sources of stress.

One of the many effects of the sudden change is that when not in the office, people need to be seen as contributing to the company, having a productive and beneficial feeling about their work. If you don’t do more and take longer, there will be a feeling of guilt, which also leads to people’s reluctance to leave the computer and work overtime. Yesterday, I saw my friend with a tired face and said: I really want to go back to work in the office. It’s just a dinner (and it’s 9pm to have time for dinner), and she has as many as 90 unread work messages!

How to adapt and manage the efficiency when working at home, while considering the personal physical and mental health? Experts make 10 suggestions:

Set boundaries

If there is enough space, please arrange a place dedicated to work at home and clearly explain the start and end of “office hours” with your family. Making notes on the work calendar with colleagues will also help promote a healthy work pattern in the team. Such measures will help to distinguish between the “work” and “family” parts of life. Similarly, this can also effectively prevent you from losing your focus at work. For people with children, it is particularly tricky to stay focused when working at home. You can consider arranging time with other family members to take turns taking care of the children.

Focus only on what really matters (in the moment) every day

You must clearly know what important matters and tasks you should pay attention to. At the beginning of each working day, decide which main tasks to perform first. Focus on these and communicate with your team, and encourage your colleagues to do the same, which will ensure that all of you work together for the same goal and focus on the right things. This will also help improve work efficiency, allowing you to get a greater sense of accomplishment at the end of the day, and more likely to “get out of work” and enjoy the night.

If necessary, say “No” to the job/task

In this rapidly changing era, the focus of work is changing almost every day. Therefore, you need to have the confidence and belief to say no to tasks that will not help you or the company achieve what is important at present. People who habitually overwork are usually considered “likable people”. In contrast, facing is not a priority now, you need to learn the skills of “SAY NO”. If you must need to perform one or two additional tasks, please try to do what you can do during the original working hours, while providing some solutions.

Let the people who live with you know the situation clearly

If you live with people who work different working hours, such as people who still need to go out to work during administration, or who don’t need to work at all now, misunderstandings can easily arise between them. Working from home does not mean that you can buy things for your family and chat with your roommates at any time. Therefore, let the people who live with you know your work and time, not only make you more responsible, but also let them respect your time.

Reduce interference at work

If the epidemic forces you to work from home for the first time, or if you have never completed your work in a “NINE TO FIVE” way, social media or notifications can easily be distracting. Understand that freeing up your energy to focus on one thing will be able to do better. Therefore, it is best to move your phone away from your desk, turn off computer-independent notifications, or delete apps that may be particularly distracting, rather than relying only on “WILLPOWER” to focus on work. You don’t want to complete only four or five hours of work in an eight-hour working day, so you must spend a few days of extra time to catch up.

Arrange lunch break

And don’t eat at your desk! If you can, please eat away from your desk, or go outdoors (balcony or own garden) to breathe fresh air. This will ensure that your lunch break feels like a real break, which will make you more motivated when you resume work in the afternoon.

After the end of the working day:

Close the door of the home office

Or put away the computer. Just saying that working hours are from 9 to 5 is not enough, at 5 o’clock in the afternoon, you must leave work and don’t go back until the next morning! Try not to mix family life with work. For many people, “doing a little work” late at night may be harmless. But this may be at the expense of destroying the quality of sleep, consuming more energy the next day, and may also reduce work efficiency.

Turn off and put away the working device

If you can’t do this, at least limit yourself to checking work emails only once or twice at night and log out Skype or other work information software. Use a personal laptop (if any) to handle personal things, such as online shopping, etc.

Do something for yourself

Making your mind understand that you have been working non-stop is the key. You can exercise or cook, in short, is any healthy thing you can do in a different environment from the work environment. Continuing to do this every day will let your brain know that the working day is over, and it is easier to distinguish between work and life.

Focus on positive and positive factors

We may have avoided paying too much attention to negative messages on social media because of working for a long time! Similarly, please try to focus on the positive factors in your life and things to be grateful for. In addition, think about things that you didn’t have time to do at home before, and spend as much time with your family as possible. In fact, we can always do something to distract ourselves and use our time in a healthy and productive way, rather than just browsing social media and feeling anxious due to terrible headlines or overwork.

“When you play, play hard;

when you work, don’t play at all.”

By Theodore Roosevelt
I hope you don’t let overwork damage your health at this difficult time. It is important to stay visionary and let go of those unrealistic expectations that you “THINK” your boss has for you. Then, using the above simple but strict measures, you will be able to better protect yourself from the dangerous consequences of overwork.

What is Home office? What are the advantages and disadvantages?

What is Home office?

Nowadays, there are more and more cases of home office. So, what exactly is home office? Home office refers to an office mode in which office workers handle office affairs based on the Internet at home under certain circumstances. It can also be called the SOHO family. These people are mainly a specific way of working formed under the development of modern communication methods. Everyone can handle company affairs in their own homes and connect to the Internet. No need to get up early to catch a car, go to the company to punch in and sign in, and even wear pyjamas in their living room to handle the work.

This home office is related to the situation experienced by most workers during the epidemic. It is also known as remote work, remote work, homework, etc. During the epidemic, COVID-19 affected many industries, but communicating through the Internet made people think that tasks that could only be completed in the office in the past can now be completed at home, improving the office efficiency of enterprises during the epidemic, which is the advantage of home office.

Over time, we have some thinking about home office, that is, when the epidemic is over and everything returns to stability again, should we continue to work at home? Can home office be applied to all types of work? There are still many such problems. In this article, we will delve into its pros and cons, and give some examples of home office, as well as how to correctly face home office in future work.

Advantages of Home Office:

Provide more time for production work

Home office allows people to eliminate or reduce commuting time and will have more time and energy to devote to work. If the home office is properly arranged, it can also reduce the interference that is usually encountered in the office, such as colleagues making loud calls, ringing phones, unknown odours, and unnecessarily strict policies. Home office makes workers less distracted by reducing chores, will be able to focus more on what they are doing, and get the job done quickly.

Better work-life balance

Studies have shown that work that can balance working hours with life well will improve employees’ satisfaction with work. It goes without saying that when you feel better about your work, you will be more motivated to do your work, which is also better for your mental state and physical health.

Save money

Because you don’t have to leave home, you can save a lot of costs. These include the cost of commuting, clothing costs, expensive takeaway costs or the cost of going to a restaurant.

Higher employee retention

You heard right, people who work from home are more likely to stay in the company rather than leave. Of course, the company can also give employees the right to work in the office, so that employees get more choices and higher freedom. As a result, working at home improves work and life satisfaction, making the employee turnover rate lower, and when employees don’t often leave the company, employers will also save the cost of hiring and training new employees.

If your office content wants to show a lot of information to customers, then you can build a personal website to work from home.

Disadvantages of Home Office:

Procrastination

One of the main reasons the company allows employees to work from home is to reduce their time in traffic. However, when working from home, you may not schedule your time correctly because of the lack of company management, so that you may overestimate the time you have by procrastinating while working. So, plan your every day, do the task at hand, and avoid procrastination.

Burnout

Sometimes we do a lot of work, but when there is no boundary between work responsibilities and housework, employees’ risk being more exhausted. This is because you feel that things are too complicated and cause too much pressure, but you still need to sit in front of the computer and work all day. In addition, you may also have some burnout symptoms including headache, irritability, increased errors, and reduced efficiency.

Collaboration is more difficult

Home office will be very difficult in terms of collaboration, but if you have the tools you need to communicate effectively with the team, this difficulty will be greatly reduced, such as the team collaboration function of the “online” website building system. Several other reasons why homework makes collaboration more difficult include unstable Internet connections, different time zones, and technical problems.

Loneliness

Sometimes, working side by side with colleagues makes work more interesting. One of the main factors to promote employee engagement and satisfaction is to maintain friendship with colleagues. In fact, a study has shown that loneliness affects employees’ performance, and maintaining a positive social communication relationship can alleviate loneliness in the workplace.

Although there are many shortcomings, in some industries, these shortcomings can be avoided, so the number of companies using home office has been steadily increasing, especially on the Internet, digital marketing, education and other industries.

Not only that, many freelancers today, such as illustrators, net celebrities, designers, writers, media big V, etc., are the way to work at home. Many of these home-working people have established their own personal websites to attract fans and customers. If you also want to use this way of office, then you can use the “online” website building platform to build your own personal website, choose a template and then replace the pictures and text content, and add the required functional sections!

Warm reminder:

Do not go out as much as possible, stay at home, for yourself and for everyone’s health. As for those who must walk outside, we must do a good job of protective measures, wear a mask to go out, wash hands frequently, drink more water, and ensure that the environmental space is ventilated.

About abortion

What is AN abortion?

Abortion is also called interruption of pregnancy or induced abortion, which leads to the death of the fetus. Doing a similar procedure when the embryo or fetus can survive on its own is medically called “late termination of pregnancy” (LTOP) or late-term abortion. The naturally occurring phenomenon of aborting pregnancy is usually called miscarriage. In many countries, abortion is controversial, mainly about morality, women’s physical rights, and infant life rights.

Historical records

In 1550 BC, the oldest known medical book in the world, “THE PAPYRUS EBER”, left the earliest records of abortion in ancient Egypt. For example, Islam believes that the soul enters the body on the 40th day, and Buddhism believes that if the reincarnation of God consciousness is alive, and without the reincarnation of God consciousness, there will be no pregnancy at all. Chinese Confucianism talks more about life issues and less about them. Taoism believes that in this life, widows and poor have no children, because abortion hurts the child to get this retribution. The conclusion of modern science is very clear: human life begins at the time of conception. This is a scientific fact, not philosophy, speculation, opinion, conjecture, or theory. Today, life begins at the time of conception, which is a proven fact. No rationally honest and knowledgeable scientist or doctor can deny this.

Cause / Reason

There are many reasons why women choose to have an abortion. It may be for birth control, or a woman cannot afford to become pregnant because of her physical condition, or because the fetus is diagnosed with deformity or congenital disease, resulting in both parents not wanting to give birth to a defective fetus, etc. There are also examples of wanting to abort pregnancy due to changes in feelings with the fetus’s biological father. According to statistics made by the Alan Guttmacher Institute in the United States in 2000, a total of 1.31 million abortions were performed in the United States in 2000, of which 1% were related to pregnancy due to rape or incest.

Some countries require specific conditions and certificates to legally have an abortion, such as:

  1. Safety of pregnant women: Continued pregnancy endangers the life or health of pregnant women
  2. Fetal life or health: the fetus is physically mutilated or impaired in health, unable to survive, unable to be born, and has a genetic disease
  3. Pregnancy background: Rape or incest
  4. Identity: Pregnant woman, minor or single
  5. Economy: Pregnancy will force or suspend a woman’s work or studies and can’t afford the money and time to raise children
  6. Feelings: Feelings with the fetus’s biological father have changed
  7. Family: Family objection (husband or parent)
  8. Birth Control: Do not want to have children or China’s one-child policy

Remarks:The above conditions may require a police or doctor’s certificate.

Genetic Diseases

Genetic diseases can be detected by prenatal examination, such as ultrasound examination, amniotic fluid test, blood test, etc. Common genetic diseases are Down syndrome, anencephaly, and Zika virus.

The following are abortion reports made from 27 different countries, arranged as follows by the level of reasons:

  • 27.6% – want to delay raising children
  • 21.3% – can’t afford the money to raise children
  • 14.1% – feelings with the fetus’s biological father have changed
  • 12.2% – Pregnant women are too young to abort pregnancy at the will of parents or others
  • 10.8% – Pregnancy will cause a woman’s work or studies to be forcibly suspended
  • 7.9% – Don’t want to get pregnant again
  • 3.3% – the fetus is physically disabled or has health problems
  • 2.8% – Continued pregnancy is detrimental to the health of pregnant women

Feminism

Abortion has always been an important issue in feminism related to women’s reproductive rights and freedoms. There are so-called pro-choice and pro-life debates.

Many feminists claim that whether to continue pregnancy is a woman’s physical right and a basic human right. Whether or not to choose an abortion after pregnancy should also be decided by the woman herself based on physical condition, economic situation, lifestyle, and other factors, after consultation with family and friends, refusing to be intervened by the state to enact laws, and opposing excessive participation by parents or husbands. In addition, those who support the right to choose abortion also point out that a total ban on abortion will only cause more illegal abortions to occur; safe and legal abortion, strengthening sex education, contraception and birth control can effectively reduce the number of abortions.

Carol Gilligan, a controversial feminist psychologist, questioned that starting with the abstract concepts of “choice” and “life” (rights or justice) is an ethics that pulls away from the female experience. In her book “In a Different Voice”, she reported and analysed the interviews of 29 women aged 15-33, of different races and backgrounds twice, hoping to learn how women deal with the moral situation of pregnancy or abortion. Gilligan’s research believes that women define morality as the obligation to realize care and avoid harm, which contrasts strongly with abstract “formal logic”. For Gilligan, women’s hesitation in judging moral issues is not based on a lack of ability to think about abstract rights and justice but is based on an understanding of the complexity of reality.

Gilligan criticized Kohlberg’s Theory of Moral Development and the theory that Justice and rights are considered at the highest stage of moral development. Gilligan noticed that the subjects of Kohlberg’s research were white men and boys. She believed that Kohlberg’s research on moral development excluded women’s experience. In her research on female abortion, she studied women’s consideration and value in moral judgment with care, relationship, and connection.

In a focus group study of Swedish women discussing abortion, some participants believed that the choice of abortion was a woman’s right (Right in a situation of helplessness, Ekstran, Essen & Tyde’n, 2005), perhaps this description just illustrates the contradictory situation of women in the ethical choice of abortion, and helps explain Gilligan’s emphasis on the importance of “care” in thinking about “rights” .

Forms of abortion

The history of abortion is quite long. Many methods of abortion have been circulating since ancient times, including herbal medicine, the use of sharp tools, artificial trauma, and other traditional methods.

Modern medicine uses drugs or surgery to induce abortion. In the first trimester (the first three months of pregnancy), there are two drugs that are as effective as surgery, namely RU486 and prostaglandin. In the second pregnancy (third to sixth months of pregnancy), although the use of drugs can still effectively lead to miscarriage, the risk of sequelae caused using surgery is lower. You can start using compound oral contraceptives and uterine contraceptives immediately after abortion.

After years of development and evolution, the main forms of abortion are: artificial abortion (negative pressure aspiration) and medical abortion.

artificial abortion (negative pressure aspiration)

Most abortions are carried out within the first twelve weeks of pregnancy. The fetus is still very small and can be sucked out with a powerful suction device, which is 25 times more powerful than an ordinary household vacuum cleaner. This method is called suction curettage (vacuum curettage). The power of the suction device tears or twists the fetus’s body, tearing the limbs’ part by part until only the head is left. The head of the fetus is too large to pass through the straw, so the person who has an abortion needs to insert pliers into the uterus, grab the separately floating head, and then crush it until it can pass through the straw, then the head will be removed.

suction curettage (vacuum curettage)

  1. Amniotic membrane
  2. Fetus
  3. Endometrium
  4. Expander
  5. Suction pipe
  6. Connect to the vacuum pump

medical abortion.

In the early stages of pregnancy, the use of drugs to disturb the endocrine system of pregnant women, secrete various hormones that are not suitable for embryo survival, stimulate abnormal reproductive system, change the embryonic development environment, resulting in outflow after the death of the embryo.

There is also a name for anti-early pregnancy drugs called “anti-menstrual anti-pregnancy drugs”. It can also be seen that the developer’s well-intentioned efforts-women with a history of sex may become pregnant if their menstruation does not come for more than a few days. At this time, while it is “not stable”, take medication immediately to urge menstrual cramps, so as to achieve the purpose of terminating pregnancy.

RU-486 administration: There is a 95% success rate in the first 50 days of pregnancy.This method must be under the guidance of a doctor to ensure safety. Do not administer drugs on your own to give birth.

Other methods

saline method

Another method of abortion is Saline method, which is the salt poison method, which is used in the fourth to seventh months of pregnancy and is the most used method in the 1970s.This operation uses a three-and-a-half-inch to four-inch needle inserted from the mother’s abdominal wall into the amniotic sac, extracting 200mm of amniotic fluid, and then replacing it with a strength of concentrated saline. In this procedure, the fetus swallows the salt and “breathes” in the salt. Basically, the skin of the fetus’s whole body is burned by salt and slowly poisoned to death, so the mother begins to give birth and discharges a dead, burned and withered baby. Some babies survived this procedure and were born with serious complications, because in the process, the baby’s tissues and organs were destroyed by bleeding, arteries and veins ruptured and left huge bruises on the body.

Stimulated with prostaglandin method

Stimulated with prostaglandin: prostaglandin contains some hormonal compounds. When injected or used in the uterine muscles, it can damage the blood circulation of the fetus, contract violently, and then be discharged. Because prostaglandins are not directly toxic to unborn fetuses, such abortion methods produce more fetuses born due to failed fetuses than saline methods. The failure of the abortion makes medical workers and other personnel very troublesome, especially the mother: the baby struggles for survival, breathless, and tics everywhere.

hysterectomy method

There is also a method called hysterectomy, which is used during six to eight months of pregnancy. There is only one difference between this method and Caesarean section. The whole operation is to terminate the survival of the baby, not to maintain the survival of the baby. This operation is to cut the stomach, straight into the uterus, remove the baby, do not take care of the baby, let the baby die, or strangle the baby early in the mother’s body (the baby cannot be strangled outside the uterus). Once the baby is outside the womb, it cannot be killed, otherwise the doctor will commit murder.

Menstrual rule surgery

Within six weeks of pregnancy. Use a thin plastic tube to extend into the uterine cavity and use a large syringe of 100 ml to produce a negative pressure to suck out the endometrium. Even if you may be pregnant, you can suck out embryos in the early stages of pregnancy because the intima has been destroyed and you can’t implantation.

Dilation and curettage (D&C)

Dilation and curettage (D&C) is a procedure to remove tissue from inside your uterus. Doctors perform dilation and curettage to diagnose and treat certain uterine conditions:-

  • such as heavy bleeding
  • or to clear the uterine lining after a miscarriage or abortion.

Dilation and Evacuation (D&E)

Dilation and evacuation (D&E) is done in the second 12 weeks (second trimester) of pregnancy. It usually includes a combination of vacuum aspirationdilation and curettage (D&C), and the use of surgical instruments (such as forceps).

Induction: (second trimester)

Labor induction in the second trimester is stimulation of uterine contractions to expel the fetus and placenta using medical agents; misoprostol is most commonly used in the United States. Misoprostol dosing for labor induction varies by trimester.

SAFETY

The health risks of abortion depend on whether the procedure is safe or not. The World Health Organization (WHO) defines unsafe abortion as an abortion procedure performed by “people who are not professionally trained, harmful equipment, and unsanitary facilities”.

In developed countries, legal abortion is one of the safest procedures in medicine. Only 0.7 abortions per 100,000 in the United States lead to the death of the client; its mortality rate is 13 times lower than that of pregnant women giving birth (8.8 deaths per 100,000 births). Between 2000 and 2009, the mortality rate of abortion in the United States was lower than that of plastic surgery in the local area.

The risk of death associated with abortion increases with pregnancy, but it is still lower than childbirth cases with more than 21 weeks of pregnancy. During the 64-70 days of pregnancy, the safety and effectiveness of outpatient abortion are the same as those carried out at 57-63 days. When the pregnancy period is less than 6 weeks, drug-induced abortion is safe and effective. In developed countries, safe and legal abortion has been achieved through medicine for many years. Simple abortion does not cause long-term mental health or physical problems.

The World Health Organization (WHO) advocates that woman all over the world should enjoy the same good safe and legal abortion. Having said that, unsafe abortions still occur worldwide every year, still causing about 47,000 maternal deaths and about 5 million maternal hospitalizations.

info update by world health organIZATION (who) – 25TH SEPTEMBER 2020

  • Between 2015 and 2019, on average, 73.3 million induced (safe and unsafe) abortions occurred worldwide each year.
  • There were 39 induced abortions per 1000 women aged between 15–49 years.
  • 3 out of 10 (29%) of all pregnancies, and 6 out of 10 (61%) of all unintended pregnancies, ended in an induced abortion.
  • Among these, 1 out of 3 were carried out in the least safe or dangerous conditions.
  • Over half of all estimated unsafe abortions globally were in Asia, most of them in south and central Asia.
  • 3 out of 4 abortions that occurred in Africa and Latin America were unsafe.
  • The risk of dying from an unsafe abortion was the highest in Africa.
  • Each year between 4.7% – 13.2% of maternal deaths can be attributed to unsafe abortion .
  • Estimates from 2010 to 2014 showed that around 45% of all abortions were unsafe. Almost all of these unsafe abortions took place in developing countries.
  • Around 7 million women are admitted to hospitals every year in developing countries, as a result of unsafe abortion.
  • The annual cost of treating major complications from unsafe abortion is estimated at USD 553 million.
  • Abortions are safe when they are carried out by a person with the necessary skills, using a WHO recommended method appropriate to the pregnancy duration.
  • Almost every abortion death and disability could be prevented through sexuality education, use of effective contraception, provision of safe, legal induced abortion, and timely care for complications.

Precautions

Before abortion:-

  1. You need to take a shower and change clean underwear the night before the abortion.
  2. Dress as loose as possible, easy to wear and take off (bring your own sanitary napkins or toilet paper).
  3. Sex should be avoided within a week before abortion.
  4. If it is a painless abortion surgery, fasting and water are required for about six hours before surgery.
  5. When the body temperature exceeds 37.5℃, surgery should be carried out another day.
  6. Cooperate closely with the doctor during surgery and don’t be too nervous.
  7. Patients need to take cervical softening drugs as directed by the doctor before surgery.
  8. If the patient encounters the following conditions, he is temporarily not suitable for painless human abortion
    • Suffering from inflammation of sexual reproductive organs (such as vaginitis, urethritis, severe cervical erosion, pelvic inflammation, etc.);
    • Acidosis caused by severe vomiting during pregnancy has not been treated.

Diet

Food suitable for eating: eggs, meat, soy products and other nutritious, easy to digest food.
Foods not suitable for eating: crabs, snails, radishes and other foods that stimulate blood circulation and promote uterine contraction.

Check

Pre-abortion examination After an unexpected pregnancy person goes to the hospital, the doctor first asks him to do a gynaecological examination. For the flow of people, these preoperative examinations are very necessary. Female friends must not try to save money and avoid the examination intentionally. Pre-flow inspection mainly includes the following:

Early Pregnancy Test Strip Test (HCG)

From the 7th day of pregnancy, a specific hormone-human chorionic gonadotropin (HCG) can be measured in the urine of pregnant women. It is usually checked by urine pregnancy tests carried out in hospitals.

B Ultrasound Scan

Check whether you can see the fetal sac and determine the size of the fetal sac.

Vaginal discharge routine

Understand whether there are trichomonas and mold in the vagina, and chlamydia, mycoplasma, and gonococcus should be checked if necessary. If the above microorganisms are present, it is easy to cause upstream infection, affect embryonic development, and induce abortion.

Inflammation Check

See if there is inflammation, and if symptoms of inflammation are found, further examination and treatment are required.

blood test

Check for infectious diseases.

ECG, liver function and other tests

so that special treatment is required during the operation.

Only when all the above examination results come out and the conditions are in line with the surgical conditions can painless human abortion be performed. This is not only the doctor’s responsibility to the patient, but also the patient’s own attitude of loving and cherishing himself.

After Abortion

Sex is prohibited:

Do not have sex within one month after abortion. Some people bleed for a long time after abortion, some people for a short time, and some people sometimes don’t bleed. In either case, it is forbidden to have sex before going through it. Because the cervical mouth is in a relaxed state during abortion, the effect of preventing bacteria from entering the uterine cavity is weakened. During sex, the bacteria hidden in the male foreskin and the bacteria in the female vulva, vagina and cervix can take the opportunity to infect the uterine cavity; at the same time, the blood sinus is open after the exfoliation of the embryonic tissue, which is easy to be infected by bacteria.

Pay attention to rest:

After abortion, you should rest in bed for 2~3 days. You can get out of bed later and gradually increase the activity time. Do not engage in heavy manual labour during the second half of the abortion and avoid contact with cold water. After abortion, the uterus needs about a month to recover.

Keep the vulva clean and hygienic:

The uterine mouth has not been closed after abortion, and the endometrium also has a repair process. During this time, special attention should be paid to keep the vulva clean and hygienic. Do not bathe in the second half of the operation to avoid unclean water entering the vagina, leading to bacterial invasion and infection.

Diet attention, strengthen nutrition:

First, to ensure the supply of high-quality protein, adequate vitamins and inorganic salts, especially should be supplemented with enough iron to prevent the occurrence of anemia. Food selection should not only pay attention to nutrition, but also be easy to digest and absorb. Do not eat or eat less greasy and cold food, should not eat radish, hawthorn, bitter melon, orange and other qi, blood circulation, cold food. Eat more food that is easy to digest in order to speed up the body’s recovery.

Adhere to contraception:

If you do not insist on doing contraception well, you will soon become pregnant again. Some women become pregnant again the month they have an abortion, which has a greater impact on the body. Therefore, reliable contraceptive measures should be selected. Abortion can only be used as a remedial surgery that must be taken as a last resort after the failure of contraception. Abortion should not be used as a measure of contraception and birth control to protect women’s mental and physical health.

Major Hazards

The hazards of abortion are mainly manifested in the following points:

  1. It may lead to menstrual disorders, a small number of patients have irregular menstrual cycles, prolonged menstruation, and more patients have increased menstrual flow after abortion.
  2. It may cause adhesions of the cervix or uterine cavity, which can cause hemorrhage in the uterine cavity.
  3. May cause infection in the uterine cavity.
  4. It may lead to habitual miscarriage in the future, the more the number of abortions, the greater the possibility of miscarriage.
  5. May cause lifelong infertility.
  6. Uterine perforation: the larger the number of weeks of pregnancy, the higher the risk; the more miscarriages, the greater the chance of perforation. Other uterus such as abnormal uterine position, shape or previous surgery (such as caesarean section or fibroid resection)have a greater chance of perforation.
  7. Cervical or endometrial morosity: If the doctor’s technique is too rude during an artificial abortion, it is likely to cause injury and inflammation of the cervix or endometrium, which may result in postoperative cervical or endometrial mucus, and can cause menstrual abnormalities, such as no menstruation or too little menstruation. In severe cases, infertility will occur in the future
  8. Cervical injury: In the process of human flow, if you are not careful, the expansion of the cervix mouth is too fast, which may cause damage to the cervix, and cause later pregnancies to be more prone to miscarriage, especially women who are pregnant for the first time or have not yet given birth are more prone to miscarriage.
  9. Incomplete abortion: If the operation is incomplete, a small amount of fetal tissue remains in the uterus, which may affect the contraction of the uterus and cause continuous bleeding or sticky, infection and other conditions. It is best to do another surgery carefully to remove the remaining tissue. The position or shape of the uterus is not normal, and it is generally more likely to cause postpartum syndrome.
  10. Bacterial infection: If the disinfection of the instrument is not complete, or the surgeon himself does not pay attention to the sterile process, it may cause infection in the uterus, and even continue to infect the fallopian tubes and pelvic cavity. In severe cases, it will cause the consequences of easy ectopic pregnancy or infertility in the future.

Psychological Effects

Abortion can cause people to feel guilty, suicidal impulses, retreat, regret and remorse, loss of self-confidence, lower self-esteem, hostile anger, despair and helplessness, hatred of people related to abortion, end the relationship with their partners, loss of libido, inability to forgive themselves, and cause nightmares and other psychological disorders.

Social concepts and legal regulations

Abortion is a controversial behaviour in most countries around the world (especially Western countries). Opinions on both positive and negative aspects are very hotly debated, mainly on moral ethics, religion, women’s physical health and reproductive rights.

On the moral side, opponents believe that the life of the fetus belongs to the fetus, so others cannot arbitrarily deprive the fetus of its right to survive; on the religious side, the traditional teachings of the Abrahamic religion, dominated by Christianity, Islam and Judaism, believe that life is given by God, so only God has the right to retrieve life, not human beings. This idea is particularly strong in countries where most Catholics are majority (Catholic doctrine strongly opposes abortion). In Ireland, in addition to abortion, contraception was also illegal in the past. As for the reproductive rights of the female body, it is believed that the fetus is the continuation of the female body, and when the existence of the fetus affects the mother’s physical health, the mother has the right to abort the growth of the fetus. There is also controversy over whether the fetus is defined as human and enjoys the rights as a human being. Some supporters believe that if the fetus has not yet been born or formed into a human body, it is part of the female body and cannot be defined as human, while opponents believe that the fetus is already human at the time of its formation, and the fetus is life, so they oppose abortion.

In countries around the world, abortion by illegal means is illegal, it is usually banned or restricted, but in some countries, legal abortion also exists. Now about two-thirds of women in the world can legally have an abortion (within the number of weeks of fetuses limited in this country). Abortion laws vary greatly from country to country. Some countries can do so under any circumstances if there is demand and the consent of a doctor, while many countries in the world are not allowed to have an abortion anyway. Abortion laws are still changing frequently and will continue to become a social controversy.

Ancient Law

There is no clear provision for abortion in the ancient code. The Hammurabi Code of the Kingdom of Babylon stipulates that “whoever beats a woman so that she loses the fetus will be fined according to her status”, and the Manu Code of India has “whoever kills the fetus by striking a man with a sword……”, all belong to the type of injury crime.

Religion

  • In the resolution of the Conference of Constantinople in 629 AD, abortion was equivalent to murder. And until now, the Catholic Church has not only firmly opposed any abortion, but it also even expelled women who had abortions in the past. In many countries where Catholicism is the main religion, such as the Republic of Ireland, any abortion (unless the fetus poses a threat to the life of a woman) has been a criminal offence. Both the person requesting the abortion and the doctor performing the operation may be sentenced to prison, and later passed a referendum on May 25, 2018 to amend the constitution to allow abortion. As for other Christian denominations, most of them quote the contents and doctrines of the “Bible” and oppose abortion.
  • Judaism according to their “Jewish Holy Law” scripture mentions that the fetus is regarded as a part of life, not an independent individual, before most of the head or body leaves the mother. It was mentioned in a statement announcing abortion-related issues at the 1975 Biannual meeting of Jews.”……The well-being of the mother is our first consideration.”
  • Islam advocates that abortion can be performed in order to realize the interests of oneself, family and society without violating the creation of Allah.Various jurists in Islam believe to varying degrees that abortion before four months is possible.

Relevant regulations in Asia

There are 48 countries in Asia today, according to the United Nations.

China

The 1998 legislation stipulates that most couples are only allowed to have one child, except for rural areas or ethnic minorities. In 2013, the “single second child” policy was implemented. One of the couples who is an only child can legally give birth to two children, but if you want to have a second child, you must still apply for a birth certificate issued by the government. In 2015, the Fifth Plenum of the Central Committee adopted the comprehensive implementation of the two-child policy, allowing each couple to have two children. National laws do not provide for this, but a few local government regulations have relevant provisions, mainly in order to avoid gender discrimination and rationalize the demographic structure. The Harbin Municipal government stipulates that administrative approval is required for artificial abortion after more than 14 weeks of pregnancy. The Regulations on the Prohibition of Selective Termination of Pregnancy in Guiyang City stipulate that abortion for women who are more than 14 weeks pregnant is prohibited, except for some special circumstances. Otherwise, the maximum penalty for illegal income is not more than 6 times, or a fine of not more than 30,000 yuan. If you become pregnant outside the plan, a fine will be imposed according to the parents ‘ income. Under the one-child policy of family planning, abortion is a common practice of forcibly terminating pregnancy. Moreover, although abortion is legal in the People’s Republic of China, forced abortion manipulated by the Family Planning Office is still nominally illegal.

Singapore


The Abortion Act to reform and liberalise the law concerning the practice of abortion in Singapore was passed by Parliament on 29 December 1969 and came into effect on 20 March 1970. The 1969 Abortion Act was reviewed in 1974 and further liberalised. The repealed Act made abortion available to any woman who wanted one and she would no longer require the approval of the Termination of Pregnancy Authorisation Board, which was scrapped under the new bill.

Countries and Regions with Conditional Restrictions on Abortion in Asia

Japan

The Eugenics Protection Act promulgated in 1948 made Japan the fastest legal abortion country in Asia. The law was renamed the “Maternal Protection Law” in 1997.

The Maternal Protection Law defines abortion as “artificially discharging the fetus and its appendages from the maternal body during the period when the fetus cannot maintain its life outside the maternal body” and defines the following two as legitimate reasons for abortion. Violators will be prosecuted for abortion. At present “the period when the fetus cannot sustain life outside the mother” is defined as 22 weeks of pregnancy. Doctors designated by the Medical Association of a society established in the prefectural area of Dudao Prefecture may perform abortion after obtaining the consent of themselves and their spouses for persons who meet any of the following reasons:

  • Continued pregnancy or childbirth may seriously damage the health of the mother for physical or economic reasons
  • Pregnant by adultery because of an atrocity or threat and unable to resist or refuse

Hong Kong

According to section 47A of the Crimes against the Person Ordinance

Legal termination of pregnancy surgery must be carried out within the first 24 weeks of pregnancy (if continuing pregnancy poses a life threat to the pregnant woman, it is not subject to the pregnancy period limit), and must be confirmed by 2 registered doctors:

  • Continuing pregnancy will pose a greater threat to the life of the pregnant woman or the physical or mental health of the pregnant woman than terminating the pregnancy, or
  • The fetus is most likely to have physical and mental imperfections after birth that are enough to cause serious disability; or
  • the pregnant woman is under the age of 16; or
  • Pregnant women reported to the police within the previous 3 months, claiming to be the victim of incest, rape, forced rape, seduction or rape.

Taiwan

Since the Criminal Law of the Republic of China was promulgated and promulgated in 1934 and came into force on July 1, 1935, Chapter 24 of Part 2 of the previous versions has provided for the “crime of abortion”, but Article 288, Item 3, clearly stipulates that pregnant woman who have abortions due to illness or other reasons necessary to prevent danger to their lives are exempted from their punishment. The Eugenics Health Care Law was enacted and promulgated in Taiwan in 1984. Since its implementation on January 1, 1985, the scope of abortion has been clearly defined in Article 9 of Chapter 3 abortion and Ligation Surgery. However, at the same time, when there is still a dispute between the two laws, according to Article 16 of the Central Regulatory Standards Law, “if the regulations are special provisions on the same matter specified in other regulations, they should be applied first”, that is, the special law is superior to the common law.

A pregnant woman may perform abortion voluntarily if she is diagnosed or certified to have one of the following:

  • I or my spouse suffer from hereditary, infectious diseases or mental diseases that hinder eugenics.
  • Blood relatives within myself or the four relatives of his or her spouse suffer from genetic diseases that hinder eugenics.
  • Those who have medical reasons enough to determine that pregnancy or childbirth is dangerous to their lives or endangers their physical or mental health.
  • There are medical reasons, enough to determine that the fetus is at risk of abnormal development.
  • A person who is conceived because of forced sexual intercourse, seduction or rape with a person who is not allowed to marry according to law.
  • Those who will affect their mental health or family life due to pregnancy or childbirth.

An unmarried minor or a person subject to guardianship or assisted proclamation shall perform abortion in accordance with the provisions of the preceding paragraph and shall receive the consent of a legal representative or auxiliary person. If there is a spouse, abortion shall be performed in accordance with the provisions of paragraph 6 of the preceding paragraph, and the consent of the spouse shall be due. But this is not limited to those whose spouse’s life and death are unknown or unconscious or insanity. For the determination of the abortion situation specified in item 1, the central competent authority may, when necessary, formulate a standard announcement after being formulated by the Eugenics Health Care Advisory Committee.

Korea

The Abortion Law was promulgated in 1953. Only when the health of pregnant women is seriously threatened, pregnant due to rape, incest, or the fetus suffers from serious genetic diseases, pregnant women can undergo abortion surgery. After 24 weeks of pregnancy, all abortion operations are illegal. Women who have illegal abortions are sentenced to fixed-term imprisonment of not more than 1 year and a fine of not more than 2 million Korean won. Doctors and others who perform abortion operations will also be sentenced to fixed-term imprisonment of not more than 2 years.

According to Article 14 of the “Mother and Child Health Care Law”, the reasons why artificial abortion can be performed under certain conditions are:

  • When I or my spouse suffer from genetic mental disorders or physical diseases prescribed by the Presidential Decree.
  • When I or my spouse suffer from infectious diseases prescribed by the Presidential Decree.
  • When pregnancy is caused by rape or quasi-rape.
  • Pregnancy between kindred or in-laws that are legally unable to marry.
  • When maternal health is seriously damaged in health care medicine due to continuous pregnancy.

If a woman applies for an abortion under the above exceptions, the operation must be completed within 24 hours after the application, and the woman undergoing the operation also needs to obtain the consent of her partner.

In 2019, the Constitutional Court of South Korea ruled that the current abortion ban and the provisions punishing doctors who perform abortion operations infringe on women’s right to free choice and are unconstitutional. It is expected that the abortion law will be amended by the end of 2020

India

Before 20 weeks of pregnancy. Does pregnancy pose a huge risk to the physical and mental health of pregnant women or does the fetus have abnormalities? For pregnant women who are 12 weeks to 20 weeks pregnant to have an abortion, they need to be approved by two qualified doctors at the same time.

Many countries allow women to have abortions in situations where the life of the mother is threatened, including Afghanistan, Bangladesh, Guatemala, Iraq, Ivory Coast, Lebanon, Myanmar, the Kingdom of Oman, Paraguay, Somalia, South Sudan, Syria, Uganda, Venezuela, West Bank / Gaza and Yemen.

Thailand

On January 26th, 2021, the Thai Parliament passed a law amending abortion as a crime by 166 votes to 7 votes, allowing women who are less than 12 weeks pregnant to have an abortion, but those who are more than 12 weeks pregnant will still be punished, with the aim of solving the problem of women seeking illegal abortions by non-professionals.

According to this amendment, those who are more than 12 weeks pregnant are only allowed to have an abortion under certain conditions, otherwise they will be sentenced to up to 6 months in prison or a fine of 10,000 baht, or a combination of both.

“This means that abortion has its conditions and can only be performed by a physician according to law.”

According to the new regulations, if the doctor determines that the risk of fetal deformity is high, the pregnancy poses a life threat to the mother, and the pregnancy is caused by sexual assault, deception, or coercion, under these conditions, women who are more than 12 weeks pregnant can legally terminate the pregnancy.

Retaining penalties will still make abortion labelled. They advocate that abortion is an individual right and believe that punishment will hinder women from seeking safe abortion channels, and harm women’s dignity.

Indonesia

Indonesia law allows abortion in medical emergencies, as well as in cases of severe fetal anomaly. In the latter situation, if the woman is married, both she and her husband must consent. The law was expanded in 2009 to legalize abortion in cases of rape, but only up to six weeks’ gestation.

It is commonly accepted that the vast majority of abortions occur outside these legal parameters and that many occur under unsafe conditions.

The provision of postabortion care is legal and offered in many hospitals. Postabortion care includes services for treating miscarriages, as well as complications of unsafe abortion.

Countries that completely prohibit abortion in Asia

Malaysia

Article 312 of the Criminal Code

Article 312 of the Criminal Code states that any person who voluntarily causes a (pregnant) female to miscarry may be sentenced to imprisonment for up to 3 years, or a fine, or both. If the embryo has been formed, the person may be sentenced to 7 years’ imprisonment or a fine

“If a woman causes her own abortion, she can also be charged under this provision. Therefore, under this provision, outsiders who help pregnant women miscarry, or pregnant women themselves cause their own miscarriage, can be charged.”

Under this law, if a pregnant woman consults a qualified medical staff, the medical staff has good intentions, or with professional medical knowledge, and believes that continuing to conceive will lead to a threat to the life of the pregnant woman, including physical and mental conditions, then abortion surgery is legal.

Even if the child’s condition in the mother is not good, such as pregnant women suffering from the Zika virus, resulting in the child suffering from microcephaly, abortion is still not allowed under this law.

As for pregnant women who are not pregnant voluntarily, such as rape, which leads to pregnancy, at present, China’s law remains silent on this topic.“Under section 312, it is not specified that pregnant women can have an abortion as a result.But as far as I know, there are shelters in Malaysia to adopt these children.”

“If a pregnant woman falls into a coma and cannot express her will but continuing to conceive can endanger the life of the mother, then the family can make a decision on behalf of the pregnant woman.”

Article 313 of the Criminal Code

In addition, article 313 of the Criminal Code states that any person who causes a woman to miscarry without the consent of the woman may be sentenced to up to 20 years ‘ imprisonment and a fine if convicted.

Article 309A of the Criminal Code

In addition, according to Article 309A of the Criminal Code, any woman who causes the death of a newborn with malice or negligence may be sentenced to imprisonment for up to 20 years and a fine if convicted.

Regardless of whether the woman’s body and mind are disturbed after giving birth, it can only be used as a reason for intercession in the end, and it does not mean that she can get rid of the crime.

Philippines , Palau

The Catholic Church also opposes abortion and contraception, because God does not allow murder (contraception is also murder). Even an embryo in the womb is considered a life. Since it is a human being, there are human rights, and others are not eligible to deprive him of the right to be born, so women in the Philippines & Palau cannot have an abortion.

Relevant regulations in Europe

There are 44 countries in Europe today, according to the United Nations.

Ireland

The Constitution once prohibited women from having abortions, and after a referendum in November 1992, women were allowed to have abortions in countries other than Ireland. In 2014, pregnant women were allowed to have abortions legally if their health was seriously threatened. In 2018, the amendment to the Constitution prohibiting abortion was deleted in accordance with the “Article 36 Constitutional Amendment”.

Abortion is allowed for women within 12 weeks of pregnancy, or under conditions such as endangering the life of the pregnant woman and causing serious harm to the health of the pregnant woman.The new law also allows abortion of abnormal fetuses that may lead to death before childbirth or death within 28 days of birth.

France

Legislation in the 1970s allowed women to choose abortion unconditionally within the first 12 weeks of pregnancy.

Sweden

Since 1970, women within 18 weeks of pregnancy can choose to have an abortion in a hospital without holding any reasons,which is the most lenient country for abortion.

Switzerland

Using the abortion law enacted in 1937 for a long time,those who perform abortions will be sentenced to five years in prison and a fine. Until 2001, the Swiss parliament passed allowing pregnant women to choose to have an abortion within the first twelve weeks of pregnancy.In the following year’s referendum, 72% of voters voted in favor of the reform proposal to decriminalize abortion.

Romania

Legislation passed the abortion law in 1989, before that illegal abortion in the country caused the death of half a million women.

Italy

Women can choose abortion unconditionally within 90 days of pregnancy.

United Kingdom

In the era of the United Kingdom of Great Britain and Ireland, in 1803, the world’s first anti—abortion bill, the Lord Ellenborough Act, was passed, which regarded abortion as an illegal act with a maximum penalty of death. The Personal Injury Act of 1861 reduced the maximum sentence to life imprisonment, which was later inherited by the United Kingdom and Ireland. In 1929, the Baby Protection Act was passed, which regarded abortion as equivalent to infanticide, and prohibited the end of the life of any possible living fetus. In 1967, an abortion law was enacted to protect women’s right to choose an abortion and allow conditional abortion within 28 weeks of pregnancy. In 1990, the provisions on abortion in the Human Fertilization and Embryo Law were amended and relaxed.

Abortion can be legally performed within 24 weeks of pregnancy. The approval or signature of two doctors is required (only one doctor is required in case of emergency), the pregnancy does not exceed 24 weeks, and the following may be the reasons for abortion:

  • Saving the life of the pregnant woman
  • Protecting the physical or mental health of the pregnant woman,
  • Signs of abnormal development of the fetus, social or economic reasons, etc.
  • If the life of a pregnant woman is seriously threatened by continuing her pregnancy or the fetus is at risk of obvious abnormal development, abortion is still allowed regardless of how long she is pregnant.

Spain

Abortion for babies less than 14 weeks old was legalized in 2010. If the pregnant woman has health risks and fetal deformities, the abortion will be legalized in 2010. If the pregnant woman has health risks and fetal deformities.

Abortion is also legal when the number of weeks of pregnancy is less than 22 weeks.

Countries with Conditional Restrictions on Abortion in Europe

Poland

Women are allowed to have abortions only if rape or incest leads to pregnancy, a serious threat to the life of a pregnant woman, and a serious deformity of the fetus.[56]In 2020, the Polish Constitutional Court ruled that further restrictions on abortion and prohibitions on abortion with fetal deformities were equivalent to a total ban on abortion.

Cyprus

Abortion can only be performed because of rape or serious threat to the health of the mother.

Portugal

Abortion is illegal. Abortion can only be performed within 12 weeks of pregnancy due to rape, embryo deformity or maternal health threat

Countries that completely prohibit abortion in europe

Malta, which is mainly Catholic, is the only EU country that completely prohibits abortion, and if it violates the law, it will be sentenced to 18 months to 3 years in prison. European countries that are not part of the European Union, such as Andorra, the Vatican and San Marino, also prohibit abortion.

Relevant regulations in North America

There are 23 countries in North America today, according to the United Nations.

United States

Before the 1940s, Connecticut was the first U.S. state to pass an abortion law; in the 1960s, a woman was pregnant due to taking a certain drug to cause deformity of the newborn, and suffering from German measles during pregnancy, resulting in severe disability of the newborn. After the incident, states began to relax the laws on abortion; on January 22, 1973, the U.S. Supreme Court, in Roe v. Wade, recognized that women’s right to abortion is protected by the constitutional right to privacy, and surgery can be legally performed in the first stage of pregnancy (within three months). The ruling is still controversial in American society. There are still anti-abortion organizations calling for the ruling to be overturned, while major political parties, including the Democratic Party, advocate respecting and upholding the Supreme Court’s decision. Some states in the United States have also proposed a heartbeat bill to restrict abortion (heartbeat bill).

  • South Dakota Governor Mike Lowndes signed a bill banning abortion in the state on March 6, 2006, with the aim of taking the case to the Federal Supreme Court through litigation so that the conservative-leaning Supreme Court at the time could overturn the decision in Roe v. Wade, but the state bill was annulled by a voter referendum in the November 2006 election.
  • If the fetal heartbeat is detected after 6 weeks of pregnancy in Iowa, abortion cannot be performed.
  • Abortion is illegal in Mississippi for those who are more than 15 weeks pregnant, except for the serious deformity of the child or the danger of the mother.
  • Iowa’s abortion restriction bill, the Heartbeat bill, stipulates that abortion is illegal once the fetal heartbeat is detected,and the fetus will have a heartbeat about six weeks into pregnancy.
  • Alabama passed a bill on May 15, 2019, requiring women not to have an abortion from the beginning of pregnancy, even if they are pregnant due to rape or incest.Abortion is only possible when a pregnant woman’s life is threatened due to pregnancy.

Canada

All stages of pregnancy are legal.

Relevant regulations in South America

Mexico

On April 24, 2007, a bill passed in Parliament pointed out that pregnant women can voluntarily decide whether to terminate their pregnancy when they are less than 12 weeks pregnant.If pregnancy poses a threat to the life of the pregnant woman, the pregnancy after rape of the woman, fetal deformity, and unauthorized artificial insemination, etc., the pregnant woman may perform an abortion before 20 weeks of pregnancy.

Cuba, Guyana and Uruguay

Countries that allow free abortion

Countries with Conditional Restrictions on Abortion in South America

Chile

In September 2017, the strict abortion ban that had been in place for decades was terminated, and then-President Michelle Bachelet signed the abortion decriminalization Bill.

The fetus is harmful to the mother, the fetus is determined not to survive, and the mother is pregnant because of rape.

Brazil

Articles 124-127 of the Criminal Code indicate that abortion will not be sentenced if pregnant due to sexual assault and there is no other way to save the life of the mother.

Guatemala, Venezuela, Paraguay, Ecuador

Allow women to have an abortion in cases where the life of the mother is threatened.

Argentina, Cuba, Ecuador, Mexico and Panama

Pregnancy due to rape can be a reason for legal abortion.

Countries that completely prohibit abortion in south america

Dominica, El Salvador, Haiti, Honduras, Nicaragua, Suriname

Relevant regulations in Africa

There are 54 countries in Africa today, according to the United Nations.

Mozambique

Women can have an abortion within 12 weeks of pregnancy;if it is due to rape or the health of pregnant women and other factors, they can have an abortion within 16 weeks of pregnancy.

Countries with Conditional Restrictions on Abortion in africa

South Sudan, Uganda, Somalia, Côte d’ivoire

Women are allowed to have abortions in cases where the life of the mother is threatened.

Countries that completely prohibit abortion in africa

Republic of the Congo, Democratic Republic of the Congo, Egypt, Gabon, Guinea-Bissau, Madagascar, Mauritania, Senegal

Relevant regulations in the Middle East

There are 18 countries in Middle East today, according to the United Nations.

Countries with Conditional Restrictions on Abortion in middle east

Israel

The Israeli Criminal Code of 1977 designated a special committee to decide on matters related to the termination of pregnancy. This committee consists of three members,at least one of whom must be a woman:an expert in obstetrics and gynecology, or an expert in related medical subjects (which can be obstetrics and gynecology, internal medicine,psychiatry, etc.), or a social worker.

Afghanistan, Jordan, Yemen, Syria, Iraq, Lebanon, Oman

Women are allowed to have abortions in cases where the life of the mother is threatened.

Expert View

Speaking of the issue of abortion for middle school students and college students, Wei Aimin, a representative of the Beijing People’s Congress and a lawyer at Beijing Contemporary Law Firm, believes that this is a social issue that must be paid attention to. He has done research on this phenomenon. He said it is worrisome that these middle school students are afraid of being discovered by parents, teachers, and other acquaintances. They are not well-off and often can’t afford to go to large hospitals. Instead, they choose some for-profit hospitals in the society to perform artificial abortions. Some still go to small rural clinics without qualifications, which are prone to danger. Some students even buy their own abortion pills to have an abortion on their own. Many unscrupulous hospitals in the society exaggerate the so-called “painless abortion” and “harmless abortion” to solicit business, while there are few public service advertisements that really teach students to properly protect their bodies.

Suggestions

Schools set up sex education classes to popularize common sense

“These pregnant children are children worthy of adults to care and love. When they encounter difficulties, parents, society, and the government should lend a helping hand to care for them and take care of them, help them solve their difficulties, and help them learn how to deal with them in the future.”

Wei Aimin said that he hoped to use the Beijing Morning Post to send a few words to parents, society, and the government:

  1. when parents encounter children making mistakes, they should talk to them more, rather than blindly complaining and criticizing.
  2. society should give children more tolerance; and the government needs to come up with more ways and policies to guide and help children.

Wei Aimin suggested that before the winter and summer holidays each year, all kinds of schools focus on opening one-time education courses. Teaching materials can be compiled first by districts and counties, and based on gaining experience, the city will carry out unified compilation. One of the more critical issues is to popularize basic common sense of contraception and protect children’s physical health. At the same time, the school installs and sells condom boxes, and it is recommended that the condom boxes be placed in places without probes to facilitate students to buy them.

Public hospitals waive fees for students

Wei Aimin suggested that the implementation of a free system of student abortions in public hospitals throughout the city, or only charging treatment fees of not more than 100 yuan, would play a certain economic inhibitory role, to avoid pregnant students choosing to visit private hospitals with relatively cheap fees because they do not have enough abortion costs to suffer secondary injuries. He also suggested that:

  1. A conversation system should be implemented for abortion girls, and medical personnel should talk to abortion girls for not less than a certain period.
  2. The contents of the conversation are specific and clear, including postoperative care, psychological grooming, contraceptive knowledge, and mental health knowledge during development.
  3. The personal privacy of abortion students must be fully protected and must not be disclosed to others.
  4. For the guardian’s confidentiality problem, it is recommended to solve it through legislation.

In addition, Wei Aimin suggested that various media outlets should be firmly prohibited from publishing abortion advertisements. On the contrary, public hospitals take appropriate measures to publish public welfare appeals in the mass media, and must not do misleading advertisements like painless flow, which do not affect learning, work, etc.

Social Views

Terminate the life of the fetus after pregnancy and before birth. This matter may be man-made or natural, although man-made abortion is a matter of moral philosophy discussion. Conservatives or “pro-life” believe that intentional abortion is not allowed; liberals or “pro-choice” see such behaviour on various occasions as permissible. The liberal attitude can even be extended to every situation where the mother wants an abortion, and they also make a lot of restrictions on abortion, such as the age of the fetus. The neutral side has made restrictions on the circumstances in which abortion is allowed, but the result of the debate is not biased towards neutrality. Abortion also involves issues of human nature, as well as the beginning of life; the right to life, the fragile concept of “holiness of life”, the way to deal with conflicting rights, and political and social issues that may propose moral and legal policies and implement them. Abortion has been a controversial social phenomenon since ancient times, and as an objective fact, it has always existed in people’s lives.

Religious Views

In some countries, it is believed that the human “soul” enters the embryo 14 days after the egg is fertilized. Currently, the embryo is “human”, and killing the embryo thereafter is equivalent to murder. Some European countries prohibit abortion on this basis. But there are many religions in the world that have different interpretations of this process.

In general, the Christian tradition emphasizes respect for all human lives, and intentional or direct killing is prohibited for the lives of innocent people (including fetuses). Abortion has never been seen as a kind of good, nor as a morally neutral behavior. The godfathers of the ancient Church attacked abortion; Clement of Alexandria (circa 140-217) regarded abortion as sexual immorality. Dale Duriang (Q.S.F. Tertullian, about 160-230) rebuked the practice of using abortion to hide the fact of pregnancy. Although Augustine (354-430) advocated delayed ensoulment, he believed that all abortions (including unborn fetuses) were serious crimes. Thomas Aquinas (circa 1225-1274) also accepted the argument of delaying the teaching of the spirit,but argued that when the fetus after the teaching of the spirit fell, he committed homicide. Reformers such as Martin Luther (1483-1546) also mentioned that the fetus has a soul; Calvin (J. Calvin, 1509-1564) more directly rebuked abortion as an irrepressible crime. The Anglicans and Puritans of the seventeenth century also regarded abortion as sexual immorality. After the 18th century, the Church’s position changed, arguing that the embryo has human life from the time of conception, and therefore must be respected. This position has always been the official position of the Catholic Church today.

Reference : “Catholic Catechism (1996)”, “Catholic Catechism (1992)” No. 2270-2275, No. 2322; Pope John Paul II, Encyclical “The Gospel of Life (1996)”.

Biological Views

Many people mistakenly think that abortion is a “religious” issue, but it is not. It is a scientific issue, especially a biological issue. To ask when life begins, biologists are the scientific authority, but when we are seeking an answer to this question, we often end up asking these people.

Biologically speaking, when pregnant, there are two different bodies coexisting, which is a scientific fact. One is the woman’s own body, in addition, there is a body that is child’s. Many pregnant women and fetuses have different blood types, which shows that they are two different bodies. If a person has two different blood types, this is medically impossible.

Legal Views

In Western countries, abortion is a big thing. Before the mid-19th century, although abortion was considered inappropriate, most states in the United States allowed abortion before fetal movement. After the mid-19th century, a group of professional surgeons began to push for restrictive abortion legislation. In 1845, Massachusetts was the first state to criminalize abortion. By 1910, except for Kentucky, abortion was criminalized in all states. Most states stipulate that abortion is allowed only if it is to save the life of a pregnant woman. Those who introduce abortion, provide abortion, or perform abortion for others without a surgeon’s license are in violation of the criminal law. However, women who have abortions are not punished.

Human Nature Views

The state also has some restrictions on abortion. Mainly to limit the time of abortion, restrict or prohibit late-term abortion. These restrictions not only consider the interests of pregnant women, but more importantly consider the right to life of the fetus. On the other hand, there are also many unmarried pregnant women in Western countries who are happy to give birth to their children. There is no family planning problem there, birth registration is not difficult, and people do not regard unmarried pregnancy and childbirth as a rebellious thing. You don’t have to get married to have children, and you don’t have to have children to get married, so there are many unmarried mothers and unmarried fathers. And in China, having a child brought about by an out-of-wedlock sexual relationship can be a lot of trouble.

There is a favorite deep in the heart

“It’s painful, loving someone from afar.

Watching them – from the outside.

The once familiar elements of their life reduced to nothing more than occasional mentions in conversations and faces changing in photographs…..

They exist to you now as nothing more than living proof that something can still hurt you … with no contact at all.”

By Ranata Suzuki

When I first arrived in the United States, I was a guest at a classmate’s house. He is a handsome and talented man, but he married a woman whose talent and appearance are far from matching. What is especially puzzling is that he abandoned his girlfriend who has been dating in China for many years and has long talked about marriage.

“My parents and brothers don’t forgive me!” He pointed around, “But look, I have a house, furniture, deposits, and a green card. Who gave it?” He sighed, “People After 35 years of age, many things are clear. I have worked hard all my life and hope to have a good life for a few days.”

It’s just that I think, who does he really love in his heart?

Zhang DaqianWade-Giles romanization Chang Ta-ch’ien, (born May 10, 1899, NeijiangSichuan province, China—died April 2, 1983, Taipei, Taiwan), painter and collector who was one of the most internationally renowned Chinese artists of the 20th century.

After reading “The Biography of Zhang Daqian” written by Mr. Xie Jiaxiao, after reading more than 500 pages, when I came to the “postscript”, I found an important passage, to the effect that Zhang Daqian’s wife Xu Wenbo was by his side in the second half of his life. But in the prime of life, Yang Wanjun is the one who accompanies him to share the joys and sorrows, and love and know each other the most. It was Yang Wanjun who helped Zhang Daqian escape the clutches of the Japanese, and it was also Yang Wanjun who accompany him to face the walls of Dunhuang and suffered from the wind and frost. But when Mr. Daqian was interviewed by Xie Jiaxiao, he rarely mentioned the most important woman in his life.  

Mr. Xie Jiaxiao said: “Is he taking care of Xu Wenbo who is by his side, and avoiding praise Yang Wanjun?”

“He (Zhang Daqian) set aside his will at the age of 80, especially in the bequest part, stating that he wanted to give it to his lover Yang Wanjun. It shows that in Mr. Daqian’s heart, he never forgot a period of affectionate years with Yang Wanjun.”

Closing the book, I must admire Mr. Xie Jiaxiao’s attitude as a journalist, seeking truth from facts.13 years after the completion of “The Biography of Zhang Daqian”, and 10 years after the death of the old man, he finally said what he didn’t say.

Isn’t it something that Mr. Daqian didn’t say anything, but buried his heart for more than 30 years?

Lin Huiyin (Chinese: 林徽因, born 林徽音; pinyinLín Huīyīn; known as Phyllis Lin or Lin Whei-yin when in the United States; 10 June 1904 – 1 April 1955) was a Chinese architect and writer. She is known to be the first female architect in modern China and her husband the famed “Father of Modern Chinese Architecture” Liang Sicheng, both of whom worked as founders and faculty in the newly formed Architecture Department of Northeastern University in 1928 and, after 1949, as professors in Tsinghua University in Beijing. Liang and Lin began restoration work on cultural heritage sites of China in the post-imperial Republican Era of China; a passion which she would pursue to the end of her life. The American artist Maya Lin is her niece.

Liang Sicheng (Chinese: 梁思成; 20 April 1901 – 9 January 1972) was a Chinese architect and architectural historian, known as the father of modern Chinese architecture. His father, Liang Qichao, was one of the most prominent Chinese scholars of the early 20th century. His wife was the architect and poet Lin Huiyin.

Xu Zhimo (徐志摩, Wu Chinese[ʑi tsɿ mu], Mandarin: [ɕǔ ʈʂî mwǒ], January 15, 1897 – November 19, 1931), was an early 20th-century romantic Chinese poet who strove to loosen Chinese poetry from its traditional forms and to reshape it under the influences of Western poetry and the vernacular Chinese language. He is considered one of the most important figures of modern Chinese poetry.

I still remember that Lin Huiyin, known as the First generation talented woman in china, fell in love with Xu Zhimo at first sight. Due to the pressure of the secular and family, the two were eventually separated, and finally married Liang Qichao’s son Liang Sicheng.

Liang Sicheng’s talent is not under Xu Zhimo. He is a pioneer in the study of ancient Chinese architecture. To this day, his works 40 years ago are still considered classics by the world architecture community.

Liang Sicheng, who has travelled all over China and studied in the West, has a different mindset after all. After Xu Zhimo’s plane crashed, Liang Sicheng rushed to the scene specially, picked up a fragment of the plane and gave it to his wife. It is said that Lin Huiyin hung it on the wall of the bedroom for the rest of his life.

Everyone has his own spiritual world, and in the depths of that soul, he may not necessarily be the other half of the marriage.  

“I feel the greatest destroyer of peace today is ‘Abortion’, because it is a war against the child… A direct killing of the innocent child, ‘Murder’ by the mother herself… And if we can accept that a mother can kill even her own child, how can we tell other people not to kill one another? How do we persuade a woman not to have an abortion? As always, we must persuade her with love… And we remind ourselves that love means to be willing to give until it hurts…”

By Mother Teresa

A friend who success in career said to me: “I do things all my life and I don’t owe anyone. To my parents, I am filial; to my friends, I am righteous; to my wife, I enjoy it. If there is any debt, I only owe one person-my girlfriend in high school. She was pregnant with my child, and I asked her to have an abortion, and she had to pay for it herself. I was so poor at that time that I couldn’t pay. The problem is that I am not only poor, but also seedless, and I dare not accompany her to the hospital.”

He sighed for a long time: “To this day, I remember her pale face after the abortion, she never complained about me, but I complained about myself as I got older…”

He looked for her for many years, used many contacts, methods, and even borrowed the name of a friend to post in the newspaper many times to find someone, but still no good news.

No wonder there is an emerging industry in Japan, looking for a first love lover for customers. It is said that many lovers, after 60 or 70 years, hugged and wept when they met, and found that the other party was still their favourite.

One day, he received a phone call from an elder, whose voice was distant and fragile, and it was an old friend whose mother had not seen her for more than ten years.

The mother was startled, got up from the bed in a hurry, and forgot to wear a hearing aid, babbling sentence by sentence.

He grabbed the phone and said: “Tell me something, and I will convey it again.“

The old man on the other end of the phone had a very calm tone: “Just tell her, I miss her very much!”

After a while, he received a letter from South America. The old man’s child said that his mother died soon after putting down the phone———–brain cancer!

He trembled to tell the old mother the news. The old mother, who was in her 80s, was not immediately moved, just sighed and said: “She hasn’t called for so many years, and when she received it, she knew something no good. She is really an old sister. We know each other since she was a child. She has not seen her for decades. She still misses me before she dies. It’s just that old friends are gone, and when I leave, who am I thinking about?”

The mother turned around, sat in the corner of the bed, and wept.

Are there some characters hidden in the depths of everyone’s heart, accompanied by joy and sadness, usually lock it up? I dare not touch it, let alone know it to outsiders, until some days when my heart is clear, or when I return to the light, my heart is weak, and I can’t lock it anymore. Finally, the character emerges.

Will one day, when we are near, suddenly find out that the person we love most in our lives is the one who has been forgotten for many years……

“Love was feeling the person everywhere, under your skin, in every strand of your hair, in your heart, in your bones, in the tone of your voice when you said their name. Love wasn’t always about being with the person, it was feeling that your world was better just because they lived. Even if you weren’t ever going to be together, he was the air you breathed, invisible but everywhere.”

By Jacqueline Simon Gunn

Comfort zone binding your freedom

“If you always do what is easy and choose the path of least resistance, you never step outside your comfort zone. Great things don’t come from comfort zones.”

By Roy Bennett

What keeps binding your freedom?  Is your comfort zone.

Bravely step out of the comfort zone, looking for a better world and a better self!

Everyone has their own comfortable circle. The so-called comfort zone is in your familiar circle, facing familiar people and things.

The comfort zone is like a circle, with your friends, family, everything in your life, where you live, where you work, and so on. We live in our own comfortable circle every day, because we feel free, relaxed and safe to stay in our own comfort zone.

With a comfortable circle, I think probably everyone wants to stay in their own circle, and they don’t want to change their current life and routine without anything.

“We are so accustomed to the comforts of “I cannot”, “I do not want to” and “it is too difficult” that we forget to realize when we stop doing things for ourselves and expect others to dance around us, we are not achieving greatness. We have made ourselves weak.”

By Pandora Poikilos

However, if one day we encounter something that needs to step out of our comfort zone, have you ever thought about what will happen to you?

“Will be afraid”

“I don’t have the courage”

“I’m afraid of making mistakes”

“I’m afraid of strangers”

Is that what you think?

“You never change your life until you step out of your comfort zone; change begins at the end of your comfort zone.”

By Roy T. Bennett

I once read a sentence: “Humans have a natural fear of the world outside the circle, because strangeness makes them seem to have come to an uninhabited desert island.”

Yes, if we leave the comfort zone, we will be afraid and fearful, because things outside the circle are very strange to us and will make us feel a strong sense of insecurity.

But if you are afraid, how can you improve?

In our lives, we will inevitably encounter some things outside our comfort zone that require us to muster the courage to face. And these things are a way that we must go through when we grow up, and they are also a way that will enable us to truly grow.

new environment

“Ends are not bad things, they just mean that something else is about to begin. And there are many things that don’t really end, anyway, they just begin again in a new way. Ends are not bad and many ends aren’t really an ending; some things are never-ending.”

By C. JoyBell C.

We must understand that “The end of one thing means the beginning of another. At the turning point of this process, there is something everyone needs to learn called adapting to the new environment. For example, after graduating from high school, you must adapt to the new environment of the university, and you must adapt to the new working environment when you change jobs.

For people who live in their comfort zone, it seems that they can’t learn the lesson of adapting to the new environment. They are unwilling to jump out of their circles and re-examine the new environment. What are they afraid of?

Having your own comfort zone is about the same as having your own social circle. Staying with friends you know can be very free and free, and there is no restriction at all. However, in the new environment, they are afraid of being alone because they are not brave enough to make new friends. The reason is that in this process, apart from taking the initiative, it also depends on whether the other party is willing to accept himself.

“Like an animal, I adapted to the world around me until it became my norm. This is me now. I’m a killer…”

By Arti Manani

If they step out of their comfort zone, they will have a lot of worries. For example, worry about whether you will not adapt to the new environment, whether you will be unpleasant in the new environment, and so on. Because of too many concerns, they are unwilling to try to take that step.

But life is all about you not working hard, if you never take that step, you will always live in your own circle. You will never make progress in this way, and you will never learn new things. If you are willing to step out of your own circle, you will find that things outside the circle are nothing more than that. Things will not be worse than imagined, but people always need a little time to adapt. Chinese people always said: “There must be a road before the car reaches the mountain, when the boat gets to the pier-head, it will go straight with the current”, mean everything will be all right, and the new environment will always force us to grow up.

Challenge yourself

Do you like to challenge something you dare not do? Such as extreme challenges, horror film challenges. If so, then your life must be wonderful.

“The comfort zone is a psychological state in which one feels familiar, safe, at ease, and secure. You never change your life until you step out of your comfort zone; change begins at the end of your comfort zone.”

By Roy T. Bennett

But I believe that people who like to live in their comfort zone must be reluctant to challenge some things they dare not do, because they are reluctant to overcome psychological fears.

Here I can only say that if you are unwilling to try to challenge yourself, you will never know how powerful you are. It only takes you a brave step to discover that things are not as scary and difficult as you imagined. But if you are unwilling to challenge something you have never done before, you may never know how difficult it is.

Therefore, many people like to challenge themselves to extreme challenges, because they want to test how brave they are, and want to overcome their fears to discover and enjoy the beauty of the moment. If you overcome the fear in your heart, you will discover a new and beautiful world, and you will also reap a new brave yourself.

“True potential for growth is measured by your willingness to let go of what you think you know, and embrace something seemingly contrary, thereby, challenging yourself to go higher. It is impossible to learn something new without rejecting something old.”

By C. Orville McLeish

independent

“Life is a process during which one initially gets less and less dependent, independent, and then more and more dependent.”

By Mokokoma Mokhonoana

What kind of talent is considered independent? It is undoubtedly that you can support yourself on your own, not relying on others too much. Independence is the process of discovering oneself, discovering that there is a most loyal friend, that is oneself. If things are within my control, then I don’t have to rely on others, I can rely on myself.

It is impossible for a person to be independent at birth. Independence is cultivated slowly, and it all depends on experience. How can I become an independent person? It is undoubtedly to continue to accept challenges and face failures.

It is not that people living in their comfort zone cannot be independent at all, but what they can be independent is also the things in their comfort zone. If something unexpected happens, they may become anxious and uneasy. The reason is simple, that is, they are usually unwilling to challenge things outside the circle, causing them to accumulate insufficient experience to face unexpected situations.

If you are willing to step out of your comfort zone, you will face a variety of problems, and these problems must always fail when you overcome them in the first place. But even if you fail, you will gain new experience from it, so it won’t be so difficult the next time you overcome it. Stepping out of your comfort zone must be your right choice.

“You must always overcome your comfort zone”

By Sunday Adelaja

For the outside world, the unknown is indeed too frightening. It is indeed very difficult for people to get out of the inherent comfort zone. Many people dare not try because they feel that they do not have enough ability to face the difficulties outside the circle. Many people tried to go out, but faced Lou Ci’s failure, which led to denial of the world outside the circle. So, it takes a lot of courage and strength to get out of your comfort zone. Perhaps there will be someone in your life who will pull you out of your comfort zone and make you a better version of yourself.

Although stepping out of the comfort zone will make us easy to make mistakes, only when we make mistakes can we learn new things from it. It is impossible to expand our horizons by moving around in a circle that we are familiar with. Only when we cross the line of the circle can we increase our knowledge and build a better self. In this way, our small circle can be drawn bigger and bigger, and can contain more things.

Get out of your comfort zone and discover more little things!

“Expose yourself to your deepest fear; after that, fear has no power, and the fear of freedom shrinks and vanishes. You are free.”

By Jim Morrison

The harder you work, the luckier you are!

“If you don’t give up on something you truly believe in, you will find a way.”
By Roy T. Bennett

To you who are chasing dreams: “Don’t give up if you have a dream!”

“What is your dream? Which one do you choose, dream or reality? Five years of pursuit, the answer is still unclear, no matter how you must continue to walk on thorns.”

When we were young, we were often asked by most people: “What is your dream?”

Yes, everyone has their own dreams and what they want to be in the future, but many times life is not what they want. You are happy when you imagine realizing your dreams in the future, but often reality will ruthlessly crush your beautiful imagination.

Choosing between dream and reality is like choosing between a job you like and a job with a ‘money’ job. How would you choose? I believe that most people will choose the most popular job and give up the job they like, because we all think that interest cannot be used as a meal. So, in the same way, dreams and reality, I believe most people will choose to rely on reality.

“Why don’t you try to do what you like?”

What is your reason? “Family situation is not ideal”, “Family does not support”, “I want to take a stable road”, is this your reason?

Nothing can stop you from doing what you like, so don’t find reasons to convince yourself. No road is always smooth, because such a road is meaningless. We only live this time. If we choose the path we want, we must go on no matter how difficult it is.

“I have walked a lot and got a lot of marginalization. The same is being yourself but being used to compare. I have stepped into this society before it has transformed, just treat all the injuries you have suffered as tuition fees.”

We often encounter many setbacks and blows on the way to growth. These are all good things; setbacks will force us to grow and know how to deal with problems.

And those who grow up with us must have people who like and don’t like us. We often do our truest self, but we somehow hear others talking about ourselves behind our backs. We can’t control their thoughts, but we can control our own lives. Your own life is up to you to make decisions, and you no need change yourself to please others, because no matter how you change, others can’t be satisfied with yourself.

“Don’t care, the so-called gossip; Keep your initial heart, be firm and don’t doubt it.”

On the road to chasing dreams, there will inevitably be doubts, because we have no strength, and others don’t want to believe us. But we can’t just give up in pursuit of dreams, we must prove ourselves and let them know that those who are willing to unconditionally support themselves when they have nothing have made the right choice!

When chasing dreams, we are often influenced by the outside world and it is easy for us to give up, because our beliefs are not firm enough, so we often give up halfway. It only takes a second to give up, but when you want to give up, ask yourself first, “Why did you do this in the first place”, always remember and feel the beginning of the initial heart.

Persisting all the way until now, you can’t give up so easily. “Why do I think to give up when I try so hard?” If every time you can’t adhere to, tell yourself: “Insist on for a while”, you may find that it is not difficult to persist.

Colorful world, just need to maintain the initial heart, I believe that it is not difficult to persist!

“The road ahead has never been clear, how can the darkness of the world let me follow my heart.”

“I don’t know how much darkness this road is, nor how many turns this road has; if you go forward and don’t look back, you will never be impatient, and you will never find the wrong answer.”

“Live the Life of Your Dreams: Be brave enough to live the life of your dreams according to your vision and purpose instead of the expectations and opinions of others.”

By Roy T. Bennett

People who have dreams it’s not because they know what the future will be then they have a dream. People with dreams are full of longing for the future, but they don’t know what will change in the future. So, people who are brave to chase dreams are brave, because they know nothing about the future but persist on to the dream to move forward.

Dream chasers firmly believe that the end of this road is good, bright, and promising, so they will not look back, if they do not look back, the decisions they make will not be wrong.

A really easy way to walk is not a broad road, but a trail, because you can gain more experience as you walk through as many turning road.

“You may be the only person left who believes in you, but it’s enough. It takes just one star to pierce a universe of darkness. Never give up.”

By  Richelle E. Goodrich

#The journey of chasing dreams is worth rushing for us!

What is a dream?

“Twenty years from now you will be more disappointed by the things that you didn’t do than by the ones you did do. So throw off the bowlines. Sail away from the safe harbor. Catch the trade winds in your sails. Explore. Dream. Discover.”

By H. Jackson Brown Jr.

I believe that everyone has great dreams.

“All our dreams can come true, if we have the courage to pursue them.”
By Walt Disney

What is dream? There is no need to think too complicated, the dream is that simple! If you are willing to dream, anything can become your dream! Dream is a kind of expectation for the future, the goal that I want to achieve in my heart. Such as career and love and so on. Thinking in dreams is sometimes equal to ideals.

What is the most common problem we heard from others since we were young? Whether it is a teacher, a parent, or a relative or friend, from their mouths we can most often hear them asking us:-

“What do you like to do?”

“What do you want to do in the future?”

“What kind of person do you want to be?”

Of course, the questions that cannot be skipped are undoubtedly:

“What is your dream?”

And when they ask you these questions, do you feel overwhelmed and wonder how to answer them? Don’t need to think too complicated, the dream is actually very simple. If it is something or something you want or desire to happen, then it is your dream.

“The moment you put a deadline on your dream, it becomes a goal.”
By Harsha Bhogle

Dream is the life you yearn for. Everyone has a life that everyone yearns for, and everyone has different pursuits for the life they yearn for. We often imagine what our future life will be like, whether it is a comfortable and relaxing paradise life, a fulfilling and wonderful life, or a busy urban life.

The dream does not have to be the accomplishment of something that everyone admires, and the life you dream of in the future can also be your dream. For example, could buy the house of dreams, harvest the desired love, get the ideal job, and so on. When you have illusions about life, your life will be motivated, and this motivation will push you toward your goals, and at the same time make you to be a better person.

Sometimes others will laugh at your dream life, but it belongs to you alone and is unique. So, you don’t need to pay too much attention to other people’s perspectives, just let yourself live the life you want!

What kind of person do you want to be? The most common answer is undoubtedly ‘I want to be a singer’, ‘I want to be a painter’, ‘I want to be a doctor’ and so on. Yes, the dream is the person you want to be.

There are many special reasons. Many people dream of being who they want to be, such as singers, actors, and painters. However, most people think that such fantasies are too unreal, and not everyone has a certain degree. Ability and strength can be taken, so they only dare to have illusions and not dare to pursue them. Maybe you who are reading this article have the same idea?

The way we want to be in the future seems to be far away from us, it seems unreal, and it doesn’t seem to be true, but at the same time it is very close to us, because if we work hard, it will be realized. Although you may find it impossible, many people have done it. They can, why can’t you?

“Dreams don’t work unless you take action. The surest way to make your dreams come true is to live them.”

By Roy T. Bennett

Many people may not realize it. In fact, a simple sentence: “I want to be a happy person” can also be your dream. Maybe your current life cannot make you a happy person, so your dream is to be a happy, happy, carefree person. Similarly, some people have been particularly humorous and funny since they were young, so their dream is to be a funny person in the future, hoping to bring joy to those around them. So, if you dare to dream, you are willing to dream, then anything can become your dream.

Don’t know if you found it? A dream can be something you have always liked to do, and it is something you want to do for a lifetime.

Our lives are always looking for what we like to do. What I liked to do when I was young may be different from what I like to do when I grow up, because people will grow up and people will change. We try to understand and touch everything, because we are always thinking about what we really like to do. And when you find something, you really like to do, you will want to treat it as something you have been doing all your life, then this is your dream.

In order not to let the future self-live so tired, some people will want to turn what they want to do for a lifetime into their lifelong career, because doing what they love does not feel hard. Of course, on the contrary, some people do not want to turn what they like to do into their own work, because work brings pressure to our lives, so if they turn what they like to do into an infinite cycle of work every day, then it will become a kind of pressure.

“Dream your own dreams, achieve your own goals. Your journey is your own and unique.”

By Roy T. Bennett

People always have dreams.

Many people think that dreams are ‘dream’ and ‘fantasy’, both of which are unreal and unrealistic. But dreams have special magic power, that is, they can become the driving force of a person’s life. People must have dreams to live, because it gives people a direction and gives them the motivation to sprint towards the goal.

If people have no dreams, their lives will become meaningless, hopeless, and goalless. Dreams are people’s beautiful expectations. Because dreams are beautiful, so dreams come true has become the most desirable thing for people.

If you have certain goals and ideas for the future, anything can become your dream.

Those who have dreams are very bless.

Oh, dreams, dreams, dreams…….

How wonderful and fearful it is to realize these dreams!

But aren’t they just make life thrilling and worth living?

Most of us are afraid of crossing the safety line.

We are so obsessed with a safe and secure life that we just use this life to survive instead of living!

Yes, fear is normal. It’s scary to do something you can’t guarantee!

However, if it allows you to realize your dreams, is it worth the risk?

If crosses and leaps will cause your soul and heart to become more fulfilling, is it worth fighting for?

Destined love

“Sometimes the dreams that come true are the dreams you never even knew you had.”
By Alice Sebold

When I was a little girl, I knew that one day my wishful prince would come unexpectedly. I often imagine him riding a snow-white horse, he will invite me to seat at horseback and then ride me to his city. I believe that somewhere in this world there is a special person looking for me, just as I am looking for him. If it is destined, this kind of thing will happen.

I was 17 years old that year and he finally showed up. The young man’s name was Ted Bennington, and he was a new neighbor. My mother gave me a small gold box hung on a necklace on my birthday. The golden box is not new, but it is her collection for many years, and my mother always keeps this small box together with a few souvenirs that father gave her mother.

I said: “Mom, do you really want to give me the box? This belongs to you!”

Mom said: “Really! It really means a lot to me, but as I promise to myself that I will handover this box to you when you are 17 years old, and it’s belonged to you now my girl.”

There was an elusive look in my mother’s eyes. I glanced at her puzzled. In fact, the marriage between father and mother can be described as happily ever after. My father was warm and considerate, mum and dad always seemed to have unlimited happiness when they were together until my father died two years ago. I am secretly funny; I really don’t know what sad things will happen to my mother. But I do like this box, it is small and exquisite, shaped like a chicken heart, tied with a small gold chain, which makes people love it. But what makes my heart beat the most is that Ted Bennington gave me a simple blue headscarf with gold trim on it, which is really beautiful. I love the gifts Ted gave me, but I love him more. I like his pale-yellow curly hair hanging down on the front collar, bright and honest blue eyes also nice square jaw, it looks cute. He looks shy, likable, and serious, he looks so outstanding when compared with the glib tongue, self-righteous guys in our upper grades.

“Love is like the wind, you can’t see it but you can feel it.”
By Nicholas Sparks

About two months ago, I started to pay attention to Ted, when he came to our class for only a month. He is a quiet boy and never participates in any team in the school. After class or on weekends, while other classmates were hanging out and having fun, he had to go to a grocery store to work. At that time, it was an alumni dance party. As a senior high school girl, you can’t have too many choices, because most boys in this grade give their hearts to the first and second high school girls. I had to make a list of the remaining boys and crossed out the ones that were too short, now only 4 people remained in my list. But three of them were either too fat or unable to get along with me or spitting when talking, Ted became the only candidate in the end. When he walked out of the classroom after class, I was waiting there, pretending to bump into a piece by accident.

I accosted and said: “Nancy is hosting a family dance this weekend, Ted, this is an event for women to invite men. Do you want to go?”

“Go? You mean to go with you?” he asked.

“Yes!” I said.

This, this, I must go, thank you! I’m happy to go.” He said.

He was a little flattered, really wondering if he had ever taken a girl to any place when he grew up. I can’t help thinking, maybe it was a mistake to invite him. Will everyone like him? The people who attended the prom were all mainstream figures in the school. Is Ted a group? However, everything at the party was pleasant. Ted tried his best to adapt to it, dancing, participating in games, and talking with people, it really seemed like a proficient socialist.

After the party he sent me home on the way, we talked about each other’s plans after graduation, I said that I will study secretarial major. He told me that he was working hard to get a scholarship from Durrain College and was going to study medical science there. The moonlight is dim and graceful, which makes people have an inexplicable impulse. Suddenly it became clear to me that my little empty hand was shaking on one side of my body, and I believed his hand was the same. I really don’t know how many times our little hands touched each other and how many times we were electrocuted? On this road, we two stopped talking, and instantly felt that there was only us left in the whole world, and suddenly felt that each other could hear each other’s nervous and excited heartbeats. Now we are enjoying walking silently in the moonlight. What’s even more inexplicable is that our hands slowly got together at each other without knowing when they started.

“Destiny is not a matter of chance; it is a matter of choice. It is not a thing to be waited for, it is a thing to be achieved.”
By William Jennings Bryan

Ted took me to the alumni dance party, which seemed so natural. A feeling of heart trembling made me suddenly realize that Ted is the special person I have been expecting since I was young! Our feelings became more and more deep as time went by. We took a walk together, went hiking, and participated in a picnic party under the blue sky. Ted played a melodious guitar during the picnic, and we sang aloud together. These are days of infinite poetry and happiness. Then one day, Ted brought good news. He had won a scholarship from Durrain College.

Ted asked: “People would call me Doctor Bennington, how do you feel?”

I said: “It’s wonderful! But I will miss you.”

He said: “Me too, I wish you could go with me.”

I comforted him and said: “Don’t worry! I’ll be waiting for you here. Maybe I can find a job in that college before you graduate.”

Ted said: “That’s great, but I’m afraid.”

“What are you afraid of?” I asked.

Ted said: “Oh, everything is so perfect, I’m so afraid of losing you.”

“Blindly worry!” I said to him, “you won’t lose this destined love!” but I was wrong. In the first few months when Ted left me to go to college, we wrote letters to each other more diligently. But gradually, our letters became lesser and lesser, probably this is the beginning of the ending. He couldn’t go home together celebrate Thanksgiving, and when he came back at Christmas, I was getting measles. Finally, Ted has a new girlfriend. She is a classmate of their school. Ted wrote to say that he was sorry about it and said that he knew I would understand.

It was raining the day the letter was received. I lay on the bed listening to the patter of rain. I don’t hate Ted; I don’t even hate that girl. It’s just that I can’t believe what happened. At this moment, my mother walked in. I know what she is going to say.

Mum said: “There are other lads, you may not believe it now, but there will always be.”

I said: “Maybe, but Ted is my only beloved, I will never love again!”

Mom was silent for a while, and then said: ” Is the little gold box I gave you hanging on the necklace still there??

I said: “Little gold box? Oh, of course. It’s in the top drawer of the dressing table.”

Mom took out the little gold box and asked me to put it on. “Look,” she said, “this is the special lover who gave it to me when I was 17 years old.” I cherished the little gold box and thought of my dead father. What a happy life he once had with my mother!

“He is kind, likable, and different. I was convinced that he was the man I was destined for,” my mother said slowly, lost in thought, “but within a few days of our engagement, he died in A train accident.”

“What did you say?” I exclaimed, “I thought… You mean you had loved someone before Dad? The other person you thought was the most special?”

Mum said: “Yes, that’s the way it is, I think if I marry him, I am sure I will be very happy. But the result was that I married your father three years later. We also love each other, and I am also very happy with him.”   

“I don’t understand.” I said.

Mum Looked at me quietly and said: “Baby, what I want to tell you is that there is not only one special person in this world who will make us happy, but there are many such good people, Ted is just one of them. It’s just that he came too early.” . I almost cried because I felt that my childhood dream was being crushed.

Mum said softly: “One day, a good man will come at the right time, and he will be the one you are destined for.”

  She leaving me alone, walked out and closed the door gently. I’m listening to the sound of rain, I looked at the door my mother closed when she went out, but I thought of another door which was the other door of hope she opened for me just now.

“Yesterday is history, tomorrow is a mystery, today is a gift of God, which is why we call it the present.”
By Bill Keane

“You remember your first love because they show you, prove to you, that you can love and be loved, that nothing in this world is deserved except for love, that love is both how you become a person and why.”

By John Green

You grow up with me, I’ll stay with you till old

“Fathers and daughters have a special bond.

She is always daddy’s little girl.”

By Richard L. Ratliff

Maybe you are not a good person, you are easy to hold grudges, and you are not a magnanimous person at all; you dare to do anything outrageous, and you have no scruples at all. Because you have a bad temper, you are easy to impetuous, and you are always easy to offend people.

Since I was young, people around me always said that I was like you. I don’t want to be like you. Because I really didn’t see what compliment this was.

However, such you, as early as someday 20 years ago, from the moment you kissed my forehead, had already taken root in my heart. I never miss you deliberately, and I will never forget.

When you were 26 years old that year, when you were still confused about life, when you still had nothing, you were glad to meet the most important woman in your life. Under your relentless pursuit, finally have a wedding photo. At that time, you were young and handsome, hugging the beautiful bride with full of happiness.

When I was two years old, you were 28 years old, and the profession of “father” changed you a lot. You began to learn to work hard to earn money to support your family, racked your brains to start a business, slept in the street, and was despised. At that time, you still didn’t have a successful career, and I naturally became a left-behind child. I can’t understand a man who goes home once a year. The hugs you give me every time you go home will not make me miss, because in my eyes, only the toys and snacks you brought back can be remembered by me forever.

I was 11 years old, and you were 38 years old, and you hit me for the first and only time. I brought back the test papers with full of red crosses, I’m not even care, and I still watched the cartoon with relish. At that time, you were angry, tore the test paper to pieces, and slapped me severely. I covered my face, rushed into the room, and cried all afternoon. No matter how hard you knocked on the outside room’s door, but I was still ignoring you. At that time, it’s just because I totally don’t understand your good intentions. After a several moments, you smiled and said: “Dad is wrong! I promise I will never hit you again. Please forgive me, okay?” After that, you never hit me again.

When I was in junior high school, I was 15 years old, and you were 42 years old. No matter rain or shine, you must pick me up every weekend. I originally agreed with my friend to go to the same high school, but you firmly refused and very persistently let me go to another middle school. You were very patient and said to me: “Learning environment affects your future. I don’t want to let you take risks. Now you may not understand my thoughts. As time goes by, you can gradually understand my intentions.” Although I have Ten thousand were unwilling, but I did not let you down. As you wished, I entered the high school smoothly. You smiled happily and exchanged greetings with the teacher. I was sad to part ways with my friends. At that time, I must have resentment in my heart because I still didn’t understand you.

In 1998, I was 18 years old, and you were 45 years old. At this time, you can understand chemical equations, but you can’t help solving a question. You can read a few words but can’t tell the meaning. You cook for me by yourself every day. You tirelessly instilled chicken soup for my soul, but my grades were erratic, and I could see your anxiety. On the last day of the college entrance examination, when I stepped out of the examination room, you suddenly appeared in front of me and gave me a hug without asking anything. At that time, I couldn’t see your expression clearly, I just wanted to hug you tightly. When filling in the volunteers’ form, you said that “Medical Science” and “Teacher” are good, but I said that studying “Forestry” and “Chinese” is good. As a result, none of us convinced anyone.

This year I am 20 years old, you are 47 years old. I am far away from home, I have slowly got used to college life, but I don’t miss you often. As weekly practice, you will call me every other time. Tell me about the recent blood sugar drop, the phone number has been changed, and the driver’s license test has been completed. I will tell you that there are competitions and sports meet in the 4th grade examination recently. I will not tell you that I often sleep in at school, sometimes cry when I am wronged, I will only say it well, then you will feel at ease. But in fact, like father, like daughter. I always learn from you to report the good but not the bad.

Now I still can’t spoil like a baby in front of you, and I never said, “I LOVE YOU”. Every time I go home, I know that someone will always be waiting for me at the exit of the train station. I always beg you to make steam fish, and then I will praise you, you will accompany me to watch movie, I will stay at home obediently for a few days, and then I only will go out with friend after. You still have a bad temper, and sometimes mother will quarrel with you too. I will still be angry with you, and then every time I take the initiative to apologize.

Now you begin to take the initiative to listen to my opinions, no longer authoritarian and overbearing. I have been away from home to study for a while, but you still worried about me, because in your heart I will always be just a child.

I used to say that if one day, I can meet the right person, I will go with him to the ends of the earth. You said you were sad, and at that time I complained that you didn’t understand romance. Later, when I watched a father handover his daughter to another man at the wedding scene, you just said: “I have guarded my daughter for so many years, you must not let her be wronged. If one day you no longer love her, please remember to inform me to fetch her back home. Thank you! Remember that you two must be happy forever.” As a bride, I began to burst into tears, and at that moment, I understood that in this world, the love of my parents will never be repaid. No matter who you meet, no one will tolerate you more unconditionally and love you than their parents.

I have written a lot of articles about you, but I can’t write well all the time, and I don’t know how to write even gorgeous words. I’m a lazy and stupid person who can’t do anything well, but I’ve been spoiled by you for so many years. I don’t have many dreams in my life, in addition to constantly disappointing you and liking to fight against you, I also don’t bring you much pride.

The love of the previous life is deep and shallow, and the flesh and blood of this life are connected. I cannot participate in your first half of your life, but I will accompany you to the end for the second half of your life. Maybe in 5 or 10 years I will grow up slowly, I will get married and have children, and you will grow old slowly, but I will work hard to be a happy person, let you rest assured, and make you happy forever.

Daddy, you grow up with me, I’ll stay with you till old. I LOVE YOU DADDY!

“Appreciate your parents. You never know what sacrifices they went through for you.”      

– always love your parent –

Father’s sad tears

Father’s love is a deep love and an indispensable responsibility. Father’s love has no thoughtful and warm words, no constant nagging in the ear, and no gentleness that accompanies me day and night. But my father has always given me a mountain of support and a kind of peace of mind all the time.

No one can replace whose role in someone’s life, even if I grow up, even if I have a lover who will spend my life together, even if I have a child, even… But no one can replace the love of my father in my life, No one can give the peace of mind that my father gave.

In my mind, my father has always been like an omnipotent tree of life. In the spring of life, he gave me colorful fantasy. In the summer of life, he gave me down-to-earth growth. In the autumn of life, he gave me his maturity spring and autumn. In the winter of life, he gave me calm contemplation.

On the road of growth, he gave me a kind of courage called brave. For a long time, in my mind, he is an immortal strong, a pronoun of strictness, and a symbol of strongest.

My father always took me shopping when I was young, he always holding my little hand in his warm big hand, so warm, so at ease. We talked and laughed as we walked, my father was so young and I was so little, but the scene was indeed so beautiful, which remains fresh in my memory.

When i started when to middle school, every school opening day and holiday, no matter rain or shine, dad will still ride his lovely motorbike to fetch me back home. At that time, I felt that everything was what he should do, and I enjoyed it for granted. Now I understand that there is no waiting in my father’s love. Only my father is reluctant to let me wait, he will always arrive earlier than me no matter when and where.

I graduated and didn’t go to university. For a while, I always had tumultuous with my father because I didn’t understand why he wouldn’t let me go out to work. He always said: “It’s too cold, wait until the weather is warm next year only plan for it”. Again, he said: “You are too naive, naive until feel bit silly”. He also said: “How comfortable is at home, don’t worry! Your father, me, there is extra pocket money for you to spend“. At that time, I felt that my father was so outdated and verbose. Now I understand that only in my father’s love, there is nothing to do more but to pay without asking for anything in return. Only my father is reluctant to let me face society and reality too early. He always hopes that he can hold me in his warm palms forever and protect me, and never let go.

I have always lived in a loving family, especially my father has always protected me very well. Really, with him, no matter where I am, I feel full sense of security and ease.

I am married, have my own home, and have my own lover. I clearly remember that I had a C-section that night and gave birth to my son. When I was pushed out of the operating room, I instinctively said: “Dad, I’m pain”. After this incident, my husband was always jealous and said: “Why didn’t you tell me? Aren’t I important in your heart”? But that is an instinct, and now I understand that no one can replace someone’s role in someone’s life. Husband’s love cannot replace father’s love. It should be said that no one can replace father’s love.

Father’s love will not make people the feeling of missing, father’s love also will not make people the feeling emptiness, but his love is already going deep into the bone marrow and is everywhere.

No matter how many years it is the suffering of life, or our rebellion. Whether it is the torture of disease, or the test of the environment. There are all kinds of states in the world, and there are all kinds of flavors in life. My father always walked calmly and faced calmly. I never saw him lower his head, bend over his waist, and never saw his tears.

What a good father, I always thought that God would care for him, and he would enjoy his family in his old age. But………………….

A car accident took away my only brother and my father’s only son. I saw my father that night, he did not shed tears. He just sat on the sofa stupidly, staring straight at me. Repeated a sentence: “You said, why is your brother’s life so short”? Suddenly, his father’s back was hunched, his hair turned white, and his face lost the high spirits look.

My father has always wanted to take my brother’s body home for a few days, but due to our custom, if the parents are still alive, and the child’s body is not allow entering the house. At that moment, my father cried, and tears were dropping uncontrollable. His tears fell on my heart, like a thousand pounds of stone pressing my heart. My heart really pains! Only for a few days, dad keep losing weight and keep getting old. God, you are too cruel!

What I never thought of was that my father was stronger than I thought. He endured his grief and began to work and began to continue my brother’s unfinished work and mission. In order to continue the spirit of his deceased son, he also installed my brother’s mobile phone card in his mobile phone.

I pray that god will always bless my father and make him safe and healthy. I always said: “Dad, don’t worry, I am also very strong, I will always be by your side”. Dad, have you forgotten? Your daughter is an intimate little padded jacket. In front of me is peace, in the back is happiness, auspicious is the collar, wishful is the sleeve, and happiness is the button. No matter where you are, I will always be with you, I love you daddy”.

I am the daughter of my father, my palm retains the warmth of my father, the passion of the father flows in my blood, and the fortitude of the father is inherited in my eyes. Therefore, I will work hard, I will be strong, and be a better version of myself.

Just because I don’t want to see my father’s sad tears again!

“I can no longer see you with my eyes and touch you with my hands, but I will always feel you in my heart.”

– Dad who misses his son

“Guys always think tears are a sign of weakness. They’re a sign of FRUSTRATION. She’s only crying so she won’t cut your throat in your sleep. So make nice and be grateful.”

By Donna Barr

The epidemic Coronavirus disease (COVID-19) has made me do a lot of regrets, and it will be a lesson I will never forget in my life.

In July 2021, a black month and a broken family month to my family, the daily cases of coronavirus disease (COVID-19) are on the rise, and the government’s epidemic prevention measures seem to have failed. My father really cannot coexist with the virus. He failed to overcome the torture of the virus, and finally gave up the fight. Maybe this is the best choice for dad!

A real story which happen in Malaysia.

In the past, we were sitting in front of the TV with Dad watching the news, discussing the epidemic together, and saying to Dad: “Dad, you see that so many people pass away every day, it’s really scary”.

He just didn’t expect that one day he would become one of the death tolls.

Before dad be a COVID-19 patient, he insisted go to wet market to sell fish every day. He used to get up at 3am in the morning, and even getting earlier and sooner. Dad always mention, during this pandemic, many people are jobless and trying to find alternative way to earn money for their own and family, hence fish seller are increase and if late he must buy expensive fish for sell.

At the end of June, one of the staff from chicken department stall in the vegetable market was diagnosed with COVID-9, but sad the person in-charge refuse to inform all the seller immediately for next step. That selfish aunt eventually caused the elder brother who sells vegetables to die of COVID-19.

July 7th: We immediately took Dad to do PCR TEST. At that time, Dad’s result was negative, and our family members felt more at ease.

July 10th: There are people in one of the shopping centers was diagnosed with COVID-9 which is my mum working place. The company have arranged my mother to do PCR test and lucky the test result is also negative, so we can rest assured.

July 12th: Dad started to feel sick, fever and headache. My mum asking him to see doctor but dad refuse to go.

July 13th: At 8 o’clock in the morning, my father reluctantly decided to go to the doctor because he was sick, the high fever persisted and bone pain. The younger sister and mother also started to feel sick in the morning, low-temperature fever and dizziness. However, on the same day, my father and sister went to do the second PCR TEST, and the test result was positive. In the evening, my father started to be had hard breathe, also the second sister asked if he wanted to go to the hospital due my mother was worried that my father’s body would not be able to hold it. In addition, I saw on Facebook that the medical equipment, beds and others in the government hospital is already not enough to support for critical patient, some people must sit and wait. We don’t want my dad to sit and sleep in the hospital because my dad is already unwell, so in the end there is no arrangement for admission.

July 14th: Dad’s friend brought a lot of herbs to Dad. Dad’s feel much better after drinking it, and he didn’t pant. On the contrary, the younger sister’s condition look more worse, with fever, cough and vomiting.

July 15th: Dad cooked medicine and drank again, his condition suddenly deteriorated. Dad started to pant again. Dad’s blood oxygen index was only 88-89, because we had no medical knowledge and did not understand the importance of blood oxygen index. With this serious condition, we really regret did not send Dad to the hospital early for treatment until it became irreversible. In addition, also considering the situation at Klang General Hospital, no matter how much I want to take my father to the hospital, it has stopped. At that time, I saw my father panting, so I helped him get a massage. After the massage, my father felt much better and his breathing was much easier, but I didn’t know that my father’s symptoms were severe at the time already.

July 16th: After dad death, we noticed that he had sent a voice message to his friend, saying that he should really be dying this time. Dad said he was hungry and wanted to drink a glass of Milo, tried hard to walk to kitchen due he didn’t dare to disturb us because we were also infected. He always blamed himself at the time. Frankly speaking, we have not dared to send our father to a government hospital because we are afraid that our father will not be taken care of. In addition, our father cannot speak Malay and we cannot go to the hospital to take care of him. We are worried and helpless.

July 17th: Dad is not doing well all day, but he can still sit in his own seat in the living room. Our relatives have been giving a lot of suggestions, I was tempted, and will arrange dad for admission, but I still refuse to send my dad to Klang General Hospital. I plan to arrange my dad to go to other hospital for treatment the next day. In the middle of the night, my father’s coughing had getting worse with panting, and he couldn’t sleep. I also got up in the middle of the night to help my dad massage for the first round, he spit, and the sputum was bloodshot. After sleeping for a while, my father coughed and spit again, and the situation remained the same. I continued to massage my father until he fell asleep. However, I was getting more and more worried at the time. The oximeter was broken, and we could not measure Dad’s blood oxygen index. However, I had a very bad premonition, I knew that I would have to send him to hospital tomorrow. Having said that, our family members don’t have the basic knowledge that the coronavirus disease will cause the blood oxygen index to fall. We only know the basic conditions that can cause fever and cough. Really regrets for the late knowledge.

July 18th:The most disturbed and regrettable day! Originally, our family should get the first vaccine today, but we were diagnosed. My sister ‘s boss brought us an oximeter. Oh my god!! My dad’s blood oxygen index plummeted from 70+ to 60+. I am very scared and don’t know what should do for the next. So, I immediately asked my relatives for help, and they also borrowed an oxygen cylinder for us. Then we also arranged to purchase oxygen cylinders separately. Due to lack of oxygen, my father has begun to coma and can no longer speak. My sister and I called 999 and asked the medical staff to arrange for my father to be hospitalized.

I am very anxious and have been arranging many, many things. I already know that my father’s situation is incomparable to before. The ambulance came and the medical staff asked about our father. He has said terrible things, I have been sick for so many days, but I did not cry, even there are many things to be arranged at home, and I still dare not cry. But at this moment, I knew that maybe my dad condition is getting bad, and I really cried. The medical staff said that there are many patients in the hospital now. If medical equipment such as bed, oxygen cylinders and so on is not enough, they will choose to rescue patients who have a better chance of survival than critically ill patients. This means that my dad is likely to give up first aid. The medical staff also said that basically the current situation is that we want our family to choose to let our father leave home safely, so that our family can accompany my father to the end. If I choose to send my father to the hospital now, it is now the last side of our family. At that moment, our family’s hearts were broken. He let us choose, how should we choose?

Yes, we are decided to let the ambulance leave! I walked to the room, holding dad’s hand, and said, “Dad, don’t be afraid, nothing will happen, I will help you.” In fact, when I left the door of the room, my brain went blank, I didn’t know. What should I do, it’s that mean I can only ask my colleagues in the company for help? Correct, I really need my colleague helps. My colleague still suggested that I arrange for my dad to be hospitalized immediately. I said that the Klang General Hospital has notified that it may give up first aid. I can’t bear to take risks. I must let myself calm down quickly. My colleague said: “Let’s call different private hospitals separately! Please don’t think about the issue of money first and find a way to raise money after you find the hospital. At the same time, I very contradictory is my mother said our current family financial conditions simply cannot afford the expensive medical expenses. Private hospitals must pay a deposit before starting medical treatment service, and private hospitals have always told us that if we want our dad to be sent to the hospital, we must have a CAC certificate. What are you kidding? Dad’s condition is already so serious; how can he line up to CAC? There are so many people in CAC, and some people line up all day too, what should I do?

I am grateful to my colleague for selflessly helping me find a suitable hospital. After several hour, a private hospital recommended KL Hospital after knowing about our situation. I acted immediately and sent my father over…but he couldn’t walk at this time. The whole person is almost unconscious. I said to dad: “Please be brave dad, we will go to the hospital now.” Except for my dad, our family is all women. My sister and I let Dad sit in a chair, move it away little by little, then hold Dad and put him and the oxygen cylinder in the car. Fortunately, Dad arrived at the hospital safely. The front desk of the hospital collects information from us, he curiously asked us why we sent Dad over so late, because at that time dad’s blood oxygen index was only 28, which was terrible. I am very sad and sorry. Why do I have no in-depth understanding of what is Coronavirus disease (COVID-19)? How to self-rescue when facing an emergency? Why I never look the disease as dangerous sign? Why I’m so stubborn?

The doctor told me and my sister to wait in the quarantine area, because today is likely to be the last time, we saw Dad. From 8 to 10 in the evening, I kept thinking, the doctor hasn’t come out of the emergency room yet, does it mean that my dad is okay? Dad will get better, right? At about 10 o’clock in the evening, the doctor calmly told us: “Your father’s blood oxygen index has risen to more than 70-80. You all can also go home and rest. Don’t worry, he will be fine for the time being.” On the way back home, the hospital called to inquire more details again, and explaining that tomorrow should be able to transfer my father into the ICU ward. Fortunately, Dad persisted for us.

July 19th: My younger sister is still very worried about father’s condition, so she called to the hospital early in the morning to find out about father’s condition. Maybe the hospital hotline is too busy, exaggeratingly saying that after calling for a long time, she still couldn’t find the right department. But this did not make my sister give up, lucky star always with us, finally she manages asked my father’s number in the ICU ward and know about the progress of his father’s condition. My father’s condition has finally stabilized, and his blood oxygen index has reached 92. In order to let father, get a good rest and sleep, the doctor arranged for a nurse to infuse his father with sleeping fluid. Basically, he did not ask much information, but the doctor said that the next step is It depends on Dad’s own willpower. My sisters and I have been desperate for several nights, and today we are finally completely ill.

July 20th: Dad was awake on the 20th, but the doctor was worried that his father would feel constant pain and would pull the oxygen tube because of the intubation, so the doctor helped him to infuse him to rest and sleep.

July 21st-26th: We call the hospital every day and only get this reply: The situation is the same, there is no special progress. Gradually, I started to have an ominous premonition again, because in the past few days I have also checked and read a lot of information about new coronary pneumonia, and it also mentioned that if the patient cannot breathe on their own, the situation is very dangerous. At the same time, I also saw a report on Facebook introducing the symptoms of new coronary pneumonia and how the new coronary pneumonia virus damages the lungs and other body organs. I started to wonder if my father might choose to leave us. What can we do for Dad now?

July 27th: What will happen will happen eventually! The doctor has called and told us that we must be prepared. Dad’s condition is not very good. Dad relies too much on the ventilator. Now that the oxygen supply is increasing, his lungs are not taking in oxygen at all, which leads to a large loss of oxygen. When he was sent to the hospital, he had no problems with his heart and kidneys, but when he was sent to the hospital, bacteria kept attacking his lungs. Although it is close to the end of the quarantine area, the power of bacteria is still very strong. Today, his heart and kidneys have begun to weaken. Due to the lack of oxygen in the lungs, the heart will continue to supply oxygen to the lungs, leading to rapid failure. Fortunately, with the help of the medical staff, we still can see the father for the last time and talk to him by the way. We implore my father to take care of our mother with our sisters and promise that he will take good care of our mother. Our sister also said to dad: “Dad, if you are really tired, we hope you don’t be afraid. Follow the Buddha slowly, and the Buddha will take you to see your parents, our grandparents. In the next life, we will still choose you to be our dad, dad we love you”. After talking, my father had tears in the corners of his eyes, and his breathing began to weaken. We believe that Dad able to hear our voices. At this time, Dad’s blood oxygen index was 15-18, and we were mentally prepared ourselves.

July 28th: June 19th in the lunar calendar (the day of Guanyin Enlightenment), my father was very strong he waits until around 12 o’clock in the morning only leave us. Dad really loves us, he is afraid that we will stay up all night and wait for him, hence he chooses to leave at around 12 in the morning; Dad wants us to feel at ease, so he chooses to leave with Guanyin on June 19 of the lunar calendar, which is the day of Guanyin Enlightenment. In the morning, my younger sister and I ended our isolation. Both of us go to hospital helped my father handle the hospital checkout procedures and bring home dad’s relics.

July 29th: Cremation Day. That’s right if the deceased died of COVID-19, they must be cremated or buried immediately. So, Dad really left us today. Goodbye, dad, meet again in the next life.

Fortune Flower : This sophisticated bloom represents fertility, luxury, beauty, wealth and luck. They are also symbolic of abundance.

July 30: We went to the crematorium to collect the ashes of our father, carefully picked them into the ashes urn we selected, and then went to the funeral home to do simple merits and Dharma. After that, we took my father’s ashes home. The amazing is that the FORTUNE FLOWER that has not bloomed for 4 months suddenly bloomed. I don’t know if it’s an illusion or a dream, except for the first 7 days (Chinese dead of calendar for dad), I think my father also went home the next day. Maybe he wanted to wish me on “Happy Birthday” by the way.

July 31: After we finished the respect ceremony, meanwhile the “entry into the tower” ceremony (to place dad ashes urn in the tower) ended smoothly and my father was rest in peace.

Love letter from daughter to dad

Dear Daddy,

Thank you for everything, thank you for all the memories, thank you for being there when I needed you.

As my father, the best part about you is that you are much more than that. You are a comedian with the best jokes. You are a strong person with a strong personality. Somehow, you are a jack-of-all-trades and you still remember the names of all my stuffed animals. You are a five-star chef (steam fish expert), and you are a family hero. Most importantly, you are more than just a father. You are the best father a daughter can ask for.

I love you every day, miss you every day, and miss you every day. However, what I think most is how grateful I am to have your experience as a father, as a father, and as a friend.

However, all is left with memories, thank you dad for his selfless dedication, you will always in my mind.

From your lovely daughter

“It hurts to think that you are not here anymore. Although I can’t help but smile with tears in my eyes to think of how we cherished each and every moment of our lives together when you were alive. I miss you, dad”.

We must be the masters of our lives

Life needs to be under your own control, or you must control yourself sooner or later. The influence of others on you is just a reference for your life. If we can’t even control our own life, then your life will ultimately be a failed life. Life is our own business, and where we should go in the future, we need to make our own choices. Others are just passing by, and we are the masters of life.

A story is only the cutest when it becomes a story. If we restore it to reality, then we will not find the original poetic feeling and hazy beauty! Sometimes, we like to think of our life as a story. We are all people who live in stories, and we are all people who have stories. Perhaps in stories, we will like ourselves more. Life is our own business, if we feel happy, we can think whatever we want.

We must learn to release ourselves, not to be a depressed person, and to keep silent in our hearts, but we must also learn to restrain ourselves. It is an irrational behavior to make a noise in front of others because of a momentary unhappiness.  If you make a big noise in front of others, it will only cause others’ full distress and your own unhappiness. Life is our own business, we don’t need to think about it, we won’t be happy either. In this case, don’t interfere with others, just as you don’t want to be interfered by others. Life is our own business, and sometimes we need to learn how to choose. If two people with different values reluctantly stay together, they will only gradually lose the values that they adhere to. In life, it takes a lot of courage to choose whether to leave or not. You need to make your own decisions, and others can’t help you.

We must learn how to let go. Sometimes, you feel that your existence is a mistake. If the other person thinks so too, then it’s time for you to leave. Continuing to persist will only cause unnecessary distress to the other party and your own uncomfortableness. Maybe we have abandoned others, maybe we have been abandoned by others. Sometimes life bores us, but also makes us feel depressed or even decadent. If you want to stay decadent in your bones, then no one can save you except yourself.

We must learn not to complain, not to blame others. Sometimes, when the situation is not so good, we will occasionally complain, just like the sea is always there whimpering, complaining that we are not peaceful. If you continue to complain about life and people and things around you like that, then you will live very tired, very tired, and one day, you will be abandoned by life.

We must be good at self-examination. Life is our own business. Why do we have to involve others in disturbing our tranquil heart? If you complain about others because of your own fault or situation, it is irresponsible to yourself and a great insult to others. Never try to target others all the time, and never continue to hate others. Otherwise, one day, you will not know who you are. Life is our own business, why should we push our own business to others? If you want to live with a wonderful life, you need to continue to work hard and make continuous efforts. If it’s your own fault, so don’t accuse others of leaving ungratefully. Life is our own business; we must light our own lights and illuminate the path we choose. There is no need to blame ourselves for the sins we have suffered. If the established facts in this human world can be restored, then the mistakes we have made are worthy of our careful consideration, but as we know this is not the case. In fact, there is no reincarnation in the human world. You will find that life is ridiculous. Many people get along just to get what they need. That’s all.

We don’t have to make unnecessary shadows for ourselves. In fact, the world is not too bad, but we think it is too complicated, and habitually find some reasons to deceive ourselves. Life is our own business, and we have reasons to choose how to make ourselves better, more mature, and more attractive. We need to worry too much in life, but if we want to fly higher, we might as well try to forget the horizon. What you want at that time is your own business, and only you know what you want to do. So sometimes, life and life need individuality, no need for others to point out, and no need for others to participate.

We should let ourselves learn to relax and be relieved. Since birth, each of us has been walking in the same direction. No one will leave the world alive. In the end, we will all turn into loess. There is no need to always use other people’s Success comes to torture yourself, and there is no need to always worry about your failures. We are all irreplaceable individuals. Don’t forget ourselves, and don’t always live in the trivial joys and sorrows of others. In a life, we should have our own world and our own life, and don’t be disturbed by the disturbances of the outside world.

No matter how difficult there are in life, we must face it bravely. We must know that life is not what we want to do, and life is not as good as we think. We will always encounter some Difficult, in the face of difficulties, maybe we will continue as before, maybe we will stop, life is our own, and it depends entirely on ourselves. You can choose to change from now on, or you can stay the same. This sentence itself has no rules from beginning to end. In fact, we all don’t want to be sad, we all want to be happy, but it’s not surprising that we all have an affair with sadness. In life, there are always some pain points. Life is our own business. Don’t place hope on others. We still must take the initiative to face it, bear it, and deal with it.

There are no fixed rules and regulations in life, even we may spend our entire lives trying to look for or learn around, maybe in the end we still unable to understand or absorb what we have learn. If there are no flowers, no sunshine, only the boundless void and darkness, then do you still believe in tomorrow? Life needs to stop on the edge of despair. No one can help us. We are always struggling on the path of self-selection. Therefore, we will stick to it throughout our lives. I believe that one day we will understand and comprehend the principles. Don’t wait until life is slowly becoming dangerous before you start preparing for tomorrow; don’t wait until you discover how much you fail now, and then start busy thinking about the future. Life requires us to make some preparations in advance! Life is our own business, our life needs guidance from others, but we don’t need too much extreme guidance. We must always remember the main axis of life is ourselves.

We must always remember that we are the master of our destiny. Even though we cannot do without the help and support of others throughout our life, we are always habitually trying very hard to cater to others, but in the end, we lose ourselves. Anything, if you are willing, can always become simple. However, many things went against our wishes, and we persisted so unhesitatingly. The world is too big, and life is too complicated. We still must find the direction we like and try hard to fly forward, be true to ourselves and build up the courage to face right and wrong, just because life is our own business, only we know our inner dynamics and what path we want to take.

“Don’t compromise yourself – you’re all you have.”

By John Grisham

With the mentality of never complaining, success is not far from you.

If you really want to live your own personality, please put away your grievances and dissatisfaction attitude every day, calm down and do everything well, then success is not far away from you. At that time, there is no ecstatic joy, and there is no free time to complain. This view is not based on my experience, nor is it a lesson from my failure. To paraphrase an ad slogan, it is just a “mineral water porter”. If you have studied Ma Yun’s life, you will have a new understanding of the “Never Complaining Mindset” and hate how much you missed because of the incomprehensibility and opinions of the past mentality. By the way, complaining can’t change anyone’s life, it can only add chaos to yourself. A person’s true failure does not start from his (her) failure, but from the moment he (she) accuses others.

Jack Ma Yun is a Chinese business magnate, investor and philanthropist. He is the co-founder and former executive chairman of Alibaba Group, a multinational, technology conglomerate. In addition, he co-founded Yunfeng Capital, a private equity firm. Jack Ma is a strong proponent of an open market-driven economy.

In the first 37 years, Ma Yun used the word “failure” to describe it, which is not an exaggeration. 37 years later, he suddenly became “lucky” and succeeded in his career. Is it really that he “become lucky”? The answer is no. Everything in his own words: “The secret is only two words: never complain!” The secret to Jack Ma’s success is only two words, think about it carefully. Is there any successful person whose achievements have been exchanged for full of complaints? Not to mention “Too many complaints make people feel annoying”, even time cannot be wasted, but how many ten or twenty years are there in a person’s life! The time to do something, maybe only up to 40 years. If you waste ten or twenty years by patronizing and complaining, it will determine that a person will accomplish nothing in his life.

Nobody’s success is for no reason, it is the result of concentrated efforts and hard work, and it is by no means the result of getting rich overnight. Even if you get rich overnight by accident, without the experience of calm and steady hands, the wealth you get by accident will continue to drain, and you will not be able to hold your wealth in the end. Having a mentality of never complaining does not mean that he (she) has no thoughts or opinions, but that he (she) has no extra energy to take care of things that should not be taken care of by himself. It is precisely because Jack Ma focuses on his own business and has no extra energy to complain, so Ma Yun has become a successful person. Everyone knows that apart from Alibaba, Huawei is also one of China’s most successful companies and one of the few private companies with a scale of 100 billion yuan. Its boss, Ren Zheng Fei, is also one of the successful figures that people admire very much. Ren Zheng Fei is very mysterious, and Huawei is even more mysterious. Dare to ask: If they have news here today, focus there tomorrow, and still have time to focus on their own careers, can they still succeed in their careers?

“Never complain” is a mentality and a basic prerequisite for success. Concentrating on doing your own thing well and doing your own thing successfully is the most important thing right now. Starting a business or starting a business cannot distract yourself, and people who work for others in the workplace are no exception. If you are full of complaints all day, you will never be able to do your job well, and you will be doomed to fail to go out of the right way. Although this is rough, but reason is not rough.

Teacher Ho Fei Peng believes that publishers must use knowledge to change the world. He does not think that “good books” rated by so-called intellectuals or cultural people can represent the reader’s position.

Mr. Ho Fei Peng, a senior publisher in Taiwan, once said that problems are common in all companies and all workplaces. He said: A young man told me that his company’s products had many problems, and competitors’ products were cheap and easy to use. He also tried to reflect to the company many times, but the company was unwilling to change, which bothered him and also didn’t know what to do for the next. Teacher Ho Fei Peng asked him whether the company’s operating conditions are terrible? He said that the company’s operations are good because the company sells and produces high-quality, high-priced products. The competitors are new companies and small companies, they use low prices and services to win. Although some small customers will be lost, big customers are still with us. . Therefore, the company is unwilling to adjust the product line.

Teacher Ho Fei Peng continued to ask, “why don’t you go find big customers and sell the company’s high-end, high-priced products”? The young man replied that he is a newcomer and his major clients are in the hands of old colleagues. He can only start with small clients, and he feels painful. Teacher Ho Fei Peng asked again: “What do you think or any plan to solve when you faced at this situation?” The young man replied: “The product is like this, what can I say?” The whole “story” is already very clear. The young people in the conversation are not only full of multi-faceted thinking about the company, but also full of resentment towards the company. Imagine the mental state of a young man, can he do well in the company? The answer is no. No company or unit will let an employee get ahead for no reason. Besides, the young man’s company is operating well, which shows that the young man lacks mainstream awareness of the company’s negative thinking. If the young man thinks about it in another way, his confusion may not be as great, and his situation may not be as embarrassing as he thinks.

This is not to say that the company he works for is okay, nor that he cannot have ideas as an employee, but if he has ideas, he should choose the right opportunity and speak in the right tone, provided that his work must be completed first instead of “It’s troublesome, I don’t know what to do”. The main reasons for this are:

  1. Any enterprise or unit, no matter how big or small, is a “game of chess”, one move affects the overall situation, and you must not disrupt the combination just because of your different opinions;
  2. Business management is an important subject that can never be finished. It is normal if there is a problem, and abnormal if there is no problem.

From this perspective, business managers will make fine-tuning without affecting the company’s operating conditions, because “operating conditions” determine everyone’s jobs and cannot be changed at will.

So, how do employees express their opinions at the right opportunity and in the right tone? “Appropriate opportunity” means that the company or unit spends a certain amount of time and sets up a certain place or occasion to widely disseminate opinions. Other opportunities and other locations are not considered “appropriate”; what is “appropriate tone”? It refers to the tone used by the subordinates for admonition of the superior, and other tones are not included in the category of “appropriate tone”. Why choose “the right opportunity and the right tone” to admonish? The purpose is to improve the effect of admonitions and let the leaders admire them. If this is not the case, admonishment will be meaningless, and it will make the leader feel resentful towards you. It can be said that from “never complaining” to “do things in an orderly manner”, this is not only the basic principle of life, but also the basic principle of behavior. If you lose these two basic principles, people will do things that are annoying, and things will be annoying. If you want to have prestige among your friends and colleagues, you must let most people say things well, but it may be difficult. .

“Don’t Just”

Don’t just learn, experience.
Don’t just read, absorb.
Don’t just change, transform.
Don’t just relate, advocate.
Don’t just promise, prove.
Don’t just criticize, encourage.
Don’t just think, ponder.
Don’t just take, give.
Don’t just see, feel.
Don’t just dream, do.
Don’t just hear, listen.
Don’t just talk, act.
Don’t just tell, show.
Don’t just exist, live.”

By Roy T. Bennett